anger

[lesa]

I would like to know something ,we are trying to work on are marriage Yet Iam so angry ..I can not get over the past and what he has done to me.For one when he not using he thinks he is the boss always saying stuff to hurt me.Now when he is using he just steals and whatever .I can not get past the anger so that does not help.Mabe that why he act like he does.IAm just so angery at him.what should I do ,do I end it or what .Does one ever get past the anger..Sorry to ask ..lesa

[pedagogue]

I am glad you found us. While you are waiting for Mark (and others) to respond, you might want to take a look around the forum. (Friends & Family and Nar-Anon are both great places to start.) I know this issue is a pretty common one, and there are many people here who have lived through what you are going through right now.

I hope you stick around, because I think we might be able to help.

-pedagogue

[Kahlia]

Originally Posted by lesa

I would like to know something ,we are trying to work on are marriage Yet Iam so angry ..I can not get over the past and what he has done to me.For one when he not using he thinks he is the boss always saying stuff to hurt me.Now when he is using he just steals and whatever .I can not get past the anger so that does not help.Mabe that why he act like he does.IAm just so angery at him.what should I do ,do I end it or what .Does one ever get past the anger..Sorry to ask ..lesa

Lesa-I am so very sorry that you are going through this right now. I have always said that anger comes from HURT. You NEVER just get angry...something hurts you and then you let it simmer and then you get mad. You can get past the anger by going to your own meetings, getting some counseling and venting your feelings here. I was plenty mad for about 3 years!!! FAMILY..........AHHHHHHHHHHHH......I hope you look around the boards and keep on posting...we are hearing you......Kahlia

[MarkSichelCSW]

Don't apologize for asking for help but you need to go to Al Anon & get ongoing support. If you're married to an active addict who steals etc you need help getting out or getting your husband to stay abstinent & clean.

You need your anger. That's why you can't let go. You need it to protect yourself.

Counseling would be great for you...but certainly you should be going to Al Anon or Narcot Anon.