Where's Rarly?

[recoveringnky]

Hey my friend, I haven't heard anything from you in a while.... what's up??

Anyone heard from Rarly???

[BillJ]

It has been a while, hasn't it?

And, as Toad and I discussed over dinner last night, we seem to have misplaced Guzzi, too.

Do we need to send out search-and-rescue teams, or just send up flares?

[recoveringnky]

Originally Posted by BillJ

It has been a while, hasn't it?

And, as Toad and I discussed over dinner last night, we seem to have misplaced Guzzi, too.

Do we need to send out search-and-rescue teams, or just send up flares?

Guzzi's been on my mind for a while now. His picture (along with many others) from RFL 07 comes up on my screen saver. I hope all is well with him!

I think we should send up flares for now.... and then go from there!!!

[Rarly Harley]

I'm concerned about Guzzi too. He hasn't answered the PM's I sent him either. I'll be sending up a prayer for him. I'm ok. The last month has been a challenge, but " All things are possible through HIM/HER who strengthens me". Thanks for askin' bout me though...I'll post more wnen the dust settles.

ILYATAADTYCDAI

[harleyrunt]

Rarly honey, glad to hear from you and know you are alright buddy!!!

[The_Hammer]

been on me mind as well.

[Rarly Harley]

I too, suffer from the illusion that my troubles are not relevant compared to some of the troubles of my Brothers and Sisters in this forum, so I will share my latest growing experience....

Starting Jan. 2nd, at work, I was tasked to lead a critical 3 week project. It was pedal to the metal the whole time. I stayed on top of my meetings, got as much sleep as I could and never deviated from my daily routine of prayer and connection with my H.P. What I didn't do was connect with my sponsor. The last week before deadline, my old character defects began surfacing. For instance: the purchasing manager cornered me while I was refuelling with my afternoon java in the main office. I told him that I was way too busy to talk to him about an issue we had. He kept pushing. Out came my " Mad Dog " persona for a rare appearance. I told him to back the f**k off and get the f**k out of my face. He did a 180 and scurried off. Not good. One more "appearance" occured with a finishing mill supervisor who got in my face. The deadline was successfully met on Jan. 24th and the inevitable emotional hangover set in....

Then my sister came for a visit from Vancouver on Jan. 31st. First time she came for a visit in about 8 years. Her visit opened up some unfinished business. My only other sibling is my brother, who also lives in Vancouver.

Some of you know my whole story, how I got sick with clinical depression in 1999 and lost my job as a result. I got into financial trouble very quickly also. I could'nt work. I had previously purchased my brother's and my sister's share in the inherited family cottage a few years before. I was out of financial options. I called them both and asked if they would buy back in, or I would have to sell it. They both were not able to help and I had to sell. My brother disowned me and my sister retreated far away. A heavy blow.

My sister and I went out to the cemetery on Feb. 1st to visit my Mom and Dad's grave and that also stirred up a lot of emotions in me. Because my sister had been away for 8 years, I had arranged a Radford Family Gathering at a country golf course restaurant. All the clan showed up and I realized that I been home for 2 years and not seen many of them. I was uncomfortable with my own family, feeling less than again, like I did when I was drinking. I spoke to my sister about my feelings and she didn't understand. She said that everyone wanted to be in my company, that I was the icon of our Family now and everyone really enjoyed my company. After that conversation, I pushed my comfort zone and went visiting with my sister for the rest of the week, getting more comfortable with it.

Additionally, I have been struggling to stay " detached in love " from my Son, his girlfriend and my grandaughter. Michael has been out of jail for a year collecting welfare. He has come to a few A.A. meetings here and there. He often calls on Saturdays, wanting Bonnie and I to invite them over for a home-cooked meal. We have done that several times. Each time, they come over, plunk down in the living room while Bonnie and I scurry about putting the meal together, so we don't get to spend time with Sadie ( my grandaughter ). As soon as supper is over, they want to be driven home and Bonnie and I are left with the mess. I have been struggling with this, not wanting to feel used, but wanting to see Sadie also. I started getting resentfull with my son, because I thought he should be doing something at least, if not recovery, at least get a job...( no warning bells went off ).

My sister left on Feb. 7th and I have been doing a personal inventory. Yesterday, I swallowed my ego and pride and my recurrent " I don't want to bother my Sponsor about my trivial stuff, I can deal with it on my own and he is too busy with his own stuff " bulls**t refrain. I spent 2 1/2 hours with my sponsor, hashing out all this emotional mess I was in.

It's funny, Randy didn't tell me anything that I already didn't know, but he was able to put it all in perspective for me, where I was not able to, by myself.

Through a little guidance from my sponsor, I am back at the spot that God would have me be. Letting go and letting God, a loving Son, daily seeking his Father's wisdom and guidance in all matters and leaving the results up to HIM.....Thank God for A.A.....( And Sponsorship ).

[toad]

Thanks Rarly for sharing. You have made me realize once again the importance of sponsorship and the daily inventory. You inspire me to continue to work a program of action, one day at a time. I too thank God for AA, the best thing that ever happened to me.............its all in the book.

[BillJ]

Love you, Rarly. Thank you for being here, and being honest to the bone.

[best]

A lot to think on.

I too, suffer from the illusion that my troubles are not relevant...

You sure had a full plate. Relevant or not it was still a full plate.(and relevant)
Glad to see you shared it. Tomorrow I may have the mess from cooking for my son. As an invited guest, the mess is part of the package. My other son who lives under this roof... Hey get off your butt and help out *LOL*

How do you like that adjustment of being pushed up into the family monarch postion? Took me a little bit to make adjustments but I am at peace with it now. I think a big part of being given the position is that people are seeing my sobriety that comes from a sober life style.
Want the job or not,... you earned it.