Planning/Planning the outcome...

[The_Hammer]

In High School, I had a track coach that by virtue of his win/loss record, become a legend in his own time. In Coach A's life time, he garnered 7 State championships and 4 Runner-ups, truly remarkable by anyone's standard. Coach's true talent was to mold champion athletes from young men whom at best, had mediocre talent (such was the case in myself). Coach would tell me; "Jimmy I want you to plan the outcome of your race, I want you to picture yourself breaking the tape at the finish line, I want you to see yourself on the winners podium all through the race."

Not only did this strategy work, I carried it into my life. It is a recipe for disaster for an alcoholic, it was my undoing in so many ways that today, I must ask myself if I am planning the outcome of nearly anything that I prepare myself for. I must separate preparation from outcome projection in all things. If I am planning a job at work, I need to ask myself; "If I miss this costing analysis by $2000, am I going to come apart at the seems, like in my using days?" Every girl I dated in my drinking and drugging days, I pictured in my bed, when I didn't get her there, or she saw through my phoniness, I was crushed, and drove myself lower into my disease. Being aware of this problem, and realistically setting goals, keeps me in check. I divide my ego from my heart and find that my HP is much better suited to deal with my goals than I am. As a matter of fact, if I set my sights through my HP to begin with, I am never disappointed. My Uncle, and father by custody law, once put it another way; "I never expect anything, therefore, I am never disappointed." This is a Machiavellian statement at best, and rather inappropriate for those of us in the program, but what we can say is; "My eyes are blind, but my HP can see right through my pride and set goals that are right for me.

So I plan, but I don't project. I strategize, but I don't pretend I see the outcome. I let go and let God. And keeping all this in perspective, puts me on a path toward realizing even more of the promises this program has already made truth in my life.

[Jazzed_N_AZ]

In my fantasies, I have the lotto money spent already.

In my reality, I stay clean ADAAT and "step" up to my responsibilities.
What is meant to be actually happens, go figure!


Where'd that come from?!!?

[BillJ]

Originally Posted by Jazzed_N_MD

In my fantasies, I have the lotto money spent already.

I fantasized about winning the lottery, but never bought tickets!

[The_Hammer]

Originally Posted by BillJ

I fantasized about winning the lottery, but never bought tickets!

Yup, that statement really cuts to the chase for me. Dream all ya want but the reality is you aint gonna win so there's no use spending real money on a fantasy. Kinda like **** in one hand and wish in the other and see which hand fills first.

[Fulldresser4]

Wow Jimmy, once again, exactly what I needed to hear. Brings to mind my first AA H & I meeting in detox. A young kid, wise beyond his years, said something that sticks with me seven years later. He shared this: If you give a normal person a pen with a cap on it, and tell them to take the cap off the pen, they simply will. An alcoholic, on the other hand, will ask...Where do you want me to put the cap? On the top of the pen? Next to the pen? Do I hold it? What if the pen leaks ink? What if....well, you get the picture.

Jimmy, with your permission, may I share this with my Celebrate Recovery leadership team and my AA friends? This, to me, captures the essence of the alcoholic/addict.
I would be honored if you would agree.

Humbly,

Annie

[BillJ]

Originally Posted by The_Hammer

Dream all ya want but the reality is you aint gonna win so there's no use spending real money on a fantasy.

Actually, my point was more on the order of "You cannot win if you do not play." Yeah, I might not win, and must be careful not to base my emotional sobriety on the outcome (especially about the lottery! ). However, if I don't fully participate in my life, my recovery, my relationships, etcetera - if I don't buy a ticket to my own game - then I have no chance of winning. Capiche?

[The_Hammer]

Originally Posted by Fulldresser4

Wow Jimmy, once again, exactly what I needed to hear. Brings to mind my first AA H & I meeting in detox. A young kid, wise beyond his years, said something that sticks with me seven years later. He shared this: If you give a normal person a pen with a cap on it, and tell them to take the cap off the pen, they simply will. An alcoholic, on the other hand, will ask...Where do you want me to put the cap? On the top of the pen? Next to the pen? Do I hold it? What if the pen leaks ink? What if....well, you get the picture.

Jimmy, with your permission, may I share this with my Celebrate Recovery leadership team and my AA friends? This, to me, captures the essence of the alcoholic/addict.
I would be honored if you would agree.

Humbly,

Annie

Sure. You can find most everything I said in the Big Book too. "As Bill Sees it" and "Our Devilish Alcoholic Personalities".

[The_Hammer]

Originally Posted by BillJ

Actually, my point was more on the order of "You cannot win if you do not play." Yeah, I might not win, and must be careful not to base my emotional sobriety on the outcome (especially about the lottery! ). However, if I don't fully participate in my life, my recovery, my relationships, etcetera - if I don't buy a ticket to my own game - then I have no chance of winning. Capiche?

Right. My point too! The thing with me is that my alcoholic personality wants me to plan the outcome of everything. I have to plan stuff, I gotta play to plan. But I have the tendency to think I know what's going to happen and then expect it to happen-settin myself up for a fall, big time.