relasped again h

[trio313]

on 2/20/09 had 72 days & losy it all.went away for a little vacation had meetings planned out I thought a sober one out of the crew. but I f***** up again. going home soon on the 1 and plan on hitting meetings right away. do some people never learn? just venting abit. got hurt abit er room & everything . got painkillers from hospital. tricked local doc to give me perc's & valuims. now have so called sober pushing me to renew scripts everyone here drinks smokes or uses somekind of meds. leaving wed. I hope to get back on track. good to share here at sr

[toad]

Welcome back trio. They say we don't have to start over.........we just start again. I relapsed for years, and each and every one of them brought me just that much closer to surrender. My last relapse was April 20th 1997. A day I will never forget. I got pissed, and decided to get drunk for one night only. I had 10 months clean and sober, longest stretch I had ever had. That one night turned into another and another and another. Took me 17 months to get back. The way I look at it today is different. I look at it with gratitude. I am grateful for that relapse, it helped me make a major decision about which way I wanted to live........It took every drink, every toke, every line, every bump, every shot, every pill, and every lie to get me to where I am today........."I do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it........I understand how my experiences can be of benefit to others" (paraphrased from the AA promises).

Thanks for sharing and being honest trio........you have helped me stay sober today.

[Hurricane]

I Don't believe you lose your sober days, you earned them, they are still yours, they don't go in a trash can. The important thing is to get back on track.
ODAT !

[toad]

How you doing trio?

[mywifeisatpeace]

Originally Posted by Hurricane

I Don't believe you lose your sober days, you earned them, they are still yours, they don't go in a trash can. The important thing is to get back on track.
ODAT !

you are correct. the time still counts. kinda like if you bake a cake and take it out before it's done...you put it back and continue till you get it right. but the time spent is still there. not lost.

[trio313]

thanks for all the good advice & encouragement. the things I miss the most is tge honesty here & at meetings. the lying deception trichery amost the people out of the rooms is the worst. im going to start praying talking to God everything that was helping me before.day one in the bank thanks to a higher power & you people at sr. just started with a sponsor before havn't spoken or texted in 72 days. what do I say I ducked u 72 days what's up?

[mywifeisatpeace]

just say the truth. the disease got the best of you for a bit, but now you are kicking it's arse again. and speaking about praying to god... check this song out. it is an oldie from the 70's but the message is the same.

YouTube - Speak to the Sky - Rick Springfield

[Jazzed_N_AZ]

Originally Posted by trio313

.... what do I say I ducked u 72 days what's up?

Yep...that's what I would say, because that's the truth! (Step-10)

During every one of my relapses that is exactly what I would do. I would duck everyone I knew in recovery so I could use in peace, (so I thought).

But recovery is a funny thing. Once we start recovery, once the seed is planted, we can never use the same again.:wtf2 Using will be different because now we know there is an option. We have learned that we don't have to pick up and ingest a substance to deal with life anymore, even when we think we want to. Even when life seems to be taking a dump on our Corn Flakes.

We realize also, that we tend to kick our own arse without the use of drugs/alcohol. Using always gave me something else to kick my own arse about.

What the program has taught me is that even that doesn't have to continue. We learn to face the truth of life with truth/honesty. We learn to forgive ourselves first so that we can live, God already said we may.