What is...and What should not be... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

The_Hammer · 12-19-2007, 11:38 AM

That is a question I have asked myself, my HP and my sponsor over the last 10 years. The answer, is never the same, never what we expect and certainly very clear.

Most of yall know I got on the silver bird Friday last to go give my oldest daughter to a Navy man. I got to Jacksonville about 7PM Friday Night and to my horror, my SIL to be told me Torie was just 70 miles east of St. Louis.(She was drivin her belongings in a UHaul to FL. Long story short, the wedding never went down. The SIL and I broke our ever lovin butts to make it happen and the fact of the matter is Torie was just too late gettin in. It broke her heart to pieces, and mine with it. When Torie got to the hotel room, I made myself dry up to be strong for her. I assured her I would be there in my heart (they're doin the wedding this coming Saturday. I could not arrange to stay the whole week, neither at work or otherwise, it was just impossible.), I assured her that they have my full blessing and all that mattered is their happiness.

At length, I got her to smile for me. Her smile lighted every corner of my heart. Her entire childhood, right up to that very minute rolled like an epic film in my mind and I was as full of love and joy as I had ever been in my life. So there we sat together on my bed in the Hotel, a Dad and his girl, as perfect a scenario as there ever was in my life. And in the face of what should have been a disaster by any account. We strolled the beach later on, hand-in-hand and spoke of everything, and of nothing at all. And laughed at ourselves.

A gift I had forgotten the HP had given me.

recoveringnky · 12-19-2007, 12:28 PM

Jimmy:
Thank you so much for sharing that with us! You have warmed every corner of my whole heart. As I read your words, I imagined myself sitting on that bed with my daddy and his arms around me feeling safe and loved!!! We are so blessed to be given this chance at a wonderful and sober life!!

I love you my brother!
Kym

The_Hammer · 12-19-2007, 01:24 PM

It really was a special time. I had been looking forwar to the wedding, but was given the oppportunity to receive as much as I was prepared to give away. Very, very sweet. Torie will always be my baby, even though she will belong to another man in a sense of the word.

Jazzed_N_AZ · 12-19-2007, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by recoveringnky

Jimmy:
I imagined myself sitting on that bed with my daddy and his arms around me feeling safe and loved!!!

Oh,...if you only knew how you just made me feel. Remembering doing that with my little girl when she was young and hearing her tell me about it later in life.

swmnkdinthervr · 12-20-2007, 04:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jazzed_N_MD

Oh,...if you only knew how you just made me feel. Remembering doing that with my little girl when she was young and hearing her tell me about it later in life.

I've been there...when my youngest daughter that I hadn't seen in nearly 5 years and hadn't talked to in 2 years greeted me at the airport...she was quite torn because I had to leave her mother to pursue my sobriety and remained somewhat estranged from me, (her mother passed some years later of liver failure) I was so floored/relieved by the outpouring of love that was I reduced to tears & sobs of joy!!! (visualize if you can this long haired/bearded/leather clad scooter tramp bawling in the middle of the airport) I can only say that this would never have been possible without my sobriety!!!

The_Hammer · 12-20-2007, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swmnkdinthervr

I've been there...when my youngest daughter that I hadn't seen in nearly 5 years and hadn't talked to in 2 years greeted me at the airport...she was quite torn because I had to leave her mother to pursue my sobriety and remained somewhat estranged from me, (her mother passed some years later of liver failure) I was so floored/relieved by the outpouring of love that was I reduced to tears & sobs of joy!!! (visualize if you can this long haired/bearded/leather clad scooter tramp bawling in the middle of the airport) I can only say that this would never have been possible without my sobriety!!!

I don't have to visualize it bro-it happened to me! Most of the brothers here can tell ya though, I'm as bearded, bespectacled and as road-worn as the rest of us, but damn it those little girls 'o mine can kick my ass clear to dickens house every time.
It truly is special aint it? If I had a thousand deaths to die-each one worse than the last, I'd give 'em all for my girls.

BillJ · 12-20-2007, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swmnkdinthervr

I was so floored/relieved by the outpouring of love that was I reduced to tears & sobs of joy!!! (visualize if you can this long haired/bearded/leather clad scooter tramp bawling in the middle of the airport)

Real men cry.

Rarly Harley · 12-20-2007, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillJ

Real men cry.

Yes we do and thank God.....

toad · 12-20-2007, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rarly Harley

Yes we do and thank God.....

The humbling experience of being truly sensitive, washes the soul of prideful crap that has built up.

"God will exalt the humble, and humble the exalted."

The_Hammer · 12-20-2007, 01:27 PM

I have been taught some of the most valuable lessons of my life in this program, by my failures, by my defeats, losses and by my daughters. When I was doing time in the Nebraska SP, Torie, the girl getting married this Sat. was just 5. She looked up at me on a vistation day just before Christmas in '89 and said; "Daddy, when are you coming home to stay?"

12-19-2007, 11:38 AM	#1 (permalink)
The_Hammer Guest Join Date: May 2006 Location: Fremont, NE Posts: 810	What is...and What should not be... That is a question I have asked myself, my HP and my sponsor over the last 10 years. The answer, is never the same, never what we expect and certainly very clear. Most of yall know I got on the silver bird Friday last to go give my oldest daughter to a Navy man. I got to Jacksonville about 7PM Friday Night and to my horror, my SIL to be told me Torie was just 70 miles east of St. Louis.(She was drivin her belongings in a UHaul to FL. Long story short, the wedding never went down. The SIL and I broke our ever lovin butts to make it happen and the fact of the matter is Torie was just too late gettin in. It broke her heart to pieces, and mine with it. When Torie got to the hotel room, I made myself dry up to be strong for her. I assured her I would be there in my heart (they're doin the wedding this coming Saturday. I could not arrange to stay the whole week, neither at work or otherwise, it was just impossible.), I assured her that they have my full blessing and all that mattered is their happiness. At length, I got her to smile for me. Her smile lighted every corner of my heart. Her entire childhood, right up to that very minute rolled like an epic film in my mind and I was as full of love and joy as I had ever been in my life. So there we sat together on my bed in the Hotel, a Dad and his girl, as perfect a scenario as there ever was in my life. And in the face of what should have been a disaster by any account. We strolled the beach later on, hand-in-hand and spoke of everything, and of nothing at all. And laughed at ourselves. A gift I had forgotten the HP had given me.

12-19-2007, 12:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
recoveringnky Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: The beautiful mountains of Kentucky Posts: 677	Jimmy: Thank you so much for sharing that with us! You have warmed every corner of my whole heart. As I read your words, I imagined myself sitting on that bed with my daddy and his arms around me feeling safe and loved!!! We are so blessed to be given this chance at a wonderful and sober life!! I love you my brother! Kym __________________ Kym P. Keeping it Simple Life is too short for drama & petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

12-19-2007, 01:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
The_Hammer Guest Join Date: May 2006 Location: Fremont, NE Posts: 810	It really was a special time. I had been looking forwar to the wedding, but was given the oppportunity to receive as much as I was prepared to give away. Very, very sweet. Torie will always be my baby, even though she will belong to another man in a sense of the word.

12-20-2007, 01:27 PM	#10 (permalink)
The_Hammer Guest Join Date: May 2006 Location: Fremont, NE Posts: 810	I have been taught some of the most valuable lessons of my life in this program, by my failures, by my defeats, losses and by my daughters. When I was doing time in the Nebraska SP, Torie, the girl getting married this Sat. was just 5. She looked up at me on a vistation day just before Christmas in '89 and said; "Daddy, when are you coming home to stay?"

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)