Leaning on the Fellowship...Hard

[The_Hammer]

To All at Bikers in Recovery;

I just wanted to take a minute to thank everyone for their patience with me. I have leaned heavily on all my resources in the program lately, out of the need to survive. Most of you know that the las couple of months have been difficult for me. Many losses and many gains. Drunks hate change, it just isn't in our nature.

In April, I was so close to death without realizing it that I was shocked to hear my sawbone say the words; "You're dying." That with the surgery and the close calls there were, it had been overwhelming enough. I called my sponsor three or four times a day, made 3 meetings a day real often and always at least 1 and hung out on Bikers in Recovery everyday too. So, unfortunately yall were the recipients of a lot of my troubles.

So how do you thank agroup of folks that saved your life? I don;t know. Ya just say; "Thanks." That's all. Like this program, it's real simple, but not so easy, cheap, but not free. I am humbly at your service, any thing at all that I can do for you all is the least that I can do. You must know that I am in prayer for all of you all of the time. I think of each of you and all your prayers and sharing of your ESH that you gave to me so freely and I am moved beyond what I am able to explain. What a special group of folks in a special program sharing a common bond. I will never ever lose touch of the grace you all have shown me and my family. All whom love me wish to thank you as well.

Without you, I would not have made it this far.

[suki44883]

Well, I'm not a biker, but I have been reading your posts. I've prayed for you and your family, too. You sound to me like your head is in the right place. Just hang in there and keep doing what you're doing. We're behind you 100%!

[Rarly Harley]

That's just what we do Jimmy....The day will come in God's time, when you will be doing it for someone else...

Love Ya,

[toad]

Here's a KIS for you Jimmy.............Keep it simple.............I will keep it simple, you have helped me more than you know. Thanks for being here for me. Don't make me come up north and get you so we can see Kym in person !!!

Last year Bill threatened to tie you up in his trailer and haul your butt to Indiana. this still can be done.....................love you my brother.

[Jazzed_N_MD]

Originally Posted by The_Hammer

To All at Bikers in Recovery;



So how do you thank a group of folks that saved your life? Ya just say; "Thanks"...That's all. Like this program, it's real simple, but not so easy, cheap, but not free. I am humbly at your service, any thing at all that I can do for you all is the least that I can do. You must know that I am in prayer for all of you all of the time. I think of each of you and all your prayers and sharing of your ESH that you gave to me so freely and I am moved beyond what I am able to explain. What a special group of folks in a special program sharing a common bond. I will never ever lose touch of the grace you all have shown me and my family. All whom love me wish to thank you as well.

Without you, I would not have made it this far.

Geez,
here I was always thinking you were savin my life with your ESH.

What an honor to find that it's a two-way street.

[BillJ]

Originally Posted by toad

Last year Bill threatened to tie you up in his trailer and haul your butt to Indiana. this still can be done.....................

I still have the trailer, too!

[The_Hammer]

I have been quiet about this out of respect, but I want you all to know that there may be a slight chance that I can make it! It is looking as if I maybe returned to full duty at work very, very soon. Of course, bills come first.

[recoveringnky]

Woo hoo hoo!!

:

[BillJ]

Originally Posted by The_Hammer

there may be a slight chance that I can make it!

Hope you can, brother. Wouldn't be the same without you!

[The_Hammer]

Someone out there is prayin for me. I got one step closer to RFL '08 today. I spoke to the mortgage company and they told me that since we are in chapter 13, I need to stay within 60 days of current before they will send my mortgage to the legal department. So, I make a payment on the 20th and I am ok, for now. I am going to try and get caught all the way though. I have the smaller one to get caught up too. One day at a time. I seem to be on the mend, a day at a time.

[Rarly Harley]

Originally Posted by The_Hammer

One day at a time, I seem to be on the mend, a day at a time.

That's all any of us have Jimmy...., based on the maintenance of our spiritual condition...

[The_Hammer]

Originally Posted by Rarly Harley

That's all any of us have Jimmy...., based on the maintenance of our spiritual condition...

The reasonI headed the last post was that I wanted to say how much I wanted to see you this year. If I get to go anywhere at all. I had it in my mind to hang out with you, or at least I am torn between going up to see you and RFL 08. God knows what I need, all I know is what I want. ya dig?

[Rarly Harley]

Originally Posted by The_Hammer

The reasonI headed the last post was that I wanted to say how much I wanted to see you this year. If I get to go anywhere at all. I had it in my mind to hang out with you, or at least I am torn between going up to see you and RFL 08. God knows what I need, all I know is what I want. ya dig?

Who woulda thunk that a couple of weasel-hoppers like you and me, would connect in AA and be able to tell each other..." I love you Bro..."
I can remember descending on the bar, back in the day, with the skull & crossed pistons on and we would be snarlin' at the patrons and kissin' each other, but that was all show (at least on my part), designed to freak out the citizens...LOL. Today, I can honestly tell someone that I love them and I know what love really is. Thank God for the miracles of sobriety in AA.....

[Jazzed_N_MD]

Originally Posted by Rarly Harley

Who woulda thunk that a couple of weasel-hoppers like you and me, would connect in AA and be able to tell each other..." I love you Bro..."
I can remember descending on the bar, back in the day, with the skull & crossed pistons on and we would be snarlin' at the patrons and kissin' each other, but that was all show (at least on my part), designed to freak out the citizens...LOL. Today, I can honestly tell someone that I love them and I know what love really is. Thank God for the miracles of sobriety in AA.....

Aint it grand that we live our lives now instead of doin life!?! Aint it grand that our Brothers go beyond "the call of duty" and that we have Sisters as well!!?!

A different picture is on my "clothing" now but I recognize the one you discribed. Mine was different but the meaning was the same, so were some of my actions, (shock value). With this new life, I dont intend to shock society but when citizens see me, they are shocked at the results Gods work has done. Only because they either dont know God or they are unaware that I do. (Pre-Judgemental)

One step at a time, I am trying to make at least a day (or Two) at RFL this year. Today is a road test & UA for a new job driving. Better $, no weekends.

[The_Hammer]

Originally Posted by Rarly Harley

Who woulda thunk that a couple of weasel-hoppers like you and me, would connect in AA and be able to tell each other..." I love you Bro..."
I can remember descending on the bar, back in the day, with the skull & crossed pistons on and we would be snarlin' at the patrons and kissin' each other, but that was all show (at least on my part), designed to freak out the citizens...LOL. Today, I can honestly tell someone that I love them and I know what love really is. Thank God for the miracles of sobriety in AA.....

What's more is that today, I don't have to be the "baddest of the bad". I can be ok with myself and happy to be alive as well as love without a condition.

[recoveringnky]

Originally Posted by The_Hammer

...... as well as love without a condition.

I am so grateful for that today....grateful that I can love and be loved without any conditions....to love and be loved because of who I am and who "you" are and no other reason......it's so freeing!!

Love and hugs,
Kym

[BillJ]

Originally Posted by Jazzed_N_MD

I am trying to make at least a day (or Two) at RFL this year. Today is a road test & UA for a new job driving. Better $, no weekends.

Good luck on the job - wouldn't that be grand after all the worry a few months ago?

And extra good luck on RFL. Be great to finally meet you!

[The_Hammer]

I am prayin for ya Jazzed-got your back with prayer all the time. It boils down to the promises of this program yet again, huh? I mean, what if God were NOT doing for us what we were NOT able to do for ourselves? Where would we be then? Me? I'd have no reason to stick around-I'd be drunk by this evening, poundin the bar or steering wheel or handlebars, headed for my death. Plain and simple, the promises are at work in our lives. If Rar and Jesse and the other OT'ers didn't have what I wanted and was willing to go to any length to get it, stick a fork in me, I'm done. Cuz then I have no program.

[Jazzed_N_MD]

Originally Posted by Jazzed_N_MD

One step at a time, I am trying to make at least a day (or Two) at RFL this year. Today is a road test & UA for a new job driving. Better $, no weekends.

Jeez,...The road test was a days work with the boss in the truck!!!

I did get the job but only drove the straight trucks and forklifts. No U/A, no T-T, and I didn't get to start the direct deposit paperwork. We just got busy!!

Kinda like the old days, "Try me out for a day, if ya don't like my work, let me go. Ifn ya do, pay me for what I've done. If ya want me back, hire me on". Well, I got hired on!!

Thanks for the prayers family, I know they worked!

Next step, catch up on some bills.

[BillJ]

Originally Posted by Jazzed_N_MD

I got hired on!!

Great news, Jazzed! Now tell 'em you need time off in August!