So, I went to a meeting...

[Fulldresser4]

And it was as I said in another post, a meeting at a detox/hospital in the area where I have been before. It is a true blessing seeing those that have years and years of recovery, and also seeing those that sit next to me shaking like all hell because they are only on their second day. I feel for them, I pray for them, all the while thinking how I can connive another drink. After having gone and been clean for a few days, I picked up a few pints on the way home. DUH. Wasn't enough, went to get a few more pints because DH wasn't home. Lied to him, but he figured it out when he got home. WTF? I don't get why I am so freakin' stupid!~!@ DH, who is dyslexic and would rather do anything than to write, wrote me a letter asking me for a divorce. I can't blame the man one bit. We talked and he agreed to give me one last chance. It is so wierd, I don't even know why I still pick up. Because I feel like I can get away with it? I can even gauge "the point of no return". Hello, what's wrong with this picture? I even got a phone number at the meeting, but the girl that I got it from, yeah, she and I are not EVEN alike in any way. I don't understand myself, but I DO understand what the Book says about the cunning, baffling part. I have never considered myself "smart", but I am a far cry from stupid. I am babbling now, just please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. You all will never know how much you are keeping me going.

[best]

Originally Posted by Fulldresser4

I even got a phone number at the meeting, but the girl that I got it from, yeah, she and I are not EVEN alike in any way.

Other then being alcoholics you mean?

Different can be an advantage. She does things a different way then you could maybe show you how others do it.
One thing is for sure... we all stay sober the same way.
We don't pick up that first drink...just for today.

I can say no to the first one. After the first one I have no saying what will happen.
Today I will not pick up that first one.

[Rarly Harley]

Originally Posted by Fulldresser4

It is so wierd, I don't even know why I still pick up..

FD4: The most natural thing for a practicing alchoholic to do, is to drink. The most un-natural thing for a practicing alchoholic to do is stay sober. If you keep going to meetings, eventually staying & living sober will become your norm...It won't happen overnight, but if you stick to it, the miracle will happen for you, just like it happened for all of us....

[toad]

When the pain exceeds the pleasure............we change, or we die.

I think you can do this. For myself, it took every drink, every joint, and every shot of dope to get me to the point of surrender.

I was tried and knew my life could be better.

[hjen]

What got me to face my alcoholism was my hubbys desperation as i really did not care what happened to me.That was enough to not pick up a drink until i realised that life was so much better and i was keeping sober for me and my family was benefitting.
I have a disease and it is in remission ODAAT

[Jazzed_N_MD]

Originally Posted by Rarly Harley

FD4: The most natural thing for a practicing alchoholic to do, is to drink. The most un-natural thing for a practicing alchoholic to do is stay sober. If you keep going to meetings, eventually staying & living sober will become your norm...It won't happen overnight, but if you stick to it, the miracle will happen for you, just like it happened for all of us....

In my little world, I "figured out" that the only way to break a habit was to break the habit. Well, that's all well and good for normies but I have an obsessive/compulsive desise that is incurable and fatal.

It CAN however, be arrested at some point and recovery is THEN possible.

As an addict, I now "understand" that for me to break a habit, I had to REPLACE the habit.

1).Instead of picking up a drug/drink, I picked up the phone, EVERY TIME!!!

2).Instead of calling U kno who, I called someone in recovery, EVERY TIME!!!

3).When I went out for a social gathering, it was a meeting, EVERY TIME!!!
And when I was all alone and didn't like that place, I referred back to the first three things.

After being in/around the rooms for 15 years, I completly got out of the way of recovery and have been living clean and sobering for 11+ years. I picked up my last drink 9/10/96, the day my active addiction had it's last say in my life.

I know why I kept picking up, because I thought I could control my addiction. I even bragged about it,...for a while.

Next time you go to a meeting, go with somebody. Maybe the two of you can help each other between the meeting and home. You even got somebody's number already.

Now, every # in my phone is someone in recovery,(90%)
Every person I spend time with is in recovery.
And today, when I am at home by myself, I am not alone. There is a God of my understanding with me, ALWAYS! ! !