MyBrothers and Sisters...

[Fulldresser4]

I need help...I haven't posted for quite a while, but have been lurking every now and again. I am struggling...please pray for me and give me all the advice you have for a hard-headed drunk...

[BillJ]

I started with meetings - lots of them - and finally put the plug in the jug. Started asking a Higher Power I had no understanding of to help me stay clean and sober day after day. Stayed sober. From there I got a sponsor, and began working the Twelve Steps. Stayed sober. Started doing service work. Stayed sober. Kept attending meetings. Stayed sober. Kept trying to live the AA way of life. Stayed sober. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera... Stayed sober.

It worked for me. Still does. If I can hold on another week and a half I'll celebrate 30 years C&S. If it can work for me, I have to believe it can work for anybody. Your call.

You're in my prayers.

[sticker]

Yea what Bill said, It was the ppl in the meetings that gave me the strength to finally stop. Went to my first few meeting messed up, cuz I couldn't stop for even that one day to go check one out. There I found ppl I could relate to they kept telling me WE could do this. I was going to sometimes 3 meetings a day cuz that was the only place I could get all the crap in my head to stop for a while. Give yourself a break and go check em out with an open mind. I wish you all the best man.

[TonyB]

Meeting makers make it, as Bill said. Then Sponsor, steps.... Then you will be happy, joyous and free. Keep coming back.
TB

[toad]

For me one drink triggers the phenomenom of craving where I want another and another and another. I have had the phenomenom of craving triggered by a joint. I once had it triggered by NyQuil. When it happens I'm off and running. My last relapse on April 20, 1997 lasted 17 months, and all I wanted was one drink.

Going to meetings, having a sponsor, and reading the Big Book of AA, has educated me in the nature of my problem; so that I could with the help of God, know more about the battle and how to win. The battle ground is the mind. As long as I don't take that first sip, first toke, or do a bump, then I still have a defense against the phenemenom of craving. The Big Book says at times I might not have a defense.....share this with me..

"Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power." (page 43)

So........no matter what I do or what someone else can do, I still need to have God do for me what I could not do for myself.

I pray that you are able to make it one day at a time Fulldresser4..............hang out here inbetween meetings and share.........I need you.

[best]

Originally Posted by toad

The Big Book says at times I might not have a defense.....share this with me..

"Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power." (page 43)

I see things in this light....

White knuckle it for as long as you can and then white knuckle it for one minute more...OR...

Look outside ourself and draw on the strength of our Higher Power.

When I came to realize that my white knuckles were not strong enough to do the whole job needed. (Realized I was powerless over my condition) at that point I called out...God I can't do it, I need Your help and strength.
To this very day I am still in awe of how my life changed once I started to let go and let God.

Meetings let us know we are not alone on our journey for answers and they are a great place to gather answers at.
Working the steps that AA uses guides us to better understanding of how the answers work and help us grow.
Looking to God...Well His hands are much bigger then mine and He can handle my biggest problem as well as my smallest problem.
White knuckles or a smoother path?
I found that working smart sure is easier then working hard. Meetings do work.

[Hurricane]

When the pain became to great , I became willing to "thoroughly follow the path of others" Meetings alone never worked for me.

[Jazzed_N_AZ]

Originally Posted by BillJ

I started with meetings - lots of them - and finally put the plug in the jug. Started asking a Higher Power I had no understanding of to help me stay clean and sober day after day. Stayed sober. From there I got a sponsor, and began working the Twelve Steps. Stayed sober. Started doing service work. Stayed sober. Kept attending meetings. Stayed sober. Kept trying to live the AA way of life. Stayed sober. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera... Stayed sober.

It worked for me. Still does. If I can hold on another week and a half I'll celebrate 30 years C&S. If it can work for me, I have to believe it can work for anybody. Your call.

You're in my prayers.

Although I started with a different fellowship, I did pretty much the same thing. I also found that changing my "friends-list" and "riding routes" were a major action that worked as well. To this day, 98% of my friends are in recovery, the other 2% are usually co-workers.
As long as "God is willing and the creek dont rise",(and He always is), on my next birthday I will celebrate 12 years.
If an old drunk ass, alley lurking, crack head, biker from the inner city can surrender...Then so could I. Cause he is an addict/alcoholic just like me.
IMHO

[The_Hammer]

The bottom. When ya hit that; it triggers something inside us that says; "enough is enough." You begin to search (just like ya are now) for somethin you know has to be bigger than you (that would be A.A., the program). You start by hittin meetings of A.A. wherever and whenever it is possible, while there, get a sponsor and do what he or she says. To the letter.

"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path..,"

[harleyrunt]

I will be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. :praying

[Rarly Harley]

FD4: Put up the white flag of surrender and join us. Dive into the deep end and swim. We will be there for you. If you don't surrender 100% and join us in recovery, you will die. Simple as that. Stop making excuses and jump.....

We Love you and there ain't a darn thing you can do about it....

[Jazzed_N_AZ]

Originally Posted by Rarly Harley

FD4: Put up the white flag of surrender and join us. Dive into the deep end and swim. We will be there for you. If you don't surrender 100% and join us in recovery, you will die. Simple as that. Stop making excuses and jump.....

We Love you and there ain't a darn thing you can do about it....

My "Thanks" button dont work so....

[swmnkdinthervr]

Fulldresser4...Please keep in mind that someone is always there for you when you reach out, be it God, members of a group, your sponsor or just us scooter tramps here...there is always help if it's sought...KEEP COMING BACK!!!

[The_Hammer]

How you doin sister?

[Hurricane]

Originally Posted by Rarly Harley

FD4: Put up the white flag of surrender and join us. Dive into the deep end and swim. We will be there for you. If you don't surrender 100% and join us in recovery, you will die. Simple as that. Stop making excuses and jump.....

We Love you and there ain't a darn thing you can do about it....

Just a bump
As harsh as Rarly's words may sound, it's reality.
We lost another local this week. In and out from the tables and just never could surrender 100%. He was found in a motel room dead and only 54 years old.
I'll bet I haven't seen near the amount of addicts lost as others here have and I've seen my share.
So, It just leads me to take a moment to thank God and all of you that I am sober still today.

[toad]

Sorry to hear about the loss Hurricane. We also lost one here in the grove last week. He was 62, a vietnam vet, and ran a successful insurance business for years. Over the last ten years he would give AA a try about every six months. He could not get more than a few weeks dry.............sad...........keeps me from wanting to take that first sip.
Are you tired of winter yet Duane? I am about to freak.......32 days till spring.

Fulldresser.............you alright????

share this with me:

"Going the whole route looked too hard -- until someone said to me,
"One step at a time." So I looked ahead, along the path marked by the footprints of hope, commitment, and action. All around me were many happy, sober people who had walked that path. . . They had some magic or information, secrets or power which I lacked, but which might get me out of the fix I was in. I had to believe what I saw: that some power wiser, stronger, or greater than mine could restore me to health."


The Best Of The Grapevine [Vol. 2], pp. 136-7

[swmnkdinthervr]

People misunderstand surrender...nobody is asking that you become other than the person you are now and will grow into...surrender is the process that allows you to find self using using the tools that this program and the God of my misunderstanding has provided us with...if I could have done it alone I would never have attended a meeting or come to this forum!!!


Thanks for being here folks!


Sorry for your loss Hurricane...

[toad]

Originally Posted by swmnkdinthervr

People misunderstand surrender...nobody is asking that you become other than the person you are now and will grow into...surrender is the process that allows you to find self using using the tools that this program and the God of my misunderstanding has provided us with...if I could have done it alone I would never have attended a meeting or come to this forum!!!


Thanks for being here folks!


...

share this with me.........................

"When alcohol took me over, my bar was my kitchen, my living room, my bedroom, and the two laundry hampers. At one time the admission that I was and am an alcoholic meant shame, defeat, and failure to me. But in the light of the new understanding I have found in AA, I have been able to interpret that defeat and that failure and that shame as seeds of victory.
Because it was only through feeling defeat and feeling failure, the inability to cope with my life and with alcohol, that I was able to surrender and accept the fact that I had this disease and that I had to learn to live again without alcohol."


Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 295

[best]

surrender

I want a loaf of bread. I must surrender my dollar bill to gain it.
I am not giving away, I am exchanging.
You need to give to get.
When I surrendered what I thought was right (exchanged it) with what others told me worked for them... I gained what they found.

[Fulldresser4]

I have been lurking for the past few weeks again...My life is pretty messed up right now. Forgive the graphicness...I have been throwing up blood..I am diabetic and cholesterol and sugar is off the charts.I have been trying to "cut down"...Not working.. At work, I am dealing with a ramp up of two new plants with 1100 parts apiece. I know, not relevant...DH , I don't know if he knows, he is ADHD, I can't take it anymore, he is "not happy", DUH, neither am I..I can't even do the basics of housework anymore, I have a new schedule at work, earlier, I am soooooo tired at night I amin bed sleeping at 8 o clock. I cannot tell you how much it means to mean that you all gave a **** to check in on me...I don't know why I can't give this freakin' stuff up...All it does is make my life soooo much worse. I know I am whining, I am drinking, and I truly said this morning, I am not stopping and buying anything, but what do I do???? I SUCK!!!! I just want you all to know that you really do give me a hope..I hope I can get it before it is too late and I loose everything.

[Fulldresser4]

PLUS...When alcohol took me over, my bar was my kitchen, my living room, my bedroom, and the two laundry hampers. At one time the admission that I was and am an alcoholic meant shame, defeat, and failure to me. But in the light of the new understanding I have found in AA, I have been able to interpret that defeat and that failure and that shame as seeds of victory.
Because it was only through feeling defeat and feeling failure, the inability to cope with my life and with alcohol, that I was able to surrender and accept the fact that I had this disease and that I had to learn to live again without alcohol."

[Fulldresser4]

Plus I want that....Why can't I accept it? Can someone pm me ?

[best]

Originally Posted by Fulldresser4

Plus I want that....Why can't I accept it? Can someone pm me ?

I can't see inside your thoughts but I can know what my thoughts were.

I would say we may be the same. You can't accept it because you can't see the beauty that others see in you.
Under alcohol's control, we hide the real us. I see a wonderful person hidden under the alcohol. You will see her as well when you start on the path we are on. You are deserving of the goodness that is ahead.
Please believe me for I have seen it be so.
You can do this and you are so worth it.

[best]

Originally Posted by Fulldresser4

I cannot tell you how much it means to mean that you all gave a **** to check in on me...

Your own words should tell you that my seeing you are worth it isn't just my opinion. A whole group of scooter tramps think you are worth it.
:ghug

[Hurricane]

The first thing I did after I took my last chug of vodka was drop to my knees.
I needed my Higher Power and other drunks, I could not do it alone.
I had lost just about everything...No big deal, I was alive.
I have lost a lot of things since... No big deal, I'm still sober
Staying sober had to become top priority to me, and it still is.
Praying for you.