Down in the dumps today.

This one isn't so much recovery related. I just want to vent right now, I've been pretty down the past few says. One part of the old winter time blues, especially after having nearly a week of nice bright sunny weather and now the usual cold and gray winter weather is back. That would be bad enough but I have my Dog not doing so good right now.

Last Thursday morning he suddenly couldn't walk. So I let him take it easy and see if he would get any better the next day. He didn't so I took him to the Vets office I dropped him off there. They told me to call back in the morning. When I did they said he was better and was walking around some, they wanted to keep him there for the rest of the weekend to give him more treatments and to call back Monday. I hung up the phone relieved to hear he was better and let the issue slide from there. Come Monday morning I call and talk to the Dr. and he said he's still the same, he's Ok to come home and in his his present condition either he's gonna get better or stay the same.

One bad thing is my place is not equiped for a dog to get around. There's stairs leading up to my door, but I can just carry him up and down those. But most of my flooring is harwood, and he can barely stand let alone walk on that without slipping and sliding all over the floor. I tried laying down a bunch of blankets on the floor and used some weights to help keep them down but it doesn't seem to hlp much. Anyway fast foward to today and his ability to walk has gotten worse. He can only walk wioth his front legs and h drags his back legs with him. I have a 1 week suppply of pain meds for him and all they seem to do is make him not be in as much pain. But he still whimpers and yelps out sometimes espcialy after he's been walking around and tries to lay down. he stays with me most of the time in my computer room which is carpted so he can get around a little easier. Other then that I carry him around the rest of the house. He did sleep better last night thankfully without whimpering at all. I made him a little bed at the foot of my bed and he was much happier sleeping there then he ws trying to sleep on the couch the previous night. Neither of us slept good then.

But regardless I only have 5 days worth of his meds left now and today I'm not seeing any improvments in his walking, in fact as I mentioned he's actualy lost some of his walking ability. And I know past experince has told me I know what I have to do next.....and I swear the older I get the harder it is to do. But it is the only humane thing to do, it's cruel to have him live on in pain and not able to walk. But I'm hoping that by some miracle turn of events it don't come to that and just a few more days of rest is what he needs. I can only hope. But seeing him like this the past few days has me down, depressed, and even more axious but I think I'm coming to accept whatever may happen. He's 6-7 years old but I only had him for 2 years. He was orginaly a neighboors dog but they never paid him any attention and always kept him outside and ignored him. But I use to always come to the fence and give him treats and feed him. And everyonce in a while he would get out of the yard to see and come straight over to my yard.

And even before I got him I refred to him as MY dog! Heck I think he listend better to me then he did to them anyway. Anyway long story short the couple split and the wife did a fly by night and I didin't see Jake for awhile so I assumed he was gone with them. And before I go on this black lab dog is HUGE! Not fat, but very muscular and strong. And he actualy after a few days of being locked up in the garage busted the door open and got over to see me! And by that time he had chunks of his fur he ripped out and had scabs in place of them and lost alot of weight. So I took him in nursed him back to health and we've been buddies ever since. And in the short time I've had him he's been one of the best, if not number 1 dog I've ever had.

And it just pains me to see him like this now, but if the worse case sceniro comes true and I have to bring him in, then at least in the 2 years he lived with me he knew what a good loving home is when he finally departs. Anyway that all I have to say, I'm not wanting to hit the bottle in anyway, I need to be clear to make sure he's as comtoable and well fed as I can get him.