I need a job!!
The need for fulltime employees is nonexistant right now.
Hell..there arent even too many partime job openings.
I have burned so many bridges.
I cant live on 20 hrs a week. I should have stayed at the last job. As much as it was driving me nuts. I am sorry I left now. '
At least it was a sure thing for 40+ hrs.
I did reapply today. But they will be doing that background check. So I know I wont be able to go back.
I friggin hate drugs....

I dont know why. Or how..and dont really care. But since yesterday and all day today. I have felt just content. Warm..peaceful..calm..Happy..relaxed.
I havent felt this good in months.
Been listening to music all since last night. And I am just good right now.
I needed it.
It gives me a chance to gather my thoughts. Keep my mind on the task ahead. Without all the stress and BS I have been dealing with the past 2 months.
I know I will be stressed again sometime....

I feel like I am coming undone in a serious way.
Hard to explain why. But I feel like I am not well.
The more I talk..the more I feel I need to shut up.
Second guessing.
I have gotten real insecure again.
I never cared what anyone thought. But now I am like obsessing how I come off to people.
WHY?
This me as a teenager all over again.
I havent felt like this since high school.
I feel stupid even posting this.

I am on the worst friggin emotional, mental, negative, angry ride ever.
I can not get my attitude or outlook in check. I want to just climb in a hole and hide.
This anger is not going away. Work is making it worse. The people I deal with all day are the most miserable, disrespectful a$$holes I have ever had the luck to deal with in my life.
I never relized how many people are so friggin rude before.
People are F****ing miserable F***s.
My work is suffering and...

Guess I'll eat some worms..

No point..Just sayin.

It amused me for 10 seconds. Time for bed..Oh the things we do now that we dont use anymore..