As the end of the quarter nears, so to does my college year. It was intense, amazing and horrible all at once. There's been a lot of toss up if I stay here in Vancouver or if I move back to Calgary, where all my friends are. Due to recent events, I had decided to move home...but the more I think about that, the more I think that I'm going to end up being miserable in Calgary..but I think I may end up being miserable in Vancouver just because I'm alone. But, today I took a break from homework to...

Can't sleep tonight. It's weird. No matter how many times I wash my sheets...wash my pillow cases...even bought new pillows...my entire bed still smells like you. I can't bring myself to take the build-a-bear you made me off my bed. It wears your ring now...My necklace too....It resembles everything we were....everything we dreamed of being...but...where'd you go? I miss you. I haven't seen you in months...Do I ever cross your mind? Do you miss me? ...why did you text me like that? Did it mean anything?...

You can't help him. He doesn't want it. He won't ever be the same guy. Not after this. You sound the same as I did and look where I ended up. If you want to take the same path too, that's fine. Do not try to teach me. I know a whole lot more about this. I've been on both sides and talked to both sides years down the road. Something needs to change for him to want to change. And nothing will because everyone wants to spoon feed him. I hope to g-d that something even worse happens. Over and over....

Brendann isn‘t there anymore. You can hear it in the way he talks. See it in the way he acts. The way he thinks. None of this is affecting him. At all. He feels no pain. No remorse. He carries on getting high all day like nothing has changed. He is only going to get worse. He‘s surrounded by it. Lying is his nature. He will not stop. He admited that he gets killer headaches when he smokes. He makes himself sick. It‘s all he does. It‘s all that matters. He lied to the officer (and got caught). He...