Bummed

[recoveringnky]

Hey guys...

Just got a phone call from one of my dearest friends in the program. It breaks my heart to type these words, but he's at the hospital being admitted. He said he just decided last night to get &**^- faced. He was still drunk talking to me today at 12:15 pm. Man, my heart really hurts for him. I'm not pissed at all at him, but I am angry at this disease. And it really frightens me thinking "Man, that could be me"...scary thought.

For the past 2 years, it's been me, Martin and Jeff riding back and forth from our hometown to a favorite meeting spot which is about 30 miles away. And now, tonight, Jeff won't be riding with us. So sad. But at least he's safe and seeking help. Man, this hurts.

Anyway, please keep him in your prayers.

Peace (to him, to me and to all of us),
Kym

[BillJ]

Sorry to hear about Jeff, Kym. I've been in your shoes - angry at the disease, and how it steals away people we love, and afraid that, if it was so easy for him to slip, how safe am I?

You, Jeff, and Martin will be in my prayers.

[toad]

Relapse is part of recovery, not a requirement, but part of, that is if it happens. My last relapse was just as important to me as the day I returned to recovery. It took every drink, every shot of dope, and every toke to get me to the point of surrender. Today I am grateful for my last relapse because it helped me make up my mind to what I really wanted in life.

We will pray for your friend.......praise God he is alive......the ride ain't over yet.

[The_Hammer]

The Toad is right. We are where we're supposed to be at. I hate the school of hard-knocks. We're knotheads Kym, you know that, we gotta drag our own asses, and all of the ones we love through hell. I dunno why, it's the nature of this disease.

With Love,

Jimmy

[Rarly Harley]

Kym: Sorry to hear about Jeff. Maybe he just didn't hit his final bottom yet. Hopefully this is it. Stay strong, pray hard, go to extra meetings and talk about how mad you are at our disease. Get it out, then turn it over. It's all in God's hands anyway. We need you here Kym. You have been a boost to my recovery, that's for sure....

[best]

Was just thinking today how long it took me between my first thought of...I think I should stop... till I reached the point that I stopped and remained stopped. Lots of growth and learning between the two and then there was a lot of growth and learning between being dry and learning to live life sober.

Prayers that this be a huge learning point for him and added prayers for peace in his life and your's.

[Jazzed_N_MD]

Originally Posted by The_Hammer

The Toad is right. We are where we're supposed to be at. I hate the school of hard-knocks. We're knotheads Kym, you know that, we gotta drag our own asses, and all of the ones we love through hell. I dunno why, it's the nature of this disease.

With Love,

Jimmy

Yeah, what he said!! And today, I too am greatful for the stubborness I have. It allowed me to reach my LAST drink and helps keep me from my FIRST one.

[The_Hammer]

All this crap jus puts a tear in this raggedy ol eye. Sometimes, I just wanna scream at the Devil, hehe, tell 'im ta go to hell! What good does that do? Boils down to livin life on lifes terms, however bad they suck, an mosta the time they suck donkey dung, am I ramblin? Sorry sis.

Love Ya,

Jimmy

[TonyB]

Kym,
That's a real bummer.
But I think of it like this. It took me all those in's and out's to be able to get me where I am today. When he's "done" he'll be back.
AA has this way of screwing up a perfectly good drinking career. KWIM?
TonyB

[Astro]

That's hard Kym, I'm sure it must hurt that one of your friends is out there. I often look around the room at an AA meeting and remember that a year from now many of my Fellows might not be sitting there.

Like Hammer mentioned, every one of us is exactly where we're supposed to be. God hasn't turned his back on your friend, but he is carrying him for the moment.

The most important thing is that Jeff has a friend like you who cares. Stick with him, and know that you're making a difference in his life. We're screwed without the people who love us.

[recoveringnky]

Thanks everyone for your kind words, your ESH and your prayers.

I saw Jeff on Sunday as Martin and I went to an NA meeting at The Ridge where he is staying. He was a real mess; down on himself and that kind of thing. It made him feel good to know that we still support him should he choose to try this road again.

Tonight there is another NA meeting there and Martin and I intend to go again (even though we'll be missing our favorite AA meeting this week...he's worth it!!). There is visitation an hour before the meeting, so we'll probably go to that as well so we can all just hang out some and maybe he'll open up....or maybe not!

He will be released on Thursday and, of course, we'll be right there to pick him up and take him to a meeting that evening....should he want to go, that is.

I realize it's all on him...the ball's in his court, not mine and not Martin's...we both realize this. We will just continue to be supportive without being enablers and continue to pray.

Thanks again you all for the support. I most certainly have needed it. I must say that this is the first time I actually thought about numbing the mental pain. Thank God for Him being in my life and that I have learned enough through you all and others that I can deal with pain (life on life's terms) without being numb.

Peace and serenity,
Kym

PS By the way, it's killing me that I can't change the thread name to "Bummed". I hate it when I spell something wrong... LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TonyB]

Kym,
I'm so glad that I have people like you to rely on in the program. Otherwise I would be all over the road. Hey wait.... Is that 12 step work?....
Hugs to you Kym.
Tony

[best]

Originally Posted by recoveringnky

I realize it's all on him...the ball's in his court, not mine and not Martin's...we both realize this. Still hurts a little anyway. Letting go and putting it in God's hands does help though.


PS By the way, it's killing me that I can't change the thread name to "Bummed". I hate it when I spell something wrong... LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can't change it but I could (in part) Was able to change it on the front page. Can't change it on the top of the first post though.

[recoveringnky]

Originally Posted by best

You can't change it but I could (in part) Was able to change it on the front page. Can't change it on the top of the first post though.

Thanks Best!!!! That makes me feel better!!!

[recoveringnky]

An Update!!

Jeff got out yesterday and went with me to a meeting last night. We celebrated Martin's 4 year birthday at our home group. The speaker (which we have the last Wed of each month) was fantastic. Jeff said he got a lot out of it. He went back to work today and was greeted with enthusiasm and support! I'll just keep praying that each day brings him a little closer to his Higher Power and brings him another sober day!!

Thanks to you all so much for your prayers and comfort!!

By the way....my dad's coming over tonight to supervise as I attempt to change out the parts on my bike by myself!

Ain't sobriey a blast!!

Love, hugs and peace,
Kym

[Astro]

That's great news Kym! Glad to hear he's back and getting something from the program.

Good luck with the bike, OK??

Scott

[BillJ]

Originally Posted by recoveringnky

By the way....my dad's coming over tonight to supervise as I attempt to change out the parts on my bike by myself!

Brave lass, ain'tcha? A step at a time and you'll do fine!

Great news about Jeff, too. Prayers continue.

[Rarly Harley]

Originally Posted by recoveringnky

Ain't sobriey a blast!!Love, hugs and peace,Kym

It shore is Kym, it shore is. Good news about Jeff. Ain't that cool that you get to wrench on your ride with your Dad. Don't get much better, does it...?

[best]

Originally Posted by recoveringnky

By the way....my dad's coming over tonight to supervise as I attempt to change out the parts on my bike by myself!

Can I bring over my Nighthawk and join the fun? 1982 - 750 sitting for now. I started but stopped when I realized it would be better to take it apart fully and paint the frame correctly.


I learned how to fix the thread title on the first post as well as the front page.
Now if only bike repairs were as easy *LOL*

[recoveringnky]

Originally Posted by Rarly Harley

It shore is Kym, it shore is. Good news about Jeff. Ain't that cool that you get to wrench on your ride with your Dad. Don't get much better, does it...?

It was way cool to wrench on my bike with my dad!! The dang parts place gave me the wrong seal for hole in the crank case for which the push rod for the clutch goes through....couldn't do much, but that leaves for another visit from my dad!! (Trying to look the bright side instead of "Dang it...now it'll be another week b/f I can ride!!) LOL!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Best

Can I bring over my Nighthawk and join the fun? 1982 - 750 sitting for now. I started but stopped when I realized it would be better to take it apart fully and paint the frame correctly.


I learned how to fix the thread title on the first post as well as the front page.
Now if only bike repairs were as easy *LOL*

Sure, come on over anytime Best! Would dig havin' ya in the garage with us jammin' to some tunes, suckin' back some ice tea!!!!!!!

Peace to ya'll!
Kym

[recoveringnky]

Originally Posted by BillJ

Brave lass, ain'tcha? A step at a time and you'll do fine!

Great news about Jeff, too. Prayers continue.

I sure am learning patience right now Bill! It'll be another week before I can have the correct part and my dad's time. Oh well, it is what it is!

"And acceptance is the answer to all of my problems....."

Hope you are healin' up!!!!!!!!

Peace,
Kym