Beagle, the Readers Digest edition... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

The_Hammer · 01-10-2009, 08:04 AM

I met a guy named Beagle when I was a baby, say 1963...my Pa had a buddy that tooled leather as a paying hobby. Pa would go to the dudes place and take me with him. The leather dude's son was in his early teens, we called him Tigger later on in life, because he had a prominent chin, like the cartoon Winnie the Pooh tiger. Tigger had a buddy we all called Beagle. Tigger and Beagle really liked me, but not till I turned about 5 or 6. The two older guys were 18 and Beagle enlisted in the USAF and shipped out to East Asia. I loved Beagle and until he came back from Nam and got a job at the Fremont Power Plant, I never saw him again.

As a matter of fact, Beagle had been with the power plant for 10 years before I ran into him again in 1984. Beagle came home from Nam just before the conflict officially ended in November of 1974, some say not till 1975, but the troops began moving out about 11/1974. Beagle and I became fast friends once again. We drank a lot, rode a lot, drugged a lot and worked just as much. When we were not at our jobs, we were together and had any number of projects going in the shop and a beer/joint close at hand. So many were the experiences that we had, that I think it would be more of a joke to go into any of them here; it simply would not do justice to the friendship. In march of 1995, Beagle was diagnosed with Melanoma cancer. He had a tumor the size of a goose egg removed from his right shoulder along with all his lymph nodes. Beag went into remission for 13 years. When I sobered up in February of 1998, Beagle stood by my side, every step of the way, when most of the scooter folk I hung with bailed out on me.

A month ago, brother Beagle started having headaches, headaches that wouldn't go away. After a week of progressively worsening headaches, Beagle finally goes to the VA to have them looked at. Cancer, back in a big way. They found a massive tumor, 5 cm by 3 cm, located deep in his head; inoperable and wrapped around his carotid artery too. Long story short, I have not left his side for the last week, running him to the VA, hangin out with him at home; takin care of his farm with my son chipping in when he can.

I quit prayin for him to get better, I had to. I know my HP can cure him if that's in the cards. I just know there's a reason I don't understand that this is happening. Kimberly, Beag's wife agrees. We don't talk about him dyin, we don't talk like he's gonna live forever either. We are thankful for any day God gives us with our brother/husband. We pray for God's will and the power to carry it out. We would like you all to do the same. I have lost a lot of important people in my life over the last few years, man 'o live, the lessons I have HAD to learn.

It's all the cycle of life, Kharma, whatever suits you to call it. I say only the good die young, cripes, I'll probably live forever..

Love ya all.

**Rowan** · 01-10-2009, 08:09 AM

How eloquently put. Thanks for sharing some of Beagle here.

sticker · 01-10-2009, 12:24 PM

My life long best friend passed away from cancer a little after I celebrated my 1st yr clean. He was quite ill when I got clean but was more concerned about how i was doing then about being sick. I thank the program of NA for giving me the ability to drop the macho Bull..before he passed I was able to tell him how much I loved him, how much his friendship meant to me. for the first time in our life he saw tears in my eyes. 3 months later I watched him let out his last breath..he was free from pain and suffering.
I am so grateful to have had him in my life..a lot of people never know that kind of true friendship and brotherhood, I'm glad you know that blessing too hammer.

Fulldresser4 · 01-10-2009, 12:58 PM

Hammer, my brother....you, your family, Beagle's family, you will all be in my prayers. You write, as Rowan put it, so eloquently. I pray to someday have that same gift that you have. I love ya brother, and there's nothing you can do about it. May God's grace and mercy be enough for us.

The_Hammer · 01-10-2009, 01:05 PM

Jazzed_N_AZ · 01-10-2009, 04:48 PM

Hammer, I haven't cried for someone else in a while...thanks for sharing that love you and Beagle shared, with me/us.

The_Hammer · 01-10-2009, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jazzed_N_MD

Hammer, I haven't cried for someone else in a while...thanks for sharing that love you and Beagle shared, with me/us.

Yea brother Jazzed. This brother has that effect on folk. He is loved by everyone whom he touched in his life, and that is a whole lotta folk, scooter and otherwise. Beagle is salt of the earth scooter folk. I am definitely partial, but he really is a special, special brother. I can't read my HPs mind, I don't know why he chose Beagle to go home now, He has His reasons, and I aint qualified to second guess Him. He leaves behind a month old Grandson, and a wonderful woman he calls his wife, Kimberly. I was there when they married, standin for the bro. I am truly honored to have been called friend and brother by this man. All the tears are dry now and I got Kim and Beagles back. I will be there and be strong for them when they need me. It's all I can do. It tears me up inside to see this once hearty man disintegrate before my eyes. The Viet Cong couldn't kill this banty rooster and now this damned disease has him by the shorthairs. He beat it once, maybe he can do it again. I don't know. I don't know a damned thing but that I love him and his wife. He is my best brother, and always will be.

recoveringnky · 01-10-2009, 08:03 PM

Jimmy:
You know I'm still praying for all concerned. I really appreciate your sharing about Beagle with us. I love you my brother.....we are all here for you!!
GREAT BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!
Kym

The_Hammer · 01-12-2009, 01:05 PM

An attempt at a biopsy on Friday was unsuccessful. They tried to go through the brothers nose but ended up quittin before they hurt him. Today, they will schedule another attempt to do the surgery with a CT scanner to guide their eyes. They need to find out exactly what kind of cancer the tumor is to better treat it.

We continue to watch, wait and pray.

Fulldresser4 · 01-12-2009, 01:15 PM

And we continue to pray for you and yours, and Beagle and his.
We love you...

The_Hammer · 01-12-2009, 05:10 PM

Beagle recovers in his room after the failed Biopsy attempt:

toad · 01-12-2009, 05:30 PM

Praying for your friend Jimmy

BillJ · 01-12-2009, 08:23 PM

It'd sure be nice if HP would explain himself every now and then, wouldn't it?

Prayers up for the Beagle, Kimberly, and the family. As always, prayers up for you, too, brother.

The_Hammer · 01-13-2009, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillJ

It'd sure be nice if HP would explain himself every now and then, wouldn't it?

Prayers up for the Beagle, Kimberly, and the family. As always, prayers up for you, too, brother.

Right back atcha my brother, I pray for you as often as I think of you, and that is quite frequent!

For those of you following this thread-no word from the VA on the reschedule of the biopsy as of 1/12/09 1700 hrs.

kakell · 01-13-2009, 08:03 AM

Prayers for Beagle and his family and friends. I work for a neuro-oncologist and I see some of the most amazing things that have no explaination. This will work out in a way that you cannot explain but you will know is something divine. God Bless !!

recoveringnky · 01-13-2009, 07:51 PM

Still prayin' Jimmy! Keep us posted as you can!
Love and hugs,
Kym

The_Hammer · 01-15-2009, 02:42 PM

Still no call from Beagle, I will call him this evening. I have been under the weather since last night; flu or something, achy all over, no appetite.

The_Hammer · 01-17-2009, 07:06 AM

Spoke with the dog as he gagged down some vittles this AM. Again, no word on the biopsy, BUT, they wanna talk with him on the 21st of this month, this Wednesday at noon. I am so nervous, ya couldn't drive a straightpin up me arse with a jackhammer.

The_Hammer · 01-17-2009, 08:23 AM

I thought it good to let you all know how the family appreciates your prayerful support.

Also, I want you all to know how grateful I am to have had Beagle these last 13 years that he's been blessed with remission. My HP is truly an awesome HP. BEagle and I:

Celebrated more than 12 birthdays together, belly button and otherwise.

Road untold miles to more places than I care to mention here, each one an incredible adventure of laughs, awe, tears, fears, wonder and all the other things that make us bikers.

Had each others back.

loved one another.

Lived life on life's terms.

Lived life.

Loved life.

What a ride it's been. Maybe I will be blessed with more with him, I don't know, all I got is today and for this I am more grateful than words could possibly say. I surrendered my friend long ago, now I gotta put him back in God's hands where he is safe and without pain.

Hey, we'll saddle the nags again and ride forever on the other side, what more could ya ask for?

Fulldresser4 · 01-19-2009, 09:15 AM

Jimmy,

Any word yet?

The_Hammer · 01-19-2009, 10:51 AM

Well, it seems they have started Beagle on 60mgs. of morphine twice a day, not time released, straight morphine sulphate. I'll let all in here that care to, guess what that means. A week-plus and no word on ant method of treatment and enough morphine to wreck three people.

sticker · 01-19-2009, 01:21 PM

sorry to hear that brother..hope all involved are able to find peace and comfort in these times of trial. you all are in my thoughts and prayer

BillJ · 01-19-2009, 04:54 PM

Prayers continue, Jimmy. If the medics can't help him, maybe they can at least spare him the worst of the pain. Small mercy in a merciless situation.

recoveringnky · 01-20-2009, 06:32 AM

Still on my knees for you and all concerned. Love you my brother!
Hugs,
Kym

Jazzed_N_AZ · 01-20-2009, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Hammer

Well, it seems they have started Beagle on 60mgs. of morphine twice a day, not time released, straight morphine sulphate. I'll let all in here that care to, guess what that means. A week-plus and no word on ant method of treatment and enough morphine to wreck three people.

Yeah, we know.
My prayers are for his contentment
and for your (all of you) strength through this.

01-10-2009, 08:04 AM	#1 (permalink)
The_Hammer Guest Join Date: May 2006 Location: Fremont, NE Posts: 813	Beagle, the Readers Digest edition... I met a guy named Beagle when I was a baby, say 1963...my Pa had a buddy that tooled leather as a paying hobby. Pa would go to the dudes place and take me with him. The leather dude's son was in his early teens, we called him Tigger later on in life, because he had a prominent chin, like the cartoon Winnie the Pooh tiger. Tigger had a buddy we all called Beagle. Tigger and Beagle really liked me, but not till I turned about 5 or 6. The two older guys were 18 and Beagle enlisted in the USAF and shipped out to East Asia. I loved Beagle and until he came back from Nam and got a job at the Fremont Power Plant, I never saw him again. As a matter of fact, Beagle had been with the power plant for 10 years before I ran into him again in 1984. Beagle came home from Nam just before the conflict officially ended in November of 1974, some say not till 1975, but the troops began moving out about 11/1974. Beagle and I became fast friends once again. We drank a lot, rode a lot, drugged a lot and worked just as much. When we were not at our jobs, we were together and had any number of projects going in the shop and a beer/joint close at hand. So many were the experiences that we had, that I think it would be more of a joke to go into any of them here; it simply would not do justice to the friendship. In march of 1995, Beagle was diagnosed with Melanoma cancer. He had a tumor the size of a goose egg removed from his right shoulder along with all his lymph nodes. Beag went into remission for 13 years. When I sobered up in February of 1998, Beagle stood by my side, every step of the way, when most of the scooter folk I hung with bailed out on me. A month ago, brother Beagle started having headaches, headaches that wouldn't go away. After a week of progressively worsening headaches, Beagle finally goes to the VA to have them looked at. Cancer, back in a big way. They found a massive tumor, 5 cm by 3 cm, located deep in his head; inoperable and wrapped around his carotid artery too. Long story short, I have not left his side for the last week, running him to the VA, hangin out with him at home; takin care of his farm with my son chipping in when he can. I quit prayin for him to get better, I had to. I know my HP can cure him if that's in the cards. I just know there's a reason I don't understand that this is happening. Kimberly, Beag's wife agrees. We don't talk about him dyin, we don't talk like he's gonna live forever either. We are thankful for any day God gives us with our brother/husband. We pray for God's will and the power to carry it out. We would like you all to do the same. I have lost a lot of important people in my life over the last few years, man 'o live, the lessons I have HAD to learn. It's all the cycle of life, Kharma, whatever suits you to call it. I say only the good die young, cripes, I'll probably live forever.. Love ya all.

01-10-2009, 08:09 AM	#2 (permalink)
Rowan Social Network Moderator Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 11,973	How eloquently put. Thanks for sharing some of Beagle here. __________________

01-10-2009, 12:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
sticker Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Saint Peter MN Posts: 159	My life long best friend passed away from cancer a little after I celebrated my 1st yr clean. He was quite ill when I got clean but was more concerned about how i was doing then about being sick. I thank the program of NA for giving me the ability to drop the macho Bull..before he passed I was able to tell him how much I loved him, how much his friendship meant to me. for the first time in our life he saw tears in my eyes. 3 months later I watched him let out his last breath..he was free from pain and suffering. I am so grateful to have had him in my life..a lot of people never know that kind of true friendship and brotherhood, I'm glad you know that blessing too hammer. __________________ Untill in desperation..we sought help frome each other

01-10-2009, 12:58 PM	#4 (permalink)
Fulldresser4 Fulldresser4 Join Date: May 2007 Location: Mid-Michigan Posts: 528	Hammer, my brother....you, your family, Beagle's family, you will all be in my prayers. You write, as Rowan put it, so eloquently. I pray to someday have that same gift that you have. I love ya brother, and there's nothing you can do about it. May God's grace and mercy be enough for us. __________________ Patience is passion tamed... --Lyman Abbott

01-10-2009, 01:05 PM	#5 (permalink)
The_Hammer Guest Join Date: May 2006 Location: Fremont, NE Posts: 813	Beagle

01-10-2009, 04:48 PM	#6 (permalink)
Jazzed_N_AZ Biker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: In the West Valley, AZ. Posts: 486	Release...ya never know Hammer, I haven't cried for someone else in a while...thanks for sharing that love you and Beagle shared, with me/us. __________________ Mykl (aka-Jazz) SRMC-Club When you feel it, you will know! Last edited by Jazzed_N_AZ; 01-10-2009 at 04:49 PM. Reason: spell check

01-10-2009, 08:03 PM	#8 (permalink)
recoveringnky Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: The beautiful mountains of Kentucky Posts: 668	Jimmy: You know I'm still praying for all concerned. I really appreciate your sharing about Beagle with us. I love you my brother.....we are all here for you!! GREAT BIG HUGS!!!!!!!! Kym __________________ Kym P. Keeping it Simple Life is too short for drama & petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

01-12-2009, 01:05 PM	#9 (permalink)
The_Hammer Guest Join Date: May 2006 Location: Fremont, NE Posts: 813	An attempt at a biopsy on Friday was unsuccessful. They tried to go through the brothers nose but ended up quittin before they hurt him. Today, they will schedule another attempt to do the surgery with a CT scanner to guide their eyes. They need to find out exactly what kind of cancer the tumor is to better treat it. We continue to watch, wait and pray.

01-12-2009, 01:15 PM	#10 (permalink)
Fulldresser4 Fulldresser4 Join Date: May 2007 Location: Mid-Michigan Posts: 528	And we continue to pray for you and yours, and Beagle and his. We love you... __________________ Patience is passion tamed... --Lyman Abbott

01-12-2009, 05:10 PM	#11 (permalink)
The_Hammer Guest Join Date: May 2006 Location: Fremont, NE Posts: 813	Beagle at Biopsy Beagle recovers in his room after the failed Biopsy attempt:

01-12-2009, 05:30 PM	#12 (permalink)
toad Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: mountain grove, missouri Posts: 1,273	Praying for your friend Jimmy __________________ Tet Vet PGR member 2007 Road King Classic 96 C.I. Six-speed Vivid black "Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes." Ralph Waldo Emerson

01-12-2009, 08:23 PM	#13 (permalink)
BillJ Casual Hero and Raconteur Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Austin, TX, USA Posts: 1,148	It'd sure be nice if HP would explain himself every now and then, wouldn't it? Prayers up for the Beagle, Kimberly, and the family. As always, prayers up for you, too, brother. __________________ Bill J. from Austin Rigid rat shovel (AKA "The Bitch") Ratted-out Evo FLT (AKA "The Bagger") The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom, and I'm trying to get there as fast as I can!

01-13-2009, 08:03 AM	#15 (permalink)
kakell Enough is Enough Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Ohio Posts: 22 Blog Entries: 4	Prayers for Beagle and his family and friends. I work for a neuro-oncologist and I see some of the most amazing things that have no explaination. This will work out in a way that you cannot explain but you will know is something divine. God Bless !!

01-13-2009, 07:51 PM	#16 (permalink)
recoveringnky Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: The beautiful mountains of Kentucky Posts: 668	Still prayin' Jimmy! Keep us posted as you can! Love and hugs, Kym __________________ Kym P. Keeping it Simple Life is too short for drama & petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

01-15-2009, 02:42 PM	#17 (permalink)
The_Hammer Guest Join Date: May 2006 Location: Fremont, NE Posts: 813	Still no call from Beagle, I will call him this evening. I have been under the weather since last night; flu or something, achy all over, no appetite.

01-17-2009, 07:06 AM	#18 (permalink)
The_Hammer Guest Join Date: May 2006 Location: Fremont, NE Posts: 813	Spoke with the dog as he gagged down some vittles this AM. Again, no word on the biopsy, BUT, they wanna talk with him on the 21st of this month, this Wednesday at noon. I am so nervous, ya couldn't drive a straightpin up me arse with a jackhammer.

01-17-2009, 08:23 AM	#19 (permalink)
The_Hammer Guest Join Date: May 2006 Location: Fremont, NE Posts: 813	I thought it good to let you all know how the family appreciates your prayerful support. Also, I want you all to know how grateful I am to have had Beagle these last 13 years that he's been blessed with remission. My HP is truly an awesome HP. BEagle and I: Celebrated more than 12 birthdays together, belly button and otherwise. Road untold miles to more places than I care to mention here, each one an incredible adventure of laughs, awe, tears, fears, wonder and all the other things that make us bikers. Had each others back. loved one another. Lived life on life's terms. Lived life. Loved life. What a ride it's been. Maybe I will be blessed with more with him, I don't know, all I got is today and for this I am more grateful than words could possibly say. I surrendered my friend long ago, now I gotta put him back in God's hands where he is safe and without pain. Hey, we'll saddle the nags again and ride forever on the other side, what more could ya ask for?

01-19-2009, 09:15 AM	#20 (permalink)
Fulldresser4 Fulldresser4 Join Date: May 2007 Location: Mid-Michigan Posts: 528	Jimmy, Any word yet? __________________ Patience is passion tamed... --Lyman Abbott

01-19-2009, 10:51 AM	#21 (permalink)
The_Hammer Guest Join Date: May 2006 Location: Fremont, NE Posts: 813	Well, it seems they have started Beagle on 60mgs. of morphine twice a day, not time released, straight morphine sulphate. I'll let all in here that care to, guess what that means. A week-plus and no word on ant method of treatment and enough morphine to wreck three people.

01-19-2009, 01:21 PM	#22 (permalink)
sticker Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Saint Peter MN Posts: 159	sorry to hear that brother..hope all involved are able to find peace and comfort in these times of trial. you all are in my thoughts and prayer __________________ Untill in desperation..we sought help frome each other

01-19-2009, 04:54 PM	#23 (permalink)
BillJ Casual Hero and Raconteur Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Austin, TX, USA Posts: 1,148	Prayers continue, Jimmy. If the medics can't help him, maybe they can at least spare him the worst of the pain. Small mercy in a merciless situation. __________________ Bill J. from Austin Rigid rat shovel (AKA "The Bitch") Ratted-out Evo FLT (AKA "The Bagger") The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom, and I'm trying to get there as fast as I can!

01-20-2009, 06:32 AM	#24 (permalink)
recoveringnky Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: The beautiful mountains of Kentucky Posts: 668	Still on my knees for you and all concerned. Love you my brother! Hugs, Kym __________________ Kym P. Keeping it Simple Life is too short for drama & petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

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