Do you need Nar-Anon?

[margo]

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them as honestly as you can:

Do you find yourself making excuses, lying, or covering up for the addict in your life?

Do you have reason not to trust the addict in your life?

Is it becoming difficult for you to believe his/her explanations?

Do you lie awake worrying about the addict in your life?

Is this person missing school often without your knowledge?

Is this person missing work and the bills piling up?

Are the savings mysteriously missing?

Are the unanswered questions causing hostility and undermining your relationship or marriage?

Are you asking yourself, "What's wrong?" and "Is it my fault?"

Are your suspicions turning you into a detective and are you afraid of what you might find out?

Are normal family disagreements becoming hostile and violent?

Are you canceling social functions with vague excuses?

Are you becoming increasingly reluctant to invite friends to your home?

Is concern for your spouse, child, or friend causing you headaches, a knotty stomach, and extreme anxiety?

Is your spouse, child, or friend easily irritated by minute matters?

Does your whole life seem a nightmare?

Are you unable to discuss the situation with friends or relatives because of the embarrassment?

Are your attempts at control frustrating?

Do you over compensate and try not to make waves?

Do you keep trying to make things better and nothing helps?

Is the lifestyle of this person changing?

Do you ever think they may be using drugs?

If you have answered YES to four or more of these questions, Nar-Anon may be able to give you the answers you are looking for.

[popaid]

Okay, I think I need it. Even if he's not addicted, I'm seeing changes in both of us that I don't like. I'm hurt and confused even more easily than usually and can't get past the feeling that he is hiding things from me.

Now where do I go to find something local to me?

[Ann]

popaid

There are many meetings in the Detroit area, I will see if I can find some and get back to you. If Nar-Anon or Al-Anon are not listed in your phone book, I would siggest calling the NA or AA phone lines (look under Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous).

Congratulations on taking this big step that will help you in all areas of your life, not just dealing with an addict. 12-step can save your life, I know it saved mine.

I will send you a private message if I can locate some meeting info.

Hugs
Ann

[Ann]

Here is a Michigan list of Nar-Anon meetings. I suggest phoning to confirm that the place and time are still accurate. Good luck.

http://www.naranonmi.org/

[Mamabear]

Margo,

I found an awesome meeting. It took some shopping around. Thanks for encouraging me to keep looking.
I must admit that I don't always like hat I see when I look in the mirror but I am beginning to refocus on me. You know, my chest pain has dissipated. And I do a lot less finger pointing.
I really thank you.
Mamabear

[margo]

Hi Mamabear! I'm so happy to know that you've found a meeting that fits right for you - that is great news. And it helps me more than you might know to have helped YOU!

Much love,

Margo.

[Need Help In NC]

Hi everyone. I'm new to this experience. My husband OD'd on coke 18 days ago. I've helped him to start to get clean, but now it's my turn to get some help.

Anyone know about nar anon meetings in NC? I'll also call the worldwide services number.

[margo]

Hi Need Help, and welcome! Please make yourself at home - you've found a great place for support here. I'm sorry to hear about your husband's overdose, but glad to know he's going to be okay. It's great that you realize that you need help, too - here is the phone number for Nar-Anon World Services:

310-547-5800

Meetings are an invaluable source of support for those who have a loved one who is addicted, and you will learn how to look after yourself regardless of your husband's choices.

There are some threads called "Power Posts" at the top of this forum, and also on Al-Anon - take a read through them as there is some excellent info there for newcomers.

Keep posting!

[RedlandsGal1]

Does anyone know of a meeting location in the Inland Empire? I live in Running Springs and work in Redlands, CA. I suspect my 30 year old daughter of using drugs and want help in the direction I should take.

RedlandsGal

[zelda]

Hi, I think I need to got to a meeting since I answered yes to more than half of the questions. My question is: There are no nar anon meetings where I live just al anon are they the same?
Thanks
Zelda

[L8YNRED]

I go to alanon, there are no naranons near me either. I just put "and addiction" in everywhere they refer to "alcohol". Nobody at any of the meetings has told me I can't be there because his DOC is not alcohol. They will welcome you.

[lisam818]

Hi, I live in SC and there are not any naranon meetings in my whole state, but I go to alanon. One thing I found out is almost all alcoholics have at least one drug of choice. It is rare to find an alcoholic that doesn't at least smoke pot every once in a while. I love alanon and they even let me share about my husbands addiction. Also, alanon and naranon are really not that different because they are not focused on alcohol or drugs, they are focused on us and getting us to focus on us. Another thing I did was email naranon world services and they sent me a big envelope of pamphlets, so you might want to do that too. God bless and take care, Lisa

[TXsuzbluii]

I have got to find a Nar-Anon meeting in my area fast ... I'm losing it. I have looked in the Dallas TX area phone book and found no listings. I am in the North Dallas/Plano area. I need someone to talk to.

[prayzhymn]

:titanic I can answer yes to all the questions except one. Do you know how I can find a nar-anon meeting in baltimore md?

[Sigh]

Do you have reason not to trust the addict in your life?
Yes

Is it becoming difficult for you to believe his/her explanations?
Absolutely

Do you lie awake worrying about the addict in your life?
Oh yes

Is this person missing…….. without your knowledge?
Once for two days and I thought he was dead.

Is this person missing work and the bills piling up?
YES, in fact I’ve co-signed on his car. I’ve been making the monthly payments for a LONG time (my credit is involved here) and yesterday they call and say they want it all in a lump sum NOW. We worked out an agreement over a year ago, I’ve made every payment. They say if I don’t they will repossess the car.

Are the savings mysteriously missing?
Not mysteriously, I know where they went, fines, fees, IRS, Car, court, rehab, methadone clinic, etc. but they sure are missing. Cash is not even an option to keep in the house.

Are you asking yourself, "What's wrong?" and "Is it my fault?"
I know (now) what’s wrong, he’s on heroin. ..Is it my fault?????? Somehow?
Answer – Yes.

Are your suspicions turning you into a detective and are you afraid of what you might find out?
Yes.

Are normal family disagreements becoming hostile and violent?
No, oddly enough there is a lot of affection.

Are you canceling social functions with vague excuses?
Oh ya.

Are you becoming increasingly reluctant to invite friends to your home?
Yes.

Is concern for your spouse, child, or friend causing you headaches, a knotty stomach, and extreme anxiety?
You mean stomachs are not supposed to be in a knot and heads were not made to hurt???

Is your spouse, child, or friend easily irritated by minute matters?
Sometimes

Does your whole life seem a nightmare?
Sometimes

Are you unable to discuss the situation with friends or relatives because of the embarrassment?
Yes

Are your attempts at control frustrating?
They are not highly successful that’s for sure.

Do you over compensate and try not to make waves?
Always always always

Do you keep trying to make things better and nothing helps?
Always always always

Is the lifestyle of this person changing?
Maybe???

[mjsmonkey]

I save my husband on a daily basis and I need to get some strength. People who know what goes on say I am strong, they don't have a clue how weak I am. I am looking for meeting in the DFW Texas Area. Please help!

[kate-in]

I live near Muncie, Indiana. Please,can anyone help me with information for meeting? I can't seam to find any.
Thanks

[Sange]

Reading that made me cry. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, over and over. How did I get here? I have no blinders on when it comes to my AD, but I still wish I could run away alot....

[YodasGirl]

undefined

Originally Posted by margo

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them as honestly as you can:

Do you find yourself making excuses, lying, or covering up for the addict in your life? Yeah

Do you have reason not to trust the addict in your life? Yeah

Is it becoming difficult for you to believe his/her explanations? Oh, yeah

Do you lie awake worrying about the addict in your life? Oh, yeah

Is this person missing school often without your knowledge? n/a

Is this person missing work and the bills piling up? He hasn't worked at all for the past year.

Are the savings mysteriously missing? Not mysteriously ... I've been paying his bills, lending him money I'll never see again, I've bailed him out of jail twice ($6K, $5K) and paid his legal defense expenses ($13K).

Are the unanswered questions causing hostility and undermining your relationship or marriage? Absolutely. He's very evasive about all the wrong things

Are you asking yourself, "What's wrong?" and "Is it my fault?" No -- I know what's wrong, and I take full responsibility for the fact that I've allowed myself to stay here like this, and I take full responsibility for the fact that I am now out of money because I ahve given so much to him instead of taking care of me.

Are your suspicions turning you into a detective and are you afraid of what you might find out? I don't have to suspect. He's pretty blatant about his cocaine use.

Are normal family disagreements becoming hostile and violent? I have not even told my family about our relationship because I KNOW that if they knew I'd probably never see any of them again. His mother and I used to be very close but she has ostrich syndrome about his addiction and his usage. She swears he's not doing it in HER house!

Are you canceling social functions with vague excuses? Yeah -- but mainly because I'm too depressed to go to them, even without him.

Are you becoming increasingly reluctant to invite friends to your home? When he's here, I discourage people from coming over.

Is concern for your spouse, child, or friend causing you headaches, a knotty stomach, and extreme anxiety? Oh, yeah

Is your spouse, child, or friend easily irritated by minute matters? He flies off the handle VERY easily. He blames all his problems on others. He screams that he has nothing, even when he has been given everything.

Does your whole life seem a nightmare? Oh, yeah.

Are you unable to discuss the situation with friends or relatives because of the embarrassment? I have some friends with whom I discuss my relationship with him ... they are people I know to be either living with a drug addict, or who were formerly involved with drug addicts.

Are your attempts at control frustrating? Control???? I can't control this! It's the other way around. HE controls ME. He's very manipulative and seductive and he's real good at pushing my buttons. Most of the time, I feel like I've been sucked into some sort of SPELL.

Do you over compensate and try not to make waves? All the time.

Do you keep trying to make things better and nothing helps? All the time.

Is the lifestyle of this person changing? His doesn't seem to be, but mine certainly has.

Do you ever think they may be using drugs? I KNOW he's using drugs.

If you have answered YES to four or more of these questions, Nar-Anon may be able to give you the answers you are looking for.

[upsetsis]

My sister is a cocaine addict (although now that she is living out of the state, i'm sure she is also using other drugs), and I think I'm finally ready to admit I can't hande it anymore. Does anyone know of any nar-anon meetings in Nashville, TN? Thanks.

[kalijaskrazy]

yes yes....ugh..i am clean and sober 3 yrs now and my husband cant seem to stay clean 9 mos was longest and now he has 12 days again..but this time i know its coming again i have lost the hope that it wont happen again i am not in denial anymore and that is bringing me down though, now he is gambling too went sat night all night didnt come home didnt call..but he loves me he tells me all the time ..this is so sad do sick so pathetic...i need to take care of me...

[cmm]

I have know for years I needed help. I cannot take it anymore. How this every happened I will never know. Why do I tolerate him?

[clippedwings]

Thanks Rollercoasters! I've been pulling my hair out looking for a meeting in my area! So glad you had the link I couldn't find. does anyone know if it's usual for the meetings to offer childcare? I know, call and find out. haha It's great to be among you guys!

[barrie]

I just joined this group. I have not slept a full night in about a week since my daughter-in-law informed me of what has been going on at her home. I'm devastated and furious at my son for putting his family in jeopardy. I'm furious at him for dragging his darling children into this muck and mire. They are very close to losing their home. I can't believe this is happening.

[helpmeplease]

I need help and meetings in Houston before I lose my mind!