thoughts

[hopeandfaith]

I am in a tough spot right now. I am/was an addict for 23 years, thought I bottomed out. Went searching for answers. All the sudden something changed, and I started looking for good and hope in everything. I became willing to help myself, and felt the presense of a higher power enter my life. For six months things got better and better, I rebuilt old friendships, and started taking care of myself.

Then all the sudden, as fast as it came, it went away. I'm gradually falling back into old habits, and while I am taking right action, I am fading into more and more wrong action.

I feel like I was lifted up, and converted into recovery, then rejected it b/c it was too good or something. I feel really hopeless right now. I know its not about willpower, but I'm no longer willing to think/feel positively like I was before.

Have you ever heard of anyone go to AA, get better, leave AA, and then the magic happen a second time? Its happened once for me, but now its gone. Please tell me the truth, that it can come back, that my willingness to help myself can come back.

[historyteach]

Hi, Hopeandfaith!
And welcome to SR!

Guy will be here to answer your concerns.
I just want to welcome you aboard.
And why not take a look at the substance abuse board or teh NA board. There will be lots of people there who understand what you're dealing with.

I stopped smoking almost sic months ago. It's been rough; and some days are better than others. Some days, I'm almost sick over the loss of my comfort stick. But, for me, it's a matter of doing the next right thing, day after day; choice after choice. Even when I want to light up.
Focus on your behaviors.
It's working for me, after 36 years of smoking....
You CAN do this...

Shalom!