gifts of recovery - pillion on a 3%ers harley

[quendrida]

went for a ride out on a friend's harley last week, he's a member of the 3% club and 25yrs sober ! the stop for coffee wasn't so great lol he got out of me that i was considering starting a relationship with another AA member im only 8mths into recovery ! ( and the guy i fancy is only 6 months !) i might have thought this man had his own motives for putting me off but ive known him a very long time he is a good mentor ! it wasnt worth the risk ! i was of course furious so he wasn't asked in for coffee after the ride ! but a day later as it all sunk in i knew what to do - the right thing and not my self will !!!

so now i am letting go !!! well trying to and having a healthy distance from the guy i fancy ! hopefully the crush will subside ! he might find someone else he might not but i cannot risk my recovery at this stage ! especially as i had so many issues with men before ! we are sure to be back to being just friends in a few months after all the feelings subside.

a harley shop is opening down the road ! walking distance form my house. I am particullarly fond of Buells, i may even try to get a part time job there ! how cool would that be ! i've got the BUELL tshirt i can wear ! few years left on my bann so wont be getting a new bike anytime soon ! sold my bike (cbr600f) couple of months ago now ....

ok got to dash my son is pestering me to play ...

[Jazzed_N_MD]

Glad you took the time to think before you made your final decision. Now, have you an amends to make to your long time friend?

Not trying to be you sponser or take you inventory but I'll bet he would have loved that cup of coffee after ya'lls ride.

Where I came from the Fellowships had a saying, "We don't initiate any major changes within our first year." Just corking the jug is major change enough, let alone the natural changes that come with that, (people, places and things).


For many, the relationship in steps 2, 3 & 11 need room and attention. I personally have seen people dissapear from the rooms, only to return saying what a mistake it was. Not all of them relasped either.

For me, I knew that I had to be worthy of the commitment first. For in a relationship not only do you count on another person to be there for you, that same other person is counting on you to do the same. I had to have enough in the 'bank' to be able to spend it (freely) and still have enough left over for my own life.

As I continue to become more and more capable of loving and forgiving myself for being human,
the God I understand places wonderful people in my life, especially for me.
I have a rather large circle of friends (compared to my early days in recovery), a smaller network,
a best friend

and a spouse.

Let go, let God and do the steps. You'll be amazed befor you are halfway through.

[quendrida]

yes ! we laugh about it today ! my biker friend ( whom i've known for 20 years since i was 19 ! ) have spoken nearly every day since . . he has said he will remind me of that ride out in a few years, because he won't forget it ! i was furious on the way back he said he could feel it ! he has also recomended a sponsor ive been looking for one for a long time ! i havent been albe to get to the womens meetings cause i have my son on those days, and not many women to ask in the other rooms i go to - im meeting her next week. I have seen people dissapear from the rooms with relationships NEVER to return !!! i was nearly one of them ! i've stepped up my meetings on the nights and days i dont have my son and i am atending at the least 4 meetings a week now ! feels much better, and i have defferred my Masters till september to concentrate on recovery. I'll be a year sober on 23rd sept 08, so i can go back to my MA then.

thinking about my primary purpose ! and remembering the second part of step one . . im not just poweless over alcohol but MY LIFE HAD BECOME UNMANAGEABLE !

8 months sill way too soon to take the relationship step - for me i reccon 2 years would be a good foundation

i love my AA network ! and i do have a best AA friend, i consider myself extremely lucky