Wanna drink

[lilbit]

Summer is coming and all I wanna do is drunk my brains out...in some crappy bar....and smoke till my teeth hurt and my stomach is on fire. I want to do every and all drugs. I want to just pretend I'm hopeless...and never quit. Or maybe have a relapse...but blame someone for it...I can pick anyone..it won't matter. I want...I want.....I want....

But I wont. Cause I'm an addict and an alcoholic. And I made a choice to quit everyday...every morning...every night. It's hard now....but I remember when it was HARDER to quit...seemed impossiable...and that was a low place to be.

So...I'll get ready for bed. I'll let my dog out to poop. Put my kids in their beds...and a big bear hug to my husband....let the damn dog back in!

Wake up tomorrow...and do it all over again. I am as dedicated as I can be right now. I am a powerful addict....and a soldier in the was against the shitey disease.

LOVE YOU ALL!!!!
The Bitz...
STAY SOBER...it's free today...and the booze and drugs are gonna cost WAAAAAAY more! Like death....and we all need good soldiers in this battle...ONE DAY AT A TIME!

[Fulldresser4]

And how long do you have clean? If I may ask?

[Rarly Harley]

That's how I do it too, LilBit.....One day at a time. I still have days where the best I can do is to get to my knees at the end of it, then crawl into bed sober. Not as many, but I stll get em' 18 years into recovery....

[lilbit]

Seems like forever after yesterday.
Well..folkes here it goes.
I have always been an addict.
I have always been an alky.
I will still be one today....but I'm simply NOT using.
I have a sponser and she has ooodles of years under her belt.
I take it ONE DAY AT A TIME.
I don't remember when I last used.
I'm burrying THAT part of me...the active addict...but just for today...cause it's the only day I have any control over.
I am now a powerful addict and the numbers don't change that.
Sooo...infact...I'm a veteran to the disease and a newbie to life.
Everyday is a challenge. And everyday is a delight. I'm a child in the eyes of my Lord going through life on LIFE'S terms. Trying hard to be all that I can be and reaching out to others along the way. I lead by example...and make adjustments along the ride.
I hope that gives me some props in yer club here....cause it's all I got fer now.
STAY SOBER my brothas and sistas...just fer today...all day....ONE DAY AT A TIME!

[Rarly Harley]

Originally Posted by lilbit

I don't remember when I last used.
I'm burrying THAT part of me...

Lilbit: You belong here if'n you say you belong here. That's that. From the short time you have been here, I can tell that you are serious about your recovery. Might I make a suggestion however...? One of the most important tools in recovery that I have found, is to name and claim your sobriety date and hang on to it, one day at a time, also remembering what happened the last time you drank or used. In A.A., we have an expression that goes " If you don't remember your last drunk, you haven't had it yet..." This is not something to use to compare lengths of recovery, but to have your own personal sobriety date etched into your brain, along with the memory of your last drunk. A very powerfull tool to help you stay sober one more day.....

[BillJ]

My original sponsor always gave his sobriety date when he spoke in meetings. In West Texas, where he sobered up, the sentiment was that if you don't give a sobriety date, it's because you don't have one.

I'm very grateful for that practice. I had a lot of brief enthusiasms during my drinking and drugging days - things that were gonna "fix" me - but I never stuck with any of them. It was important to me, early in sobriety, to know that AA worked over the long haul. People who gave their sobriety dates were carrying that message to me in a very concrete way.

I think that's why, once I got serious about staying sober, I gravitated to my sponsor's home group, where there were men who'd been sober almost as long as I'd been alive. In fact, my sponsor, with "only" eleven years sober, was the youngster of that group! Obviously, AA could work over the long haul, and those guys were willing to show me how.

[lilbit]

Well....goody for you!
Hey....whatever works to quit drinking...just for today.
I'm not a badge kinda girrley. No metals on my chest. Lot's of scars.
I just have my attitude about drinking and drugging....and it's all new to you...my Addikts Anyhow recovery group...hell....it's a new idea to me too. Just couldn't STAY SOBER with the AA NA alone thing. So...go on and say I wasn't working THE program. Okay...that's cool. I just got my own system now...let's just HOPE it keeps me SOBER today...OK?
It takes all types to fight this disease.

Hope you are okay with that today.

Still SOBER and SWINGIN SLANG.....

Bless ya!

[lionsstripe]

lilbit, you just keep doing what works for you

[toad]

Originally Posted by lilbit

I am now a powerful addict

Hey lilbit...........thanks for posting and thank you for your honesty. Until I could get honest with myself I could not stay sober. I was in and out of the programs of AA and NA for 25 years before I got a 1 year chip. A lot of crap went on during that 25 years and I almost died. I still carry the scars today. Some physical and many more emotional.

You and I are different in one aspect of our recovery. It is the power thing. I am all for you having this power to carry you through each day, but for me it was a lack of power in my life. I had become powerless over alcohol and drugs and just because I stopped using didn't give me any power.....man I was defeated to the max. Meth and whiskey took me down to where I could not get up. No where to go except to AA, in 1998 I came crawling back to the same meeting I had been to for years. They loved me, did not condem me, and shared of their own experiences which I could relate to. I knew I was not different from them, I knew I was no better nor no worse than them. They told me to "keep coming back" and at that time of my life nobody was asking me back. I had burned too many bridges.

To stay sober requires a "complete psychic change." For me this has come and is still coming in a gradual and growing process. These guys here on this forum have seen me lit up with anger, resentment, and all sorts of other character defects, but you know what? Their love for the still suffering alcoholic and addict over powers all my bull sheet. Love is the most powerful force in the universe and you can find it right here with these old road dogs. They are the best bunch of sober people you might just have the opportunity to meet.........Don't go no where...........you stay right here. We need you girl.

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless........

Hey girl.........lets get you a clean date.....think back and get a close as you can..........we want to celebrate your birthday

I love you sis and there is not a damn thing you can do about it.

Toad........grateful to be clean and sober, fully clothed, and in my right mind.

[BillJ]

Originally Posted by lilbit

Well....goody for you!

I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to Rarly.

[Freedom1990]

Originally Posted by BillJ

My original sponsor always gave his sobriety date when he spoke in meetings. In West Texas, where he sobered up, the sentiment was that if you don't give a sobriety date, it's because you don't have one.

Same here in our little Kansas AA group. I've heard many of the oldtimers say if you don't have a sobriety date, chances are you're not done drinking yet!

We have a little card file we keep sobriety dates in, and last Wednesday of the month we celebrate birthdays with potluck supper and a meeting.

This month we've got birthdays from 30 days up to 9 years. It's always good food and good fellowship, and I think it's important to recognize and celebrate our progress in recovery.

[lilbit]

NEVER REALLY HAD ONE. Yes...it's a riddle of sorts. Some other big cat took the date...not his fault...just the two of us came into this world on the same day...even though there's a little bit o time between us...HE still trumps me...and thats OK.
I don't care about that kinda stuff...But I'm glad you do...so pick whatever date ya want...I'll still show up...can I wear my leather pants and fishnet top?
I like getting dressed up for a party....sometimes I even put on a bunch of make-up and do my hair...just to watch Dr. Phil drone on and on and on. Go nowhere...and my husband comes home thinkin I got it going on with the cable kid. Nah...just another bored addict filling up my to do list.

What were we writing about?

[toad]

Come on now...........get honest with me okay?

When was the last time you used or drank?

[lilbit]

I went to work today....believe it or not...I'm a massage therapist. Certified by an overpriced ashram from the North. I don't do the lacey rub and a tug either. Straight Theraputic...hot stone...yada yada yada. SWAT guy (hella cute...but bad tipper...thought they got paid well?...) came in and we talked about the three off duty cops pumpin 50 rounds into a bachlor at a strip club in New York.
The cops were aquitted today or yesturday...all I'm thinkin...there are four women out there that are REALLY pizzed off. Undercover my azz! Sounds like coverin yer azz if ya ask me. "No...honey...I LOVE YOU...I HAD TO GO TO THE STRIP CLUB AND FIND THAT PROSTITUTION RING THING OUT! It was for the good people in the state of New York!" kinda excuse.
Puuuulease!
I think the only people that should have guns at a strip club are the strippers themselves. "No...you work for this crisp glock mothafunka!" so they'd say.
Booze & Cops (undercover or whatever) & Guns and naked broads seems like a disaster waiting to happen.
Oh..that poor bachelor! I can only imagine what the fight must have been over..."NO MOTHAFUNKA...SHE STRIPPIN FOR ME!"
Whatever.
Feel sorry for the strippers that were just tryin to make a crisp 50 the hard way...Guys probably funked it all up before they cleared their stage fees....not that I would know really anything about this sort of thing...ah-hem.

So...the SWAT guy...he's a mess over the whole deal...
I'm thinkin his wife now knows the "undercover" deal ain't gonna happen under HER roof.

Boys will be boys.

Well....still SOBER...all day...just for today...one day at a time!
PEACE OUT!

[Hurricane]

Once a year I get a call from my dad wishing me a happy Sobriety B-Day.
My Mother told me the other day that dealing with my alcoholism was the hardest thing she has ever had to deal with in life.
I got sober for myself, I don't always Cary my Recovery coin, but I have learned, that sharing our birthdays is not a selfish look at me thing, it can mean a lot to family, friends, and the new comer as well.

[lilbit]

Sorry...drifted from the subject...like drunks often do....even when SOBER.
I dunno....can't remember when I last drank. Doesn't matter much to me I guess. Like I wrote...not too big on the birthday stuff. But I'll go with whatever ya come up with. This is kinda fun.
Ummm.....we could pick the date I joined here...after being thrown off the last damn site...boneheads. Miss the kidz there though.
I still smoke...and as an addict...it does count. So...I'm not totally clean....but life is a process.
I like the number 3...or 7.
Sometimes 4 is cool.
I like the summer most of all...hate the winters.
Spring is nice. Fall...I don't really care for fall. I know bikers love it....but it just reminds me everything is gonna die.

Well..there's my input....
STAY SOBER TODAY!
I am.

[Freedom1990]

I don't remember when I last used.
I'm burrying THAT part of me...the active addict...but just for today...cause it's the only day I have any control over.

I am now a powerful addict and the numbers don't change that.

Ummm.....we could pick the date I joined here...after being thrown off the last damn site...boneheads

I still smoke...and as an addict...it does count. So...I'm not totally clean....

I rest my case.

[lilbit]

I liked shouting that when they took my last baby out of my belly...scared the heck out of the doctors there...
Okay...fine...I'm contradicting myself. Got that. I'm trying to work with you here...if it's sooo important...YOU PICK THE DATE and I'll go along. I really could care less about my birthday party....but if it means the Recovering Bikers want to have a little party...hey...I'm down with that. I'm just trying to stay SOBER today..is all.
Geezey...I was also told to clean up my language so I don't offend anybody in the Biker room because kids might see it...
Isn't what I'm writing a way to promote reading? When's the last time a kid was really interested in ANYTHING you wrote? Not just you Freedom...but the others just peeking along here...PMing the big guy watching The Simpsons now and yer complaints.

So..yeah...don't really care about the date...but I'm trying to work with the gang here. Ya know...when in Rome...do as the Romans kinda thing...but no wine.

Well....there's my side.
Now WHAT?

[Rarly Harley]

[quote=lilbit;1750699]So..yeah...don't really care about the date...but I'm trying to work with the gang here. Ya know...when in Rome...do as the Romans kinda thing...but no wine. Well....there's my side.Now WHAT?/QUOTE]

Lilbit: You have been here long enough to realize that all of us are trying to help you. Alchoholics and addicts can't be fooled by bullsh*t or insincerety and you would have caught on real quick like, if'n we weren't the real deal...
Having said that, how bout' takin' off your Ginger Rogers tap dancin' shoes and name and claim your sobrietry date....? If you are gettin' the same message from all of us, God's tryin' to tell ya sometin'.....

[lilbit]

PS...Just spoke to GOD...he said "I NEVER TOLD THEM THAT! Where is my stone tablet I sent down the last time I wrote to those idiots? I just wanted 'em to LOVE each other. JESUS! Where are you?...Didn't you just tell the people on planet Earth to just LOVE each other? What am I gonna do with you humans?"
I SWEAR...THAT'S WHAT HE SAID!

[lilbit]

Yeah..got it JC...I'm writing them now.
Jesus just told me he's not opening his mouth again down here cause the last time he did the good people of Rome took the only wood they had and nailed him to it. He's said his peace.

[Rarly Harley]

Originally Posted by lilbit

Well....I'm still SOBER...just for today...all day...one day at a time...and I'll be back tomorrow if you'll still have me. LOVE...The Bitz

I love ya ta bits Bitz...Another sober day in. Just so ya know, my H.P. is J.C. too..., but ya won't see me hangin' out anywhere else but here. I'll be prayin' for you tonite, when I hit my knees before bed. If'n ya ask your H.P. for help in pickin' a sobriety date, you'll get an answer. I for one, love that you are here and I'm rock solid, dyed in the wool, hard core A.A. to tha bone. Please stay.......