Bermuda Triangle

[msmattie]

This is the time of year I refer to as my Bermuda Triangle.
You know...November through April. These months have always been the peak of my reign of terror with drink and drug.
I've been keeping myself busy with daily meetings, my sponsor and step work, AA/NA marathons and events, and work.
I just hate the fact that I vascilate back and forth between being grateful for exactly where I'm at today....where I was ( thank God that is still fresh in my mind ), and fear of the affect these next few months will have on me. Then there's this sick part of my mind that actually lingers in my thoughts about what I think I'm missing at the old haunts. I think most of us go there from time to time. My sponsor says its normal, just thoughts. No problem unless I act out on them...and then, she gives me homework. I'm not a spiritual giant today...I've exhausted myself spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Sleep and eating habits are suffering, kinda throwing me off my square. So, I'm making sure I pay attention to that. I'm not trying to whine here, I don't think this is a self-pity thing as much as a fear thing. Or maybe this disease is just messing with me. I don't know, maybe a little of both. My sponsor and other women in my network tell me to keep talking and get it out so it loses its power. We're only sick as our secrets, right? Whew! Glad I spit that out...Mattie

[phoenix]

The long winter months wreak havoc with me too.It has always astonished me that people settled in this country back before central air was available.With so many other options,WTH were they thinking????

It's especially difficult now,being injured and relying on others.I dread the thought of ice and snow.It would really bite to slip and fall with an already shattered collarbone!

I gotta try to keep it in today.It's hard...but I gotta do it as much as possible.And I gotta stay focused on the things I can do, while at the same time making darn sure I don't slip into Wonder Woman mode.Accepting help is hard but I'm getting a lot better at it these days...lol.

I spent most of yesterday with friends,and had dinner with them.It was an awwwwesome moment when this big ol' biker brother of mine,a former hardcore club member,graciously offered to cut up my pork chop and made sure to dish up everything for me.I am not used to being treated so kindly,and I have been overwhelmed by the love and support I have been experiencing

I'm glad you got this out Mattie.This is the first holiday season since my boy's dad died in February.I try not to dwell on it,but I also want to honor his memory and keep him close in our hearts for my boy's sake.We'll make it,one small step forward at a time

phoenix

[Gooch]

seems like November through March are the moody months. probably something to do with the lack of sunshine vitamins interferng wth our endorphin factories. I know the last few years havent been as bad as some that I hibernated through early on. good time to catch up on reading, knitting, oil painting and whatever else we can do to keep our mind off teh antartic conditions.

[msmattie]

Guess I need to be patient with myself...living a whole new life today. This will be my first holiday season with out my children as they now live with thier father. Good has come out of it...I'm learning to live with it, hell, just plain learning how to live, and take care of myself. It hurts sometimes, but, its life on life's terms.

Speaking of hobbies....God is really kewl! I've been pulling out the needlepoint and cross stitch at work when it gets slow. A dear lady I work with brought in an antique needlepoint stand for me tonight, one of the free standing ones I've been wishing for ....... after I thanked her...I thanked Him.

Kinda trippy! All I know is I suddenly feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude.
In His Love,
Mattie

[BillJ]

The winter months are when it finally gets tolerable to ride here in Texas. May through October the temps are in the 90s and 100s, with humidity to match! Here it is, the last day of November, and the temps will be in the high 60s or low 70s. No hibernation for us!

Which also explains the condition of our motorcycles. No long winter months spent chroming, painting and polishing, so true Texas bikes tend to get a little ratty-looking after a few years on the road.

But the holidays tend to be tough on folks in recovery. Either they're not with family and friends they want to be with, and filled with remorse for that, or else they feel pressured to be with family that drives 'em crazy, and wishing like hell they could be somewhere else!

My family is scattered across the country, from coast to coast. We each found a part of the country we liked, or fit in, and that's where we settled. From Washington to New Hampshire, from Arizona to Virginia, from Texas to Nebraska... As a result, we don't spend holidays together very often.

In early recovery I created my own holiday traditions, centered around my AA family. There was always a holiday celebration at one of the meeting houses, and I'd bake a couple pumpkin pies to contribute to the feast. I might go for a ride with some sober friends, or hole up in meetings for the day, or just hang out in the "half-measures" room and visit with folks.

That formula worked for years, no matter where I lived. Big city or small town, we alkies need that fellowship.

Now my wife and I take the Thanksgiving weekend as our own private mini-vacation. Our wedding anniversary is November 20th, so the long weekend makes a nice anniversary celebration.

Then we spend Christmas Eve with her family in San Antonio, an hour and a half away. Christmas Day is our time at home, opening gifts and just being together, or having a few friends in for dinner.

New Year's Eve is usually pretty lo-key. We might have dinner with friends, or just hang out and watch a movie. However, every New Year's Day we have a party at our house - a mix of program, work and music friends for a pot-luck dinner, games and songs. I go for my traditional New Year's Day motorcycle ride (to make sure the new year starts off properly!) and we make phone-calls to our families.

And there's always meetings.

[Gooch]

Stop it allready! Your making me wanna look up U haul and check prices.. lol

And don't forget the bugs are 3 times the size in Tx cuz they got a longer feeding season. Know what you mean bout 60's and 70's being the ideal riding temps.. Thats my favorite part of NY them sumer months.. highs in the 90's and lows around 50 at night.. the sweetest rides I can remember start in the morning and end at 3 am.