Good luck Mark !!!

[ARIES]

I saw you will be on a show tonight and wish you good luck with it..And while I'm here I have a little question..Not especialy for me (I found the way to SR and that's a blessing to me)but for all the suffering addicts in my country and other countries were doctors don't even know what addiction is..And addict are looked upon like criminals..I try to keep it short..My name is Stefanie..Im 31 years old was smoking cigarettes since 10..Drinking since 12 and smoking pot since 13..WhenI was 16 I starded to black out of the booz and always starded to fight...17 years the first time they put me in a mental hospital..What do those crazy doctors do?they plan a trip to my hometown to the sqaure that's famous for the dealers..(the square were they picked me up with an overdose to empty my stomach and to put me there again after 2 weeks ) I went to a guy and bought some even with the nurses in my neighbourhood...Back in the hospital I shared a joint with 3 patients..But 2 of them never smoked before smoke...One of the girls starded to walk on her hands and knees and the oher 3 included me starded to have a laughkick..So they fired me in that hospital..(in my eyes the doctors gave me that dope on a golden plate in dutch we say They putted the cat by the milk)..So starded to drink and blow and black out again...All those years I was A well known face at the copstation...I was beaten up there several times and one time 6 cops completely undressed me..Wich is against the rules..I even broke my palate(in my mouth)so now I have a fake palate...So in whole my live they brought me 3 times to mental hospital..And do you think they ever putted me on the section of the alcoholics or addicts...NO sir they only kept me there for observation..and after 3 weeks they always say..You better get home there's nothing wrong with you...If you stay here you only get sicker..My drinkin'life was so violent (I admit that my sick blacked out mind was the course of that but I didn't realised it at that time...To make a short story short...Doctors who give a pescription to addicts(also to me) to go and buy weed in Holland(the country next to us were weed and **** is legal)...AA in our country sucks..A complete chaos and a lot of bad things happened and been said there..for example..If you call to the official AAnumber on a sunday you got a drunk on the line who doesn't want to give no information not to the Addicts..Not to the family and who is very unpolite..So I reported it to the mainman of my mothergroup..He responded with...Yes I know we had a lot of complains bout that but I don't want to loose my job in AA so I don't say nothing nomore. (can you imagine..Anoher example...With that same mainman another shareman and let's say 12 people around the table the..Everytime a guy(and o.K..He does always tell the same story)wanted to speak a girl was always acting like she wanted to ring the bell..And she starded to yawn with 5 other people...I said to myself what is this...That same night..It was that same girls turn to share...She looked at me and said It's not to hurt you ..But it's becos of you I came to AA..I saw you bussy sometime andI said to myself I never want to be that way...Hey people that's something you say to the person himself after the meeting..I realy was embaresed..Maybe I could ask her to go in detail I'm sure she had no prob with that..My share that night was bout the fact I found the way to SR a wonderfull site .. I told them I'dd be glad to give the adress..Noone was intrested at all..I a wasn't even talkin for 3 minutes and I said How much I gained since I was fightin my addiction..And starded bout my stepsons..The sharman tapped on my shoulder and said are you done there some other people who wants to talk (another girl told me later that I didn't even say a thing it was only a few minutes)When it was the sharemans turn it came out... He's in a divorce and there are troubles abouth the children..That's why he interupted me becos I started to talk bout my stepsons....There's something You need to know Mark...I lived alone and was Very very very lonesome all my life ...My familie only gave me money..No love at all..But now since 1year and an half I live together with a very suportive man and in a way I'm began learning to live since I met him..I also learn to comunicate...(ho man my bf had rough times with me but we both are growin to make a nice family..Everyone who shared that night was interupted by question or people telling them what to do...At the end of the meeting the sharmann said does anyone have something more to say...He looke at me and said but not bout Site..Then to the guy they were yawnin bout..or bout the boyscouts...I said excuse me I thought that if it was you share in AA you could talk bout everything you like even If I wanted to talk bout my appletree...So this is just the last night in my mothergroup I talked you about..But I can tell you a hundred more of those missuse of the AA program..You know..I'm six years on the table now..And there was a period I was at the table everynight..(so do you believe I know what I'm talkin bout )Normaly when you come from the group you have to feel good...Relieved..Man he nights I came home completely upset..I can't count them nomore..NA in Antwerp..NEVER AGAIN!!!Don't even want to talk bout that only that a guy who came in the same period as me and witnessed all that sick **** at that table starded a group of his own it calls S.O.S sobriety..There was one group in Gent and now here's one in Antwerp...I never could make it..But I think I will go one of this weeks...There's one English speaking group where I never felt bad and all people treat eachother in a loving way..I still go there sometimes ...But I don't share nomore if I like to share..It's here on SR...What I wanted to say is that even in Holland (the netherlands) our neighbourcountry a 30 minutes drive by car..They are much further with addictions...Even the last doctors doesn't believed I am an alcoholic..They tought I have an impulse dissorder..Becos when I came in I trasch all the hospital share and the tables the locked me in that room untill it was over I was blackin out for 3 days of pills a doctor gave me to quit smoking the joints..So I wasn't drunk that night...So they don't think I'm an alcoholic...Only the doctor where I'm now...The same shrink who putted me away when I was 17 believes it ...Realy The treatmant of addictions in this country sucks...Anyhow I'm so glad I found SR...And it felt good to
write this all down...Even when I felt angry sometimes just thinking bout those things...Love from Stefanie...

[MarkSichelCSW]

Stefanie...I think its great that you've learned the serious limitations of the medical care in your country and its a pity that they don't understand more about addictions. I'm impressed that you've figured it out and figured out how to get help for yourself. I think that's great.