Emotional pain in sobriety...

[Freedom1990]

I've already done a lot of crying this morning, and I have no doubt I will do more. Acceptance is freeing, but also very painful at times.

I don't know of any mother who doesn't have dreams for her children. I am no exception. In order to maintain any semblance of sanity, I finally let go and let God have my oldest daughter. She's been active in her alcoholism/addictions for 15 years now.

This morning, I did the same for my youngest, a beautiful 19 year old daughter.

She will soon be moving in with a full-blown alcoholic. She has been drinking far more than I suspected, which explains the insanity I have been seeing/hearing. God knows what drugs have been thrown in there too.

I knew she was dancing on the cusp of alcoholism, but had hoped some how, some way, she would pull back out.

I have had my faith tested many times before, but this is by far the most painful.

I just got done talking with my sponsor.

I have a letter to write to my youngest.

Then I must get on with my life, protect my recovery for the precious seed that it is in my hand. I will close my hand and hold it tight.

I started college classes online June 2nd, two one-semester classes in 8 weeks time. It's going to be intensive.

Thank God for AA, because it has taught me that even though I feel my heart has been ripped to shreds, even when I hurt so bad I feel like I'm going to vomit, I can keep putting one foot in front of the other and weather the storm, one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time if that is what it takes.

[harleyrunt]

Just remember they say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I kind of look at as what a former addict can get through by staying sober and not quitting or giving in makes you stronger and unconquerable" I will keep you in our prayers!!!! Remember you have a group here to help you

[Rodney]

So sorry you are going through this.
be strong and take care of yourself.
{{HUGS}}

[BillJ]

Prayers continue, DeVon. Hard to let go of kids, I know, but sometimes it can be the kick-start they need to take their own lives seriously. I know it was for me. My folks stopped bailing me out, and I slowly but surely made my way into sobriety.

[The_Hammer]

My middle Daughter is in a lot of trouble in her life, as is my oldest Son. I have done all I can for them, now I have to step back, it's time for them to fly. It frickin hurts to see them suffer and know that I didn't cause it and I can't cure it, only the HP can. and will if He is sought by them as we sought Him and found Him.
They may never find Him, that hurts too. No parent should have to endure the pain of losing their child, but it happens. Nietchke was a nutcase, but he was right in saying; "That which does not kill me, only makes me stronger." As was mentioned above in this thread. My HP has carried me on the wings of eagles, He has scattered my enemies like chaff in the wind. And who am I, that the mightiest entity in the universe would even consider me?

I am His child.

And so are you.

[best]

I put them in God's hands but need to remember from time to time...leave them in His hands and stay out of His way. My oldest son knows where the answers are. His choice.

[RichD]

I'm sorry for your pain. My oldest son 8 12 1972, Went through similar times and grew through them. But it still hurts allot at the time.
I know it sounds like BS, but the one thing that you can do and are doing is setting and being a good example for a life clean when they are finally ready to change.
All the best, Rich