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| | #1 (permalink) |
| Requires Adult Supervision Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Sons Of God MC - Maine Chapter
Posts: 442
| Thy will be done.
Thy will be done. I never understood what that meant. As a practicing alcoholic MY world was all the things I THOUGHT I had control over; People, Places and Things. But now that I’m in recovery I have realized that I am powerless over just about everything. I can’t control those people, places and things and that’s enough to make a sane person go crazy and a crazy person chew on a shotgun barrel. But there is a solution. I’ve learned how to “turn it over”. To let Him be in charge of all of it. I just have to suit up and show up. Of course this takes some measure of faith and coming from the faithless that’s quite a feat! I don’t spend much time analyzing Him. I just know that He is there and He’s got me covered. In that there is a certain amount of freedom, which means I don’t have to worry about “things”. I’ll get what I need on a daily basis and all he asks is that I let Him do it and that I keep my nose clean. Whenever I find myself slipping, it’s directly related to me trying to be in control, of things I have no control over. So, I’ll back up…. We have a hand off and I’m on my road to happy destiny once more. Ahhh, to be free…. Thank you God. For those of you that doubt God. Take the word of a former agnostic. Oh He’s real, you had better believe it. The fact that I can stay sober, is nothing short of a miracle. The fact that some of my friends are also clean and sober is also nothing short of miraculous. I was a daily drinker and as the book says “No human power could relieve my alcoholism.” Fact of the matter, I tried to quit many times and always in vain. This humiliation brought me to new lows I never dreamed were possible. My hands shook with the tremors and my nerves were short. When I would get underway, I would lock myself in my stateroom for days to dry out, before I was able to face the people around me. And when I was in-port, I never drew a sober breath. I feared going to the doctor because I thought he would find out what I already knew. I am a hopeless drunk. When I came to the program of AA they told me that I was going to have a “spiritual” experience and that I had better “grab it with all the fervor of a drowning man grasping for a life ring.” To which my retort was “That’s a crock of **** because I don’t believe in God.” So how can I pray if I don’t believe in God? Someone once told me this and it rang my bell. “You pray to whatever the hell will have you, if you want to live.” Because I am a hopeless drunk I could understand that. Some of my first prayers began with “To whom it may concern.” In working with other alcoholics I came to believe that a power greater than myself could relieve me of my disease. And I have come to know him as God. I have been in his presence and felt his hands on me. I have also seen His works in my life. By His graces I stay sober and have learned how to love and give freely of myself. All of this is only by His graces, the only thing I did was “get willing”. I got willing to see what was always right before my eyes. Once that happened, I was able to move into the light. I’m no holly roller, by no means. I'm still not one of those Jesus dudes. Religion if just crap to me. But I'm a lot more tolerant than I used to be. If it works for them, I can respect that. UT
__________________ Live Free. Ride Free |
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| | #2 (permalink) |
| Don't get undies in a bunch Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,166
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Tip of the iceburg. There is more but you sure are seeing the tip with a full vision. Your vision is 20/20 and these words... “You pray to whatever the hell will have you, if you want to live.” I sure am glad to find out who the only one who would have me was someone filled with grace and love.
__________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. ![]() Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today? |
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| | #3 (permalink) |
| Requires Adult Supervision Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Sons Of God MC - Maine Chapter
Posts: 442
|
Best, you're so right my friend, so right. I know that I have only begun to scratch the tip of the iceberg. And that’s cool with me. As long as I stay “willing” I know that more will be revealed in His time. The same with my sobriety, as long as I keep working the program things keep coming to me. “Sometimes fast, Sometimes slow” but they keep coming. The last 4+ months have just been awesome! I don’t know what God has planned for me but whatever it is, I’m sure it will be filled with His grace and love.
__________________ Live Free. Ride Free |
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| | #4 (permalink) |
| Casual Hero and Raconteur Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Austin, TX, USA
Posts: 1,240
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I arrived at AA a baffled, battered, and bitter agnostic. I suspected there might be a god of some sort, but if there was, he definitely was not my friend. In fact, thanks to the nuns at parochial school, I was convinced I was on some heavenly hit-list, and there was a lightning bolt out there with my name on it. It was just a matter of time before it found me. For that reason, the Second Step was a stumper. I could make the First Step admission of powerlessness and unmanageability - just look at the mess my life was in! - but I couldn't "come to believe." The only god I understood wasn't about to restore me to sanity, or do anything else to help me. I was stalled there, until I came up against an emotionally-overwhelming situation early in my sobriety. In desperation, I turned to AA's vaguely-defined "Higher Power," and uttered the age-old Drunkard's Prayer: God, get me out of this one! ![]() My prayer was crude and profane, but it worked. The tension and fear were lifted in that moment, and I was able to walk through the situation at hand without drinking or self-destructing. Since that time, I've had plenty of opportunities to rely on a Higher Power, and he/she/it has always come through for me. The result isn't always as dramatic or swift as that first, but at some point I realize my fear has been replaced with faith, the situation at hand has worked out for the best, and I've stayed sober through whatever it was. Today I have reason to believe (based on 28+ years of experience) that there is a Higher Power, and that HP cares about what happens in my life. I ask that HP every day to help me stay clean, sober, and smoke-free, and I stay clean, sober, and smoke-free. I ask that I be shown how I might best use the tools AA has provided me, how I may be helpful to others, how I might best live out my relationships with people in my world, how I can grow in understanding and faith, and those gifts are given me. As the AA book says: sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them. Alcoholics Anonymous 3rd Ed., page 84 Atheists might say I'm just deluding myself - that prayer is a form of self-hypnosis, and any result is just happenstance - to which I'd say "Who cares?" Whatever my belief is, it beats hell out of what I had before! As Martha Stewart would say: It's a good thang!
__________________ Bill J. from Austin Rigid rat shovel (AKA "The Bitch") Ratted-out Evo FLT (AKA "The Bagger") The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom, and I'm trying to get there as fast as I can! |
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| | #5 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: out there...
Posts: 2,654
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It's taken me 15 years to quit fighting the urge to whine because I was under the impression that God's will wasn't gonna be any fun and or be boring. Once I decided that maybe it was at best an even trade for all the crap I kept getting myself into running my own show ( while trying to help you all work out the miscasts, and typos in your screenplays), it's taken me another decade to quit worryng about specifically whether God's will was to trade my shovel in on a RG or just rebuild it again, or get heated seats in the truck..... blah blah ... .. etc. etc. I been gettin lapped in the learning curve my whole life ..lol But I do believe that prayers are answered every day. Abd since I didin;t know how else to pray as to avoid asking for anything we might need to pray to have removed later, I sort of found myself sayin "Lord just help me go where I should go today, with the people I should go with, and do the things we ought to, and please feel free to frequently rap me upside the head to be aware that I'm where I'm supposed to be" That seemed to work pretty good .... Then I got an email that had this scripture in teh signature. Quote:
I'm sure there are a whole lot of people who delve deeper into theology, that have more recommendations on what "God's will" is. I just don't think I ever heard anyone really take the time ( until I got to the rooms) to tell me how important it is to get good at being joyful and grateful before I get all stressed out trying to do the harder stuff. It about makes sense to me though that as hard as I make things out to be, it's only natural it took me 40 some years to get the complicated stuff ( that I put in the way in the first place) off some simple truth. | |
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| | #6 (permalink) | |
| ((( ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY ))) Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: manchester connecticut
Posts: 107
| Quote:
I couldnt have said it better myself. I love your spirit! Thanks For that dose of reality! Jennifer(( roses2005 ))
__________________ Personal sacrafice teaches unconditional love. ![]() ---Betty Eadie--- | |
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| | #7 (permalink) | ||
| Don't get undies in a bunch Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,166
| Quote:
Just need read what is written. No college degree needed.... Quote:
Being joyful in all things is a great starting place for sure.
__________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. ![]() Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today? | ||
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