My Story

[greeneyez87]

Sorry this took so long for me to write, but my life has been pretty full lately. I really needed to slow things down and take some much deserved ME time.

I got sober at the age of 27 and turned 28 twelve days later. I spent my first birthday in treatment. It only took me 12 years of drinking to hit MY bottom. I had my first drunk at the age of 15 and my first ride on the back of a Harley at the age of 16. Married my first biker at the age of 18. By the time I was 21, I was on husband number two and pregnant. I had 3 children with that man, and it was during that time that drinking became all I thought about. Spring of 1987, started off the begining of the end for me. My husband had made me get my tubes tied (and I was dumb enough to do it) it made me incredibly sad to know that I could not have anymore, and my youngest was 1 and half at the time. Some good friends of ours just had a baby, and she was going to return to work, so I volunteered to baby sit for her. I felt that since I could have no more, I could sure love someone elses baby. Then one day I put her down to nap in my room in her cradle. I went to take my shower, opened the door to my room (the door creaks) and she didnt move, (which she always did) I walked over to her and her lips were blue. I screamed out.....I picked her up and tried to give her mouth to mouth.... screaming in between at GOD! My husband was home at the time he called 911, when I couldnt get her to breath, I ran to the front door screaming and crying at GOD...... asking him WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME....... ME of all people???? I adore children GOD..... YOU KNOW this! This was one reality I could NOT accept. She died of crib death, and at that time, I really knew nothing about it. All I knew was that I was responsible for the care of this child and now she is gone. My drinking became so out of control, day night....... couldnt even go into my bedroom anymore. I passed out on the couch every night. A month later I travelled to florida for my brothers wedding, when I got back, my husband left me for another woman. I have since thanked that woman for coming along, coz that marriage never should have been in the first place. Now, Im living for drinking, Im neglecting my childrens needs...... and am realizing that I need help, so I asked my husband to take the children till I can get better, but now, im drinking coz I feel guilty for not having them with me. A few months later and ALOT of failed attempts to quit on my own..... I finally called my Mother who was an Alanon and said I need help. She set me up with the right people and off to treatment I went. That was September 28th, 1987.
I married my 3rd husband after a year sober, a clean and sober biker who had recently started a chapter of ARM in Round Lake Ill. I needed to have them in my sober path. They understood things about me that my sponsor could not. That marriage only lasted 8 years, we moved to Texas and started a chapter down there. Things didnt work out and my husband left ARM, I didnt want that but had no choice. I left him a few months later. About a year after that I ran into the International Prez and Vice (at that time) at Bike week in Daytona and road with them all weekend. They welcomed me with open arms. I have lost touch with them over the years. But I always keep clean and sober bikers in my journey of sobriety. Its a lifestyle that will be a part of me till I die, and the awesome part is that I can do it sober and enjoy it soooooo much more!

[The_Hammer]

Good to see ya back-thanks for sharin

[Rarly Harley]

Originally Posted by greeneyez87

But I always keep clean and sober bikers in my journey of sobriety. Its a lifestyle that will be a part of me till I die, and the awesome part is that I can do it sober and enjoy it soooooo much more!

Glad you are here Greeneyez: For a 20 year birthday present, why don't you take a rider's course and get your own ride. Talk to Kym about it. We could use some more estrogen at next years' campout. Lord knows, we had no shortage of testosterone this year....LOL

[toad]

Hey Greeneyez............thanks for sharing. You are an overcomer, by the grace of the loving God of your understanding. I am inspired by your story. I especially like your signature tag.........

"I am grateful for the assholes in my life....... if they only knew how much they have helped me grow!"

That statement helps me grow. At nine years sober I am having growing pains. I love the Big Book and being involved in AA service at the district and area level, but in meetings when I experience cross talk, old-timers trying to be the only authority, and people who talk out of turn, possibly using up some new-comers time, I feel like getting up and putting 200 lbs of fist in someone's mouth..........You don't know how much you have helped me today...........thanks.......toad

[rafe]

Thank you greeneyzes, for writing alittle of ur story and sharing it with us. your experinece,strenth,and hope will help me stay sober today.God bless you all one day at a time.

[greeneyez87]

Rarely, I have been taught to drive em, and the experience was awesome! But for me, there is NOTHING better than riding behind someone and sharing it with someone as ONE. So I will stay there. But maybe I will see you there next year... Do they still do the news letter? I see your are in Canada, is Flipper still around?

Toad, Im glad it helped!! My sponsor has always taught me to turn negatives into positives, when you focus on the positive, the positive grows. When you focus on the negative, the negative grows.
I have always believed, that aa meetings are like a motor, it takes all these parts to make it run, same with meetings, it takes all different kinds of people to make it run. I NEED examples of what I dont want as well as what I want. I have lived in many states in my sobriety, and am on a journey to relocate again in the next month. Everytime I get to a new place, they run the meetings different. When I was young in sobriety, I hated that......lol..... but by focusing on the positive, the one common denominator is they are all stayinig sober one day at a time. And instead of not accepting the difference, I embrace it, because I always want to remain teachable.

[BillJ]

Originally Posted by greeneyez87

I NEED examples of what I dont want as well as what I want.

Some of my best examples in sobriety have been bad examples - the AAs I don't want to be, and the life I don't want to lead. I was inspired to work AA's Twelve Steps by two men - one long-time hangaround who wasn't working the Steps, and one long-time sober member who was - and I thank God for both of 'em!