I cant shake this sadness
Posted 03-17-2009 at 05:25 PM by Aysha
I guess I am tired of whining on the boards. And I know everyone is sick of hearing it. So I will whine to myslef here. So long as I can get it out and not keep it in.
Today is the first holiday where my family has been segregated. Why? because of me. My family is the type that will use any excuse to get together and have dinner. Or just get together in general. Any and every holiday, nice warm day or just because. We usually all go to my aunts for dinner. Summertime is a BBQ everyday almost.
My grams stayed home with me for St Patricks day because of what I did to my aunt a few weeks ago. Her and my cousins havent talked to me since. I havent even seen any of them and they live right behind me.
I dont like this. Not one bit. Its my own fault.
But I know my grams isnt goin to leave me alone on days like this. So she has to suffer along with me as usual.
I am such an idiot. Its goin to take alot of work on my part to get forgiveness on this one.
OMG..We are usually always so close. Now its like I am all alone.
I wouldnt want to be around me either. Actually I would have done it years ago.
This is my worst fear. I am getting a huge taste of what it is like to have noone.
I couldnt even lookm any of them in the face anyway. I am so ashamed of myself.
Today is the first holiday where my family has been segregated. Why? because of me. My family is the type that will use any excuse to get together and have dinner. Or just get together in general. Any and every holiday, nice warm day or just because. We usually all go to my aunts for dinner. Summertime is a BBQ everyday almost.
My grams stayed home with me for St Patricks day because of what I did to my aunt a few weeks ago. Her and my cousins havent talked to me since. I havent even seen any of them and they live right behind me.
I dont like this. Not one bit. Its my own fault.
But I know my grams isnt goin to leave me alone on days like this. So she has to suffer along with me as usual.
I am such an idiot. Its goin to take alot of work on my part to get forgiveness on this one.
OMG..We are usually always so close. Now its like I am all alone.
I wouldnt want to be around me either. Actually I would have done it years ago.
This is my worst fear. I am getting a huge taste of what it is like to have noone.
I couldnt even lookm any of them in the face anyway. I am so ashamed of myself.
Total Comments 2
Comments
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You are not alone. Although with family it does seem difficult at times...I understand. You will always have a "Brother" in Texas.
Posted 03-18-2009 at 10:30 PM by ANGELINA243
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HUG for you..and I personally enjoy all your posts! Im sorry you are feeling lonely... Is there anything you could do to fix things? Obviously I dont know the situation but...theres nothing wrong with tryin.... I hope you feel better soon....Posted 03-18-2009 at 10:36 PM by lunarise
