Addiction (Loving an addict)
Posted 03-12-2009 at 04:27 PM by Angelic17
Loving and addict is so frightening
Your not sure, if they are going to live or die.
You want to help, but you can't
Because there's nothing YOU can do
to change that person. NOTHING
You can try to help them.
But the bottom line is
The addict must help himself
Otherwise your enabling
How difficult that is for a MOTHER
I truly believed that I could help my son
I felt that I could show him how to stay clean
I took him to meetings, doctors, therapists
I gave him all the tools he needed
Or at least I thought I did
And then the relapse comes
How heartbreaking
What I believed was working
Didn't work
I prayed, and prayed
I cried, and cried
I talked and talked to him
I fought
I lost sleep
Until I got sick
Nothing worked
None of it
So I turned to tough love
The toughest love of all
If your using you cannot come into
this house, for anything
You cannot eat here, or sleep here
I will not give you any money, or anything
I will not drive you anywhere,
Except into treatment
I will not pay your bills
I will do NOTHING for you
NOTHING
Tough Love is so painful for a mother
BUT, It's the one thing that made my boy
go into treatment and stay for now.
TOUGH LOVE IS THE ANSWER
ENABLING JUST PROLONGS THE INNEVITABLE
Your not sure, if they are going to live or die.
You want to help, but you can't
Because there's nothing YOU can do
to change that person. NOTHING
You can try to help them.
But the bottom line is
The addict must help himself
Otherwise your enabling
How difficult that is for a MOTHER
I truly believed that I could help my son
I felt that I could show him how to stay clean
I took him to meetings, doctors, therapists
I gave him all the tools he needed
Or at least I thought I did
And then the relapse comes
How heartbreaking
What I believed was working
Didn't work
I prayed, and prayed
I cried, and cried
I talked and talked to him
I fought
I lost sleep
Until I got sick
Nothing worked
None of it
So I turned to tough love
The toughest love of all
If your using you cannot come into
this house, for anything
You cannot eat here, or sleep here
I will not give you any money, or anything
I will not drive you anywhere,
Except into treatment
I will not pay your bills
I will do NOTHING for you
NOTHING
Tough Love is so painful for a mother
BUT, It's the one thing that made my boy
go into treatment and stay for now.
TOUGH LOVE IS THE ANSWER
ENABLING JUST PROLONGS THE INNEVITABLE
Total Comments 4
Comments
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Hello my friend, just reading your blog I know the love you have son I have that same love always hoping they will change. You still have a chance to see your son grow and change. I don't have that anymore I just try and get through the days any more. We are guilty of loving to much.
Your friend
MaggiemacPosted 03-13-2009 at 07:40 PM by Maggiemac
- Angelic is he still clean and what rehab is he in? May i ask what he was addicted to? Your blog was very inspiring to me since im ready to take the next step which is tough love also but i am told so many different things it is confusing! May God give you the strength to continue being so strong. Thanks for the postPosted 03-14-2009 at 05:25 PM by Marissa
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Thank you for your blog posting. Tough love is hard, and it must be very hard for you as a Mom. I will pray for your son, and for you. You are one brave woman to be so tough, as I had posted before it is like free falling into an abyss. Quite scary. I always thought the ewwey, gooey type of love would conquer addiction, that was until reality set it.Posted 05-04-2009 at 06:32 AM by FreeBird09 -
Update as of 12/5/09
My son is now 10 months 100% clean, on no medication at all. Working, and doing well on his own. I just spent 3 months with him in Florida, and I am so thankful to GOD for answering my prayers. I am more greatful to my son, who cared deeply about how much he hurt his mother, and realized how deeply loved he is by his family. My son now has his own personality back, and that sparkle in his eye that was dulled by the use of his drugs. I take none of his sobriety for granted for I know that addiction is a disease always waiting to attack and take you back down. But just for today, everything is ok. I'm good with that.Posted 12-04-2009 at 11:24 PM by Angelic17
