http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/ Online Support Groups for Addicts, Alcoholics and their Family, Friends and Loved Ones. Wed, 15 Feb 2012 22:23:16 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/4544-moms-love-written-my-friend.html Wed, 03 Nov 2010 22:05:14 GMT I wrote this poem with a very special mother in my mind.

A Mother's Love

Losing a child
is torturous pain
Where nothing,
can comfort that mother

She's wanting and needing,
her child back again
That child can't,
be replaced by another.

The truth is that child,
is part of her being
Part of her body, and soul
And if by chance,
that child's taken away
A mother no longer,
feels whole

She suffers a terrible
hole in her heart
That nothing,
on this earth can fill

She's aching, she's dying
and falling apart
Wondering how,
this could be part of GOD'S will

She struggles each day,
to get out of bed,
And knows somehow,
that she must go on

She deals with the sadness,
and faces the dread
Knowing that,
her sweet child is gone.

Some try to support her,
with words, and deeds
Saying things,
that just bring on more pain

When there's only 1 thing,
that poor mom truly needs
It's to be with her child
once again

So for every mother,
who has lost their baby
There's no pain on earth,
that is greater

So please know for sure,
and no, not a maybe
That you'll meet with your child,
again later

Because it's through dying,
That we are reborn
To heaven,
with our GOD above

Entering with peace,
into eternity
It is there
You will meet up with love

So beautiful mother,
please don't you cry
Don't grieve, hurt,
and live torn apart

Because you will be,
with your child once again
But for now,
That child lives in your heart.

Loving mother,
your pain is so deep
It's a pain that'll
never go away

Because every mom,
thinks their child is to keep
Never dreaming, they'll
lose them one day

So through your suffering,
heartache and grief,
Keep those memories,
both happy and fond


Because nothing is greater,
Than a mother's love
It's the strongest,
Most powerful bond

It's a bond,
that's so strong,
That nothing can break it
Not even a sister, or brother

It's the most unselfish love
here on earth, and in heaven
Nothing's stronger than
the love of a mother. ]]> Angelic17 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/4544-moms-love-written-my-friend.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/4146-greatest.html Thu, 12 Aug 2010 02:08:49 GMT The greatest achievement is selflessness. The greatest worth is self-mastery. The greatest quality is seeking to serve others. The greatest precept is continual awareness. The greatest medicine... The greatest achievement is selflessness.
The greatest worth is self-mastery.
The greatest quality is seeking to serve others.
The greatest precept is continual awareness.
The greatest medicine is the emptiness of everything.
The greatest action is not conforming with the worlds ways.
The greatest magic is transmuting the passions.
The greatest generosity is non-attachment.
The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind.
The greatest patience is humility.
The greatest effort is not concerned with results.
The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go.
The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances. ]]> Angelic17 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/4146-greatest.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/4093-father-joe.html Thu, 05 Aug 2010 04:35:26 GMT Here is to you,
your the best Fr. Joe,
We tried so hard to keep you,
Didn't want you to go

We're so hurt and upset,
that your life, reached it's end,
So much more than our pastor,
your our angel, and friend

We know that GOD needs you,
and HE'S called you above
It's so sad for us all,
cause we'll all miss your love

We are grateful that all
of your sickness, is gone,
It's a shame, that your life,
didn't get to go on
The whole time that we had you,
we knew we were blessed
We were proud, of you Father,
Cause you were the best

For all you have given,
no one else can compare
You led by example,through Christ,
and through prayer
You've given St. Lawrence,
so much through the years
That's why your leaving,
brought so many to tears.

You prayed for the sick,
helped the poor and dying
Now that your gone,
every body is crying
The reason we're sad
and all crying in pain,
Is because we all know
we won't hug you again

Your heart was so pure,
you were so kind and good
When we came with a problem,
if you could help, you would

You had so much knowledge,
of what life was about
You knew it was love,
we all can't live without

You meant the whole world,
to everyone in this parish
You gave it freely to all,
its your love we will cherish

We all were so happy,
for the time you were here
And although we can't see you,
in our hearts your still near

You wont be forgotten,
we want you to know
We LOVE you and MISS you,
REST IN PEACE Father Joe










]]> Angelic17 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/4093-father-joe.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/4000-prayer-addicts.html Wed, 21 Jul 2010 01:29:51 GMT Dear GOD, please hear my prayer, Take all of these addicts under your care Show them your peace and serenity Because trusting in You Lord Will set them all free Help the addict who has lost... Dear GOD, please hear my prayer,
Take all of these addicts under your care
Show them your peace and serenity
Because trusting in You Lord
Will set them all free

Help the addict who has lost his way
Give him the courage to get through the day
Without the use of hard drugs and booze
I'm hoping that You'll be the comfort they choose

Guide all of these addicts to recovery
Comfort their families for they aren't free
They too are suffering, their loved ones are sick
Please come to help Lord, Please make it quick


Teach the addict to walk in your light
Give them your mercy, getting clean is a fight
Show them that clean is the way they should be
Restore each one of them, to sanity

Thank You Our Father
In heaven above
Touch every addict
With your comforting Love

Amen

:bible ]]> Angelic17 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/4000-prayer-addicts.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/3591-god-my-11-yr-old-neice.html Mon, 17 May 2010 03:38:45 GMT There are troubled times, when life's just so hard.
It's in times like that, you should turn to GOD.

There are times when hurt, brings you to your knees,
God says, I'm right here, cast your cares on me.

Sometimes we have to wait, and it seems so long
GOD has his reasons, He will make you strong

When all the people around you, just don't understand.
GOD knows your heart, He says take my hand.

So if you feel alone, and your life's not fun
Give it all to GOD, Because his will be done

:bible ]]> Angelic17 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/3591-god-my-11-yr-old-neice.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/2918-written-cornerstone-treatment-center.html Thu, 03 Dec 2009 23:28:56 GMT 3/3/2007

When you were a child, and were happy at play, Did you ever dream you'd be an addict one day?
Well, nobody thinks it could happen to them,
They grow up, they make friends and the parties begin
It usually starts with a joint, drug, a drink?
The feeling is good, at least that's what you think,
But then before long you keep wanting that feeling
You still think your fine, that high's so appealing
And all of a sudden the troubles begin
You can't go to school, or to work, or the gym
All that you want is that false sense of good
You will beg borrow steal, go out into the hood

Sometimes you think you can stop if you try
So you say to yourself, just let today pass me by
But today turns to tomorrow, and then it gets worse
Your need for that high, now feels like a curse
You say to yourself, I can get what I need
And for the love of your drug, you are filled up with greed

You no longer care, about friends family or work
Your life is unmanageable, you feel so berserk
Your main concern, is that drug of your choice,
Even if you know it's your poison
All you hear is that voice

It's telling you get it, you need it right now
You'll do what it takes, to get it, you vow.
And that's when reality, hits you in your face
Your no longer healthy, your an addict, a waste

Your family, is crying, their begging and pleading
You care but you don't ,it's that drug that your needing
And so you realize, that it's now time to stop
You want to get better, get your life back on top

So it's time to be strong and let go of your high
You sit there withdrawing, you feel like you'll die
Your hot and your cold, your mind is sick, body shaking

Just give me some drugs, give me what I've been taking
I need them, I need them is all that you know,
I will get them somehow, I don't care where I go
Addiction is painful, it's hell, it is bad
It can be arrested, you have to get mad
Let go of your love for that high that you need
For if you live life on drugs, you will never succeed.
It's time to surrender, give it up let it go
A lifetime of drugs, will just kill you real slow
But some are not lucky, it take's their life quick
Other's don't die, their just constantly sick.

So sit back, and realize that your not alone
You can get some recovery here at Cornerstone
All that you need, is the strength to admit
That drugs brought you down, and that You want to quit

The staff will counsel, and guide you to health
When your done with the program
You will recover your wealth ]]> Angelic17 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/2918-written-cornerstone-treatment-center.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/2917-broken.html Thu, 03 Dec 2009 23:12:58 GMT Broken

I sit alone, in my back room
The joy once felt, now feels like doom
My son is grown, he's out there using
They say let go,
It's so confusing

Cause I'm so Broken
I need a healing
I'm so afraid
I hate this feeling

I've tried real hard
to give him to GOD
But I can't let go
cause he's my Joe

I know this pain,
is here to stay
Just when I think,
he'll be ok

Another clue
another lie
The same old fright
That he might die

But I can't stop him
Fear has me chokin
My boy's still using
My heart is broken

I've tried so hard
to get him clean
How many times,
must I intervene?

Yes, I'm so broken
My boy needs a healing
How many times
must I feel this feeling?

I still try hard
and pray to GOD
But the devil's got him
Like a pea in a pod

Yes, I'm so broken
Can't eat or sleep
I love my son,
this pain is deep

No truer words
were ever spoken
My son's addictions
have left me broken

Yes I am broken

written February 26, 2008 posted on 12/3/09 ]]> Angelic17 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/2917-broken.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/2173-i-am-your-disease.html Wed, 20 May 2009 05:22:08 GMT I AM YOUR DISEASE You know who I am, you’ve called me your friend Wishes of misery and heartache I send I want only to see that you’re brought to your knees I’m the devil :saevil: inside you, I... I AM YOUR DISEASE

You know who I am, you’ve called me your friend
Wishes of misery and heartache I send
I want only to see that you’re brought to your knees
I’m the devil :saevil: inside you, I am your disease.

I’ll invade all your thoughts, I’ll take hostage your soul
I’ll become your new master, in total control
I’ll maim your emotions, I’ll run the whole game
Till your entire existence is crippled with shame

When you call me I come, sometimes in disguise
Quite often I’ll take you by total surprise
But take you I will, and just as you’ve feared
I’ll want only to hurt you, with no mercy spared

If you have your own family, Ill see its destroyed
I’ll steal every pleasure in life you’ve enjoyed
I’ll not only hurt you, I’ll kill if I please
I’m your worst living nightmare, I am your disease

I bring self destruction, but still you can’t tell
I’ll sweep you through heaven, then drop you in hell
I’ll chase you forever, wherever you go
And then when I catch you, you won’t even know

I’ll sometimes lay silent, just waiting to strike
What’s yours becomes mine, cuz I take what I like
I’ll take all you own and I won’t care who sees
I’m your constant companion… I am your disease

If you have any honor, I’ll strip it away
You’ll lose all your hope and forget how to pray
I’ll leave you in darkness, while blindly you stare
I’ll reduce you to nothing, and won’t even care

So, don’t take for granted my powers sublime
I’ll bend and I’ll break you, time after time
I’ll crumble your world with the greatest of ease
I’m that madman inside you…I am your disease

But today I’m real angry…you want to know why?
I let all in recovery, entirely slip by
How did I lose you? Where did I go wrong?

One minute I had you…then next you were gone

You just can’t dismiss all the good times we’ve shared
When you were alone…wasn’t it I who appeared?
When you sold those possessions you knew you would need
Wasn’t I the first one who stepped in and agreed

Now look at you bastards, you’re all thinking clear
You escaped with your lives when you found your way here
Only fools think they’re winners when admitting defeat
It’s what you must say when you’re claiming that seat

Go ahead and surrender, if that’s what you choose
But, I’m not giving up. cuz I can’t stand to lose
So stand in your groups and support hand in hand
Better choices will save you…leaving me to be damned

Well, be damned all you people seeking treatment each week
Be damned inner strength, however unique
Be damned all your sayings, be damned your cliches
Be damned every addict, who back to me strays

For I know it will happen, I’ve seen it before
Those who love misery will crawl back for more
So take comfort in knowing, I’m waiting right here
But next time around, you’d just better beware

You think that you’re stronger or smarter this time’
There isn’t a mountain or hill you can’t climb
Well if that’s what you’re thinkin, you ain’t learned a thing
I’ll still knock you silly if you step back in my ring

But you say you’ve surrendered, so what can I do?
It’s so sad in a way, I had big plans for you
Creating your nightmare for me was a dream
I’m sure gonna miss you…we made quite a team

So please don’t forget me, I won’t forget you
I’ll stand by your side watching all that you do
I’m ready and waiting, so call if you please
I won’t let you forget me…I am your disease

Given to me by Myjoey.
I love this poem.
It's so true ]]> Angelic17 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/2173-i-am-your-disease.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/2152-poem.html Mon, 11 May 2009 01:17:28 GMT I've Loved you since birth,
better yet since conception
How could I have known,
Of your life of deception

The lying, poor judgement,
poor choices of friends
The list just goes on,
it just never ends

Extreme use of drugs,
No motivation to work
Sleeping all day,
up all night, its berserk

No education,
no college,no trade
It's been a big struggle
with you,
since twelfth grade

Getting arrested,
right here, and afar
This has me question
the person you are. :tapping

Why do you choose
such a life for yourself
You have a beautiful heart,
real good looks,
and good health

There are cripples in wheelchairs,
who wish for your life
You were born perfect and healthy,
and free from that strife

But life's full of choices,
and now your a man
Do you think that addiction
is a part of God's plan

God loves you and planned you
so long in advance,
Long before dad,
gave your mother a glance.

Whenever I see you,
it just breaks my heart
I see how these drugs
tore our family apart

I also know
once they get in your brain,
It's so hard to stop,
it just makes me insane

But I love you so much
your My son,
your MY boy

If my only child's sick,
then for me there's no joy

You must change your life,
where you live, and your friends,
Move out of that place,
turn to GOD make amends.

Now is the time,
start today,
Do Not Wait
Don't let jail,
or death be your fate.

I know life was tough,
when you were a boy
Your mom who you love
wouldn't let dad destroy
all of the plans that
she had for her son
He just wouldn't stop
It was a fight
no one won
I know how it hurt you
But what's done
is done

And he did his abusing,
In front of his son


But all of that's
not a real good excuse
To sit back and watch you,
with your drug abuse

I'm begging and pleading
I'm down on my knees
I know that addiction's
A dangerous disease

When you are sure,
and your ready to stop
I'll be here for you,
Help you climb back on top

Your young,
and your beautiful,
your my only son
I won't give up,
till this battle is won

If you could just love you,
the way that I do
All of this,
would be so easy for you.

Remember the love Joe,
before it's too late
I want you to get better,
So your life will be great



written for my son Joseph 2007
I Love You with all of my heart ]]> Angelic17 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/2152-poem.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/2002-saint-monica-patroness-mothers-saint-troubled-parents.html Sun, 22 Mar 2009 19:55:55 GMT Prayer to St. Monica Holy Saint Monica, I know that your life on earth as wife, mother kind grandmother, and wise friend to many women and men made you a saint when you stood before the throne of... Prayer to St. Monica

Holy Saint Monica, I know that your life on earth as wife, mother kind grandmother, and wise friend to many women and men made you a saint when you stood before the throne of GOD.

As I pray for your intercession, I pray for the courage to overcome fear and to find the Lord in the face of my friends, my neighbors, and especially in my own family, especially my family members whom I remember in a special way today.

St. Monica, help me when I grow discouraged in prayer. For you lived in the knowledge that even in the darkest moments, Our Lord never leaves us. He knows our needs better than we do, and loves us more than we could ever imagine in this world.

May your example help me to bring my prayers to the Lord, ever confident of His tender love and concern... even as I pray for these special intentions today. Amen
]]> Angelic17 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/2002-saint-monica-patroness-mothers-saint-troubled-parents.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/1969-suffering-through-struggles-addiction.html Tue, 17 Mar 2009 22:32:07 GMT Just as soon as I think I am suffering the most, or that I am exhausted from my own family problems, I come across another addict, or a mother of an addict who is far worse off than I am. Does that... Just as soon as I think I am suffering the most, or that I am exhausted from my own family problems, I come across another addict, or a mother of an addict who is far worse off than I am. Does that make me feel any better? No, Why? Because I understand what those people are going through, and I feel for them. I really feel terrible for them. I cry over my son who is messed up, and has lost everything due to his addictions. Until, I talk to the mother who has lost her child, due to addiction. Then I realize that there's still hope. In reality, my son didn't lose everything, for he still has his life. Does he appreciate that, I don't know. If I asked him, he would probably lie to me. Because that's what he does. He lies. Even when he doesn't have to, when there is no reason to. He lies. Why does he lie? Cause he's an addict and that's what addicts do. This is for every mother who has lost her child, due to the disease of addiction. I will no longer complain, or cry, or feel like my situation is the worst. That it is unbearable, and that I can't deal with this anymore. For I realize how fortunate I am, and how easily my son could have died out there many times, and for whatever reason, GOD has spared me the heartache of burying my only child. I will now, try to look at this torture we call the disease of addiction, as a lesson. As my cross to bear. And as a realization to cherish everyday in this life, while we are still alive. Every minute of life is precious, and it can be taken away in the blink of an eye. For today, my son is clean, and how fortunate for me to have that. He is in treatment. I don't know if he will stay, if this will be the last time he goes to a place like that, but I do know that some mothers never get this, and some mothers kids are out using, and they don't know where their kids are. I have listened to other mothers, who are grieving a far worse loss than I, and I have realized that there is still hope, for my son, and not to give up. To those mom's. You know who you are. Thank You so much. I wish there were something I could do to help you, because you have helped me to stop feeling sorry for myself, and to be strong. To let go of my fear, that has crippled me, and to take positive action in my only childs life. I'm not sure why some addicts die, and some recover. I don't know those answers, but I do know, that my heartache is nothing compared to the mother who will never get to hug her child again. How awful for that poor mother. I am powerless over what my son does, and I have learned that he will not live his life, the way I would want him to. It's his life, not mine. And that he was only loaned to me for a short time. He is not mine to keep forever. So to the mother's who have lost their children. My heart goes out to you, but just like me, your children are not yours to keep. What a horrible lesson for us mothers. It took me 28 years to learn that my son's life is his own. I know that with death comes peace, I know because I lost my brother to an over dose. With addiction there is a constant fright, that the relapse is coming. If I aniticipate that, that's what I will probably get. To me that's worse than death, but if I ask a mom who has already buried her child, I know she would trade places with me in a minute. I have no guarantee that this drug abuse with my son is over, but I do know for today, that he is clean. JUST FOR TODAY. I am hoping GOD holds my son in the palm of his hand. And gives my son the tools to live a good clean and normal life. I have learned to live in the day, and to LET GO OF THE FEAR. Fear is the Devil, and I will not give another second of my life to fear, and evil. Thank You to all the mothers, who have lost their children. I know I could be you easily. I take nothing for granted, and I have learned to be strong, because of you. I pray that GOD will heal you and bring you inner peace. Thank You for opening my eyes, and helping me to realize that I have so much to be thankful for, and to stop worrying. Fear and worry are a waste, and don't help anything. I have also learned that death is not the worst thing, that peace comes along with that terrible loss. I will fear no more. I'm going to hang on, in a positive way. :angel2: ]]> Angelic17 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/1969-suffering-through-struggles-addiction.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/1948-addiction-loving-addict.html Thu, 12 Mar 2009 22:27:04 GMT Loving and addict is so frightening
Your not sure, if they are going to live or die.
You want to help, but you can't
Because there's nothing YOU can do
to change that person. NOTHING
You can try to help them.
But the bottom line is
The addict must help himself
Otherwise your enabling

How difficult that is for a MOTHER

I truly believed that I could help my son
I felt that I could show him how to stay clean
I took him to meetings, doctors, therapists
I gave him all the tools he needed

Or at least I thought I did

And then the relapse comes
How heartbreaking
What I believed was working
Didn't work

I prayed, and prayed :c016:
I cried, and cried :bigcry
I talked and talked to him
I fought :a049:
I lost sleep

Until I got sick

Nothing worked
None of it


So I turned to tough love
The toughest love of all
If your using you cannot come into
this house, for anything
You cannot eat here, or sleep here
I will not give you any money, or anything
I will not drive you anywhere,
Except into treatment
I will not pay your bills
I will do NOTHING for you
NOTHING

Tough Love is so painful for a mother

BUT, It's the one thing that made my boy
go into treatment and stay for now.

TOUGH LOVE IS THE ANSWER
ENABLING JUST PROLONGS THE INNEVITABLE ]]> Angelic17 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/angelic17/1948-addiction-loving-addict.html