"Out of Nothing"

[The_Hammer]

I remember coming into the program really feeling scared and alone. Desperation had driven me to a place I had never been before, a bottom where a power greater than myself could finally deal with me. What I did not bargain for was exactly what I received, serenity and peace beyond imagination, a dwelling place.

In grad school at Grace University, I was taught a doctrinal idea called; "Ex Nihilo", which is Latin for; "out of nothing". Ex Nihilo is the idea that God created all the universe from nothing, or from scratch if you will. The whole idea is very universal if you think about it, God really likes to start from scratch in all His dealings. As an alcoholic, I had to be bankrupt mentally, emotionally and spiritually to have a foundation from which God could build upon within myself. I had to abandon any idea that I; as a human being had anything of use for God, I was a blank slate or a void, by choice no less! Throwing out all of myself to start anew was a huge step for me, but started something quite beautiful, literally speaking; "out of nothing, came everything."

With 5 years of sobriety, on Easter Day, I was full of love and brimming with life. I had been reading the Easter story in my Bible and was literally overcome with gratitude and love for my HP, whom I choose to call Jesus Christ. I had been amazed to find so many parallels with Easter. Jesus had risen from the grave Himself to offer us a new life, life eternal! It was Spring and all the grass was green, the trees were budding with leaves and the air was fresh from new fallen rain. But even more than this, was the miracle that occurred at 4:05PM, my precious daughter; Jordan Diane was born. I could not have had a more Earth moving spiritual awakening on that gorgeous Easter Sunday, than if all the planets were aligned and lightening had driven my arse into the ground like a tent-peg. I had truly come full circle, and now, not only had the promises from the Big Book come to fruition in me, but a whole new life, "out of nothing" had sprung from me yet again, like the tiny cornstalks spiking green and tender from the fields just outside my door, or the small rabbits I saw hopping around in the yard.

Nowhere is it more true than with this alcoholic, that God had created everything fresh and new-Out of Nothing. Ex Nihilo. For this, I am grateful.

[toad]

"We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength." (Bill W. 12X12 page 21)

Amen to everything you wrote Hammer.........."Keep coming back"