Meeting Makers Make It

[recoveringnky]

I used to hear that saying all the time when I first came to AA: "Meeting Makers Make It". I bought it for a long time. I have an ongoing problem with my husband in that he really, really doesn't want me to go to meetings. He wants me home with him and our son. I understand that want/desire. For the longest time, I didn't really address the issue, I just went to my meetings and we would argue a little from time to time about my being gone from home. I just accepted that this was the way it was going to be. Well, circumstances have been such that for the past month and a half I've only attended one or two meetings a week where I usually attend at least 3 a week. Well, I started getting all crazy in my head. I kept trying to tell myself that I could do this and that I'd be okay. How badly I want to be that mom/wife who can stay home, help with dinner every night, help with homework every night. Thoughts started coming to my head telling me that I would be okay; I could probably just drink a little and be okay....after all, I wasn't as "far down the scale" as others. When I found myself starting to remotely believe my thoughts...I became TERRIFIED! What if....what if I do take another pill or drink another drink....what kind of mom would I be then. Anyway, last night was my home group night and it's in another town about 30-40 minutes away. My friend called me, we have been riding together in his truck for the past 3 years, and said he had to work 3rd shift and couldn't go. I KNEW that if I went home after work that I would find every excuse in the world to stay home and not get back out and go to my home group. It was about 15 degrees and snowing and I HATE being cold. So....I found a meeting in the town where I work that started at 6 and I get off at 5. I went there early. It was one of the best meetings I've been to in a long, long time. I heard EVERYTHING I needed to hear and my heart is filling up again with AA and my HP! I got to see a few lawyers that I see running around downtown and I got to see an old AA buddy that I hadn't seen in 2 years or so. It was GREAT! It was a speaker/pot luck meeting. FANTASTIC! I heard at the meeting that someone would pray "God, let you be enough for me". I loved that. So, on the way home, I prayed that prayer and asked God for the wisdom to fix this dilemma I have at home regarding meetings. Man, my heart was FULL! I got home and after our kiddo went to bed I said "Honey, I HAVE to go to meetings and I know you don't understand. I promise you that I would rather be the mom that can stay home and help out nightly, but that's just not who I am and if I could put you in my head, you'd understand". He FINALLY gets it, I think?? At least enough so that the guilt trips will stop.

I guess my whole point to all of this is that I learned that meetings are VERY important no matter how much time you have in this program. I'm glad that my Higher Power stays close to me or else who knows what would happen to me!! I'm glad I listen to others when they share and tell me how it's not any better "out there". I'm glad I have a head and heart full of AA and my HP.

I finally, finally realize the importance of the saying "Meeting Makers Make it".

Thanks for letting me share,
Kym,
the alcoholic from Kentucky!

[best]

My meetings are fellowship with others and church services.
I have found that if I go long enough without either, I start to revert back to my old ways in short time.
How ever many I need, how ever often... my balance is what I need and my balance adjusts as the need with family or the need for fellowship increases.
More with one over the other and other suffers.

Good to see you are keeping your balance.


I like that...

"God, let you be enough for me"

Goes well with...
Know God and Know peace
vs... NO God, No peace

[toad]

In August of 1996 I came back into AA again for the umpteenth time...........in April of 1997 I missed meetings for two weeks thinking that going to church probably was enough. Wouldn't you know it, I got an attitude and a resentment at some church people and went out and got drunk. Showed them didn't I?..........It took me 17 very sick months to get back to a meeting. I needed that relapse, taught me the importance of my meetings. Today I don't take them lightly, my life depends on seeing the newcomer, hearing the old-timer, setting up chairs, making coffee, and most importantly having friends and being a friend to those who understand me.

I only need one meeting a week, but I go to several because I never know which one it is.

Seven days without a meeting makes one weak.

[Rarly Harley]

Thanks for the reminder Kym. I need to stay on top of my meetings, that's for sure. And thanks Toad for the reminder that church alone is not enough. I've seen several members stop going to meetings and go to church instead. The end result is just like you described. For me, there is no recovery from alchoholism that doesn't include AA meetings. Only in meetings do I experience "the fellowship of the spirit" that has enabled to keep me sober, sane and content in my skin. I have to remain ever vigilant, because my disease wants to tell me that I am cured and don't need AA meetings. My disease is "cunning, baffling, powerfull" and keeps getting stronger every day, even though I've been continuously sober now for almost 18 years.....

[Hurricane]

I have also heard some say, "Meeting makers make it, until the first drink"
That of course, is just in reference to those who attend meetings without working the steps.
I think God, always has the answer for us if we listen.
That's what went through my head, when reading about the meeting closer to home.
I really could identify with Toad's going to church only thing.
So many other ways for me to grow in recovery, such is the case of this forum. I don't get to as many meetings as I like, and it has been a blessing.
I believe everyone has to find their own recovery schedule that works for them.

[hjen]

Kym,
i identified very strongly with your post.It would have been so easy to make my hubby happy and not go to meetings but i would hate to think what would have been the outcome.
Today at least it has improved and i am grateful

jen

[TonyB]

You know… When I was drinking and doing my thing I always felt like I needed it all. One more whatever to make me feel how I needed to feel. Today, I feel the same way about my sobriety… I need it all!
I need to go to meetings.
I need to call my sponsor.
I need to be actively working my program.
I need to work with others in recovery.
I need to be active in my church.
I need to have fellowship with other Christians.
I need to be active in ministry.
Take away any one of these things and I am doomed. Like toad said, those old attitudes will return very quickly. So I have learned that I need it all…
I guess the point of this is that I have to stay willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober today.
I’m currently deployed on my ship and we recently got to make a stop in Key West. I love going there, some great recovery down there. Anyway, while we were down there one of my shipmates and I tried to catch a meeting. We’ve been down here a thousand times so we know right where the club house is and I have a schedule in my locker. Anyway, we get to the club house and there is a sign on the door. “Meetings have been moved to X"; then it gave directions to get there. By the time we figured out where it was and made the long walk over there, there was only about 20 minutes left in the meeting. But we were not going to quit. We made it… Made a grand entrance. (We alcoholics love to make grand entrances)
After the meeting my friend was talking to someone outside and the guy said to him, “You guys are nuts for walking all the way over here from there.” Joe looked at him and said, “No we aren’t, we’re just willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober.” To me, that says it all.
When I was doing my thing, I would have no problem going to extraordinary lengths to get done, what I need to get done. Why shouldn’t I approach my sobriety in the same fashion?
I love it in the 12X12 where it says “we must grab onto sobriety with all the fervor of a drowning man reaching for a life-ring." Through the grace of God, AA has been a life-ring for me, because I was for sure in over my head.
Chief

[Jazzed_N_MD]

This is an understood topic in our house. Anytime of the day or day of the week if I say, "I'm going to a meeting", my wife just leans her head up for the kiss G'bye. If she says anything at all it's "mokay".

I am a firm believer in "an ongoing process", and "sometimes quickly / sometimes slowly". I have gone as long as 6 weeks without a meeting(have a phone) as well as the need for a day of hanging at the meeting hall.

My spouse knows that something in my life was/is a part of the change in me from "anti-" to "posi-".

She knows and understands that something helped me become the man she married and has watched me become the father and step-father that I am.

She doesn't want to replace me so she doesn't get in the way of my maintenance.
So be it once a month or twice a day, ....GET OUTTA MY WAY...I'M GOIN TO A MEETING! ! !

Here's an idea, dont brush ur teeth, take a shower, comb ur hair, or do anything "girly" for a few days and see if he likes that. We're talking fartin in public and scratchin where ever it itches yanno...

Tell him..."Baby, this is what I look like without my recovery and meetings are part of my recovery."



if nothin else, the look on his face would be worth it...:rof