New and worried about riding season

[Jeano]

Hi everyone. I'm 4 1/2 months sober and new to this site. I'm glad I found it. Don't know any sober bikers and I'm really worried about staying sober when it's riding season again. Living in Massachusetts, I won't have to worry about it any time soon (got 10" of snow yesterday) but I'm already thinking about it. Been doing the pub crawl 20 years now and it's all I know. All my riding buds drink. I have met a few sober riders at meetings but they're (how do I say this nicely) new generation.

How do you do it?

[recoveringnky]

Hey Jeano and welcome! I'm a newbie to this site, and have been sober for 2.5 years now. I'm not much on advice givin', but first things first.....STAY IN TODAY!!!! We can't worry about tomorrow...too much stress on us alcoholics and addicts!! ....breathe in...hold it....breathe out all the way...repeat..... are you relaxed!?!?! Now that you are all relaxed and staying in the day...there are several things you can do about riding season, IMHO that is. You can look up Sober Bikers United and see if there is a group in your area and ride with them. Also, if you are interested, there is the CMA (Christian Motorcyclists Association) and you could join up there and ride with them as well. Actually, there are many "organized clubs" out there you could hook up with if you want to ride with a group. For me, I can't ride with my old drinking buddies....gotta change people, places and things if I want to continue staying sober. There are a few people on this site that are members of SBU, BillJ is one I'm sure of.

Anyway, glad you are here and that you are sober! Keep coming back and remember to stay in the day.....24 hours at a time!!

ODAT!

[best]

hey Jeano

There are enough old school in MA that run sober.

It becomes a matter of finding them is all.
I am on the east coast. There are a couple of gathering places I know of.

www.bostonbiker.com lists a group or two. There is a group that runs rides and meetings up around the North Shore.

[BillJ]

Jeano,

Austin was a fair-sized city when I sobered up, and there were only 3 other sober riders here - a married couple, and a guy who decided he couldn't ride and stay sober at the same time, so was in the process of selling his bike. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time riding alone, or with "earthlings."

In the years since then, I've seen the pool of sober riders grow to 30 or more, and dwindle back down to almost nothing, over and over. Right now the head-count's pretty low, but in my experience the solution is the same, no matter how many (or how few) sober riders are hangin' around.

First, attend a lot of meetings. It is possible to leave a meeting and go get drunk, but the odds are greatly reduced.

Second, if you don't already have one, get a sponsor, and use that sponsor to work the Twelve Steps. Your sponsor doesn't have to be a biker - he or she just needs to know and work the Steps, and be willing to share E,S & H with you. My original sponsor actually had a long-held resentment against bikers, until he started working with (and praying for) me. By the time he passed away, many years later, he'd sponsored several other riders, and grown to love us all as if we were his own children.

Third, give yourself permission to un-ass any AO that makes you uncomfortable. I've walked out of some swingin' parties because I realized I didn't have a * "good social, business, or personal reason for being there," or was not on "solid spiritual ground." I've also declined invitations, if I felt shaky. It kept me sober, but it hasn't kept me from making Sturgis, touring the American Southwest on two wheels, or attending a lot of good parties and runs over the years!

Fourth, and a recent addition to my own tool-kit, is using on-line friends like the ones I've found here. We share E,S & H, and BS about bikes and other stuff, and that helps a lot. It's almost as good as having the guys hangin' out in your garage, and you don't have to clean up the ashtrays and empty soda cans afterwards!


I'm gonna share one war story with you, because it marked a big turning point in my sobriety. It was early on and, because there weren't many sober riders in town, I'd been running with a lot of earthling bikers. On Thanksgiving Day, I was over at this cat's trailer rewiring his shovelhead for him, while he was inside getting loaded and watching the game. At half-time, he came out, leaned on his porch railing, and said "Y'know, Bill, you'd be alright if you just drank."

It was one of those crystal-clear moments. There I am, giving up my holiday to work on his bike, and I'm not "alright" because I'm not self-destructing anymore? I looked at him and said "I'm alright just the way I am," gathered my tools and went for a ride.

That was 25 years ago, and I don't know if that ol' boy ever got his bike running again, but he did me a huge favor, in a way, because he put my recovery in perspective for me. I'm alright just the way I am. That's not something I could have said about myself when I was out there drinkin' and druggin', but as a member of AA, clean and sober and working the Steps, it's the truest statement in the world. I am alright, just the way I am, and anyone who doesn't accept that is not my friend.

Hang in there, Jeano. The snow's gonna melt, you'll be back in the wind, and you'll find out you can stay sober doing it!

*Alcoholics Anonymous 4th Edition, pages 101-103

[BillJ]

BTW, where in Massachusetts? I lived in Lenox, briefly, and got busted in Stockbridge - one of the many "adventures" that helped me decide I needed to sober up!

[Jeano]

I'm in western Worcester county, right on the snow belt.

I like what everyone has said; helps me realize that I do need to get a sponsor, work my steps and stay in the day. I will go on line looking for sober riders in my area. My husband is an active drinker so we may be doing separate rides, who knows. We're only planning on hitting one rally this year (in TN) which will only be a long weekend so that shouldn't be too bad. I will definitely be looking up the area AA meetings though. I've seen the Christian riders at practically every event I've ever attended and plan to ask them for some help too.

I just love the AA community! I really need everyone's support.
Thanks.

[Gooch]

Originally Posted by Jeano

I have met a few sober riders at meetings but they're (how do I say this nicely) new generation.

How do you do it?

well geez jeano .. somebody has to help those new generation guys get edumacated lol you sound like just the guy to do it.


Don't worry about looking for them. just ask the big biker to help you travel the right roads and they'll find you. At least thats what has happened to me over the years.

Check your private messages.

[recoveringnky]

Originally Posted by Jeano

My husband is an active drinker so we may be doing separate rides, who knows. We're only planning on hitting one rally this year (in TN) which will only be a long weekend so that shouldn't be too bad. I will definitely be looking up the area AA meetings though. I've seen the Christian riders at practically every event I've ever attended and plan to ask them for some help too.

I just love the AA community! I really need everyone's support.
Thanks.

Hey Jeano. My husband is an active drinker as well. So, anytime you want to share, feel free to post something or you can send a private message to me and I'll be glad to listen and share with you my ESH on that topic anytime. Life on my bike these past two years of sobriety have been the best ever...whether he's sober and with me or if I'm going solo with other sober people.

I just love the AA community as well. No matter where you go to a meeting or chat online, you'll find a good group of people who care about you no matter what!!

By the way, which rally are you hitting in TN?

[soberroadking]

Originally Posted by Jeano

Hi everyone. I'm 4 1/2 months sober and new to this site. I'm glad I found it. Don't know any sober bikers and I'm really worried about staying sober when it's riding season again. Living in Massachusetts, I won't have to worry about it any time soon (got 10" of snow yesterday) but I'm already thinking about it. Been doing the pub crawl 20 years now and it's all I know. All my riding buds drink. I have met a few sober riders at meetings but they're (how do I say this nicely) new generation.

How do you do it?

HI,
I normally don't post here and normally don't try to pimp my own website on other people's message boards but this may be 1 occasion where it may be helpful. I have web / e-mail addresses for over 80 C/S motorcycle clubs / organizations. I am not familliar with Mass, however I am sure you can find something in my list of clubs which may be able to help. http://southernsoberbiker.tripod.com go to the C/S motorcycle organizations page and see if you can find one near you. BTW, when I got sober almost 20yrs ago, I was basically a wanna be punk type honda rider. I am now a PH in a sober club and have learned the old ways. Don't give up on the younger crowd, we all had to get educated at some point.

[Jeano]

Originally Posted by recoveringnky

By the way, which rally are you hitting in TN?

The Skullbone Bike Rally in Skullbone, TN. We have friends who just moved to TN so we thought what better excuse for a road trip!

Thanks to all who replied. I'm feeling better about it now.

[Rarly Harley]

Jeano: I also come from the land of ice and snow and lived in bars for 20 years. I had to let go of the old gang and go shopping in AA. I found a lot of sober veterans to ride with, just had to seek them out.