http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/absentfriend/ Online Support Groups for Addicts, Alcoholics and their Family, Friends and Loved Ones. Sun, 22 Nov 2009 13:41:29 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/absentfriend/ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/absentfriend/394-my-favorite-meeting.html Sat, 01 Mar 2008 06:34:43 GMT ...is on Friday night in Falls Church, VA. I love it because it is a relatively small (~8 people, give or take) group of intelligent people who have complementary parts of their lives together. ... ...is on Friday night in Falls Church, VA. I love it because it is a relatively small (~8 people, give or take) group of intelligent people who have complementary parts of their lives together.

On top of that, the group tends to hang around for half an hour to an hour afterward, further discussing what they could relate to in others' shares, ideas that connected for them, etc.

Unlike some meetings which are real downers and offer not much hope at all, this one is actually quite productive. Everyone has something to offer, and everyone takes something with them. It's almost like collaborative brainstorming.

I believe a lot of the credit goes to the guy who chairs it, who unfortunately has to miss next week. I'm sure that his influence will still be there, though.

I'm always the youngest one at these meetings by at least 20 years, but at meetings like this it's easy to forget differences because the connections are so exciting. ]]> AbsentFriend http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/absentfriend/394-my-favorite-meeting.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/absentfriend/349-friendship.html Sat, 23 Feb 2008 05:23:28 GMT We go back a "provable" 20 years... she says this because she has a picture of me at her 8th birthday party.

I've never been any good at keeping in touch, because I always find reasons why people probably don't care whether they hear from me or not.

But without fail, if ever I do call or email, my friend Lauren is right on top of it. I don't have to wait for a response, or question whether she's happy to hear from me.

This time, I need her more than ever. And she is there. Not just there, but Present. She went through what I am going through about a year ago (finally beginning to deal with family issues, and feeling what we never were safe to feel as children). She had this (among other things) to offer me:

"You're going to get very angry. More than you have ever been before. And it will be scary, because you'll feel like it's never going to end. Then you'll get very, very sad. And you will feel like there is no end to the sadness. And it might take a long time, infuriatingly long. You have to walk through the **** to get to the good stuff. But you will come out the other side. And you can call me whenever you need to."

I am so grateful for whatever angel placed her in my life. ]]> AbsentFriend http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/absentfriend/349-friendship.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/absentfriend/348-first-time.html Sat, 23 Feb 2008 05:16:32 GMT I'm the bigger ******* in the relationship.

On the one hand, if it weren't for going to my boyfriend's NA meetings, I might not have had to confront my own issues. If it had to happen, better sooner than later.

On the other hand, as patient and hard-working as he is on his own recovery, I know without a doubt that if we break up, it will be almost entirely my fault, because of my warped thinking and reactions.

I've been working as hard as I can since I discovered that I belong in ACA, but I have to face the possibility that I can work as hard as humanly possible and it still might not work out with this wonderful human being.

At least if that happens, I will finally be able to release all of this pent-up anger. Because right now, I don't know what to do with it (road rage, anyone?).

Today in the shower, a hotter-than-usual shower, I actually got down on my knees, closed my eyes, clasped my hands together and said in my head, "I give up. Thy will be done," over and over.

I know things happen for a reason. But I can surrender AND still hope for what I want, can't I? ]]> AbsentFriend http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/absentfriend/348-first-time.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/absentfriend/347-good-start-any.html Sat, 23 Feb 2008 05:08:03 GMT I just posted this in the newcomers forum, and figured I'd put it her for my own memory.

Found this place a few days ago and just started posting. I am:

Sick and tired of family secrets, and being punished for being honest.

Setting boundaries with my family, finally.

Angry with my alcoholic/constantly fighting/unavailable parents, and am passive-aggressively using their credit card to pay my rent.

Amazed that my little brother decided on his own to stop drinking altogether, after his binges led frequently to blackouts, losing control of his car, and once, a suicide threat.

Hopeful that my other little brother will move out of our parents' house and recover from his anxiety.

Able to tell my story matter-of-factly to a friend of 2 years, while she is the one with tears in her eyes.

Grateful for a friend of 20 years that always responds when I reach out, no matter how long it's been.

A 10-month member of a therapy group, and relative newcomer to ACA groups.

A 4-month girlfriend of an NA member who has been clean for 1 year, 4 months. I never expected that MY recovery would be causing the most stress in our relationship.

Alternating between hope and exhaustion. ]]> AbsentFriend http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/blogs/absentfriend/347-good-start-any.html