relationships

[lesa]

It seems when he uses he is nicer then when he is clean ..I want him clean ..I have a quest .what is a healthy relationship???I know this is unhealthy ,he tells me what to do all the time and only works and watches tv .we never talk or realy spen time together.It is like we are roommates who sleep together..Thinks of his needs and never mine.he does use crack .now he hasn`t for maber 3 weeks.he like this when he clean for linger pd as well..HELP

[lesa]

Iam not beening dunb i j ust I knoew what a healrthy relationship is.can someone tell me.please.I begging of you

[historyteach]

Hi, Lesa;

Sorry it took a while to get to you. And thank you for your patience...

And Mark will be here to address this issue with you too.

Of course, you are NOT dumb. I wonder what a healthy relationship is myself. It seems every relationship has revolved around addiction. Heck, I was married to my ex for 24 years. His addiction to gambling started when we'd been married @ 20 years! By that time, my son was a heroin addict. So, I'm not the best to give ESH to you. I know what I don't want. It's what I want that I get confused about.

I wish you well....Please remember to stop by when Mark replies.

Shalom!

[MarkSichelCSW]

In a healthy relationship, partners are nice to each other at all times and using crack is not a part of either person's life.

[cinderellawkids]

Lesa, in my expereince my husband was nicer when using, because he was trying to amke things up to me. When he was clean but not working on recovery he was ordering me arounfd. When I began working on me and taking responsibility for myself, he started working his recovery program and even if relapsed the communication was more honest open and he was nice