confused

I do not classify myself as an alcoholic but I have definately abused the substance. I realize the problem and want to correct it. The complication is my fiance is quite possibly an alcoholic (He doesnt have to drink every day and he did spend two weeks sober with my parents and had no withdrawal symptoms) but he drinks either 6 nights a week when hes bartending or if hes off hes out drinking. I have gotten him to stay home with me now a night or so and do non alcohol related activities but if I am working (I work 12 hour nights) hes out and if we stay in one night hes stir crazy by the next.
So we go out and I have two choices not drink... but then I am annoyed with him and his friends as soon as theyre drunk or drink which inevitably ends with us in a huge fight at the end of the night. Or I guess I can stay home alone which will end up with me hating him too.
Also, he likes to critize me whenever we do have fights because of my drinking.. or complain about all the money he spends when we go out... (hes 15 beers and 7 shots compared to my 2?) Its always my problem not his.
Now yes the obvious solution would be to leave; but I just dont want to do that yet. Sober we never fight and for the most part life is good; its a two week or so cycle the inevitable we have the big fight or does something really irresponsible and pisses me off then its ok.. okay this is very dysfunctional I know but I want to try to fix it if that is possible. I know I have to work on me first so any suggestions on how to not get so resentful when hes out and I am not and take it out on him or how to communicate the problems to a very hard headed stubborn always right man? All advice welcome!

[MarkSichelCSW]

I'd start with going to Al Anon meetings but it seems to me that you also need to learn to be more assertive. Your boyfriend needs help and sounds like an alcoholic who needs to get sober but is no where near getting sober. You probably have to make a choice to end it or live with it and to that degree you have to find the answer within yourself. Unless of course he's willing to live by a set of rules that works for you and that's what you need to work on. If you can figure out limits & rules it may be ok but to me it sounds like he's an addict and there's no middle ground solution. Either he gets sober or you learn to live with his drinking;' that's my thought.