The Proper Equipment

[phoenix]

There are piles of suggestions in the program.We get them in program literature,we get them at meetings,and we get them from sponsers,friends, and from higher powers.However,they are only suggestions.This is mainly because all one has to do to get an addict to refuse to do something is to tell him that he must do it.

The program suggests "Don't use,go to meetings,and ask for help."It also suggests staying away from old using friends and places.It suggests putting off any big relationship changes for the first year.And it suggests praying,meditating,using a sponsor,using the telephone,getting involved in service work,and working the Twelve Steps.True,they are only suggestions.However,as one program brother put it,"The program suggestions are like the word "Pull" on a parachute's D-ring.It's only a suggestion,but if you don't take it,you better come up with another answer fast."

From Yesterday's Tomorrow
Daily Meditations for Hard Cases
Barry L.

[jr95Tstorm]

Thanks for sharin this phoenix... Hit the nail on the head for me about the sugggestions... Eventually the way I took my sponser's suggestions were as "You better damn well do what I'm tellin ya!" That's just the way he was. A no bs kinda of person. Which was just what I needed and still do... Lord knows there are times I won't call me on my ****, but I know he would.

[msmattie]

Thanks for this post Phoenix.
My sponsor had me look the definition of the word "suggestion" up in the dictionary. It staed simply, " a gentle command." Seems to fit right in with what you posted.
In His Love,
Mattie

I thought it was good enough to dust off and show again.

[Gooch]

It Is !

My sponsor knows how well shoulds and betters go over with me so he says " When you get a chance sometime you might want to look at such and such..." one of those "implied suggestions" he made was to see how many times the word "must" shows up in the literature.

although I naturally procastinatead a bit, i started to pay more attention when I was reading. Turns out that knowledge for me it was a "must have"!

[BillJ]

Originally Posted by Gooch

My sponsor knows how well shoulds and betters go over with me so he says " When you get a chance sometime you might want to look at such and such..."

It might be the alcoholic in me, or the Irish rebel, or both, but I tend to balk at orders, too. Hence, I was drawn to a sponsor who led by example, and quietly but firmly nudged me in the direction of the steps and literature. He was the man I wanted to grow up to be like - loving, honest, and gentle - and he was a true believer in the power of this program to salvage ruined lives like mine.

I know some folks respond really well to the "kick butt, take names" type of sponsor, but for me that could have been dangerous, and quite possibly fatal. I might have rebelled my way right out the doors of AA, and back into my disease.

I am forever grateful that I had the sponsor I did. His guidance gave me a firm foundation in steps, service, and traditions, that has helped keep me clean and sober for the past 27 years. I haven't outgrown the need for a sponsor, either, and when I seek out a new one, as I had to do just recently, I continue to be drawn to gentle mentors like my original sponsor.

Gentle is good. The heavy hand does not work for everybody, for a variety of reasons.

[Shadow3]

One of the things that I had to learn as a sponsor and as I had to search out getting a new sponsor for myself is: "Thank God, everybody is his/her own individual! Everybody does pretty much the same thing (at least stay dry & most that I know even stay SOBER), but that we all do it our own way (Thereby the individuality). I found my "now" sponsor to be the softer-gentler type, and that is ok for today. My former sponsor was surely a kick my a s type and that is what I needed to keep me long enough to receive the miracle of this program.
Thank you for sharing with me and allowing me to share with you. I suppose I will have to introduce myself real soon now that I have posted something in here. (I do have a tendency to procrastinate, but I will get to it.eventually) Later, Jean - SC is Shadow3. Have a wonderful day, don't pick up the drink and I promise you won't get drunk.

[Gooch]

Welcome Jean! Keep coming back.