I feel like I can breathe again
Posted 03-21-2009 at 11:36 PM by Aysha
What hell i have been in for weeks now. Self made prison of depression and self pity.
I seriously thought I was giving up.
That was very new for me. I never stay down like that. And definately never that long.
It is a dark, cold, lonely place to be.
Alone in my mind with nothing but regret and sadness.
I dont know what happened tonight. But I just snapped out of it all of a sudden. I read a PM from a really good friend who has been going through some depressing times too. And the postivity of 2 sentences just smack me in the head. It woke me up. I was like..Oh yea...Thats exactly it!
I feel alive again. I feel like I can move forward. No matter what happens I am goin to try. And always keep trying.
I never ever want to sink into the depths of hell like I did the past few weeks. It is a very scary place to be. To feel like there is no hope.
My whole life has been an endless cycle of starting over again and again. But at least I keep starting over. I cant sit at the bottom forever.
Hopefully this is what it took for me to really get serious. I cant keep doing this shyt anymore.
There was a post in one of my threads. Anna said I been doing this so long that it is exhausting me. And she couldnt have been more dead on. I am tired of it. Tired of fighting with myself all the time. It doesnt have to be that way.
Because eventually it will destroy me.
I gotta put everything into this. Not next time. But right now.
No matter what it takes. I have to do it.
I dont like the darkness. I am afraid of the dark.
New day...Another start. This will be the last do over.
I seriously thought I was giving up.
That was very new for me. I never stay down like that. And definately never that long.
It is a dark, cold, lonely place to be.
Alone in my mind with nothing but regret and sadness.
I dont know what happened tonight. But I just snapped out of it all of a sudden. I read a PM from a really good friend who has been going through some depressing times too. And the postivity of 2 sentences just smack me in the head. It woke me up. I was like..Oh yea...Thats exactly it!
I feel alive again. I feel like I can move forward. No matter what happens I am goin to try. And always keep trying.
I never ever want to sink into the depths of hell like I did the past few weeks. It is a very scary place to be. To feel like there is no hope.
My whole life has been an endless cycle of starting over again and again. But at least I keep starting over. I cant sit at the bottom forever.
Hopefully this is what it took for me to really get serious. I cant keep doing this shyt anymore.
There was a post in one of my threads. Anna said I been doing this so long that it is exhausting me. And she couldnt have been more dead on. I am tired of it. Tired of fighting with myself all the time. It doesnt have to be that way.
Because eventually it will destroy me.
I gotta put everything into this. Not next time. But right now.
No matter what it takes. I have to do it.
I dont like the darkness. I am afraid of the dark.
New day...Another start. This will be the last do over.
Total Comments 2
Comments
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Posted 03-22-2009 at 06:55 AM by ANGELINA243
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Posted 03-22-2009 at 05:23 PM by lunarise








Also...good song--gotta love Amy! 
