The Ring

[The_Hammer]

I can get myself worked up over about anything if my mental and spiritual health isn't right. As people and people alone, we all have people, places and things that mean something to us. The filters that we apply (not tryin to sound like the psycho-babbler) to those things are of a spiritual nature if you're in a program of recovery that requires action on our part.

Sometime over the course of the weeks since the surgery, I misplace my wedding ring. Now, not only does that bother me, but it puts my wife in a pretty grumpy mood. I gained a lot of weight since the 6th surgery and I took it off before I had to have it cut off. The ring will show up as we ready the house for the market. Until then, I will have to pretend it's there.

Somethings are missing with me that I am havin trouble finding as well. But with each new day comes an new opportunity to grow, be who I was meant to be. Until then, I'll jus pretend theyr're there.

[recoveringnky]

I love ya my brother!!


Keep on keepin' on!!

Big, big, hugs,
Kym

[toad]

Originally Posted by The_Hammer

The ring will show up as we ready the house for the market. Until then, I will have to pretend it's there.

Somethings are missing with me that I am havin trouble finding as well. But with each new day comes an new opportunity to grow, be who I was meant to be. Until then, I'll jus pretend theyr're there.

"Fake it till you make it"

Sometimes I have to just accept things I don't understand. Even if I don't believe in them.

In 1983 I was doing time at Leeds Farm, a KC municipal corrections facility. It probably housed about 300-400 inmates. The last thing my wife said to me before she and several others had me arrested was "You need spiritual help."

About the second day there they announced over the intercom that there was a movie to be shown in the visiting room. I had nothing to do so I went. The movie was a Christian flick about end times, and man was it lousy. After the movie this black guard named Smith (Smitty) got up and gave testamoney about how Jesus Christ had changed his life. Smitty started talking about his eyes and how his eyesight had been restored. As he pulled off his thick pop bottle glasses, the tears began to flow as he talked of his Savior. I saw something in Smitty that was missing in myself, and I wanted it. For him to have the strength to get up in front of several thugs and cry was beyond me. I wanted the kind of balls that Smitty had. They passed out Bibles after the flick and I managed to get one. Almost got into a fight getting it. I wanted what Smitty had.

I remember reading starting at the New Testament. Some of what I read I just could not bring myself to believe. No way Jose! After all I was a vietnam vet, college graduate (Assoicate Degree), with a year and a half more college, I was a hip, slick and cool person who played in a R-n-R band, I was an alcoholic addict who could survive in the world, and I knew that I knew it all. So this Jesus stuff just didn't make sense. But still, I wanted the strength that Smitty had. Sooooooo.......as I read.......I lied to myself and said I believed it. I was faking it. Little did I know that what I was doing was softening my heart. As I continued to read something was changing in my spirit. Each day as I read my spirit began to see past the page to the spiritual nature, the essence, of the Word of God, and of Jesus Christ, the Father, and the Holy Ghost.

What initally started out as a fake turned into love. God was doing for me what I could not do for myself.

After 90 days I was released, having read the Bible through almost two times, I knew that I would never drink or use again. I couldn't get a ride home on my release date, so I called a buddy who showed up with a six-pack and a joint. Before we were out the gate, the joint was lit. And I just knew that I would never drink or use again.....How wrong I was.

It took 15 more years in and out of AA and church to finally pull everything together and work a program.........I don't want to go back to the way it was.

Jimmy, when you spoke of pretending, it reminded me of the greated pretending I ever did, and the fruit that was produced by it.

I pray daily for you my brother.........hope to see you in august.

[best]

I understand the feeling about the ring and it will show up but the thoughts that go along with it...could just buy a replacement. A replacement isn't the same. An emotional tie that can feel like a spiritual tie because of what the ring represents... Well you understand.
Jimmy
Replacing our bad habits won't feel the same either but it sure does feel better.
A new life. A rebirth. A do over. Second chance(or second hundred chance).
We can fit into the chance we have been given and we do find it is a good fit.
The miracle will happen again. You know it will and I know it will. You do your part and God will do His part.

[The_Hammer]

Right on. The Ring is connected with all the rest of this stuff...funny, awe inspiring, how God speaks when ya shut up long enough to listen.

[Rarly Harley]

Originally Posted by The_Hammer

Somethings are missing with me that I am havin trouble finding as well. But with each new day comes an new opportunity to grow, be who I was meant to be. Until then, I'll jus pretend theyr're there.

" Trust in Him when dark thoughts assail thee,
Trust in Him when thy faith is small,
Trust in Him when simply to Trust,
Is the hardest thing of all...".

God will fill the holes as they appear, my Brother. I'm proud of you....

[The_Hammer]

I feel like a big lump of clay on God's potting wheel. The pressure of His hands tear me up mostlybut in theend, if Iremain honest open and willing, I will become a useful vessel. A thing of beauty.