Is he an alcoholic?

[lookinforhelp]

I have been dating someone for several months and we have fallen in love. However, I'm petrified of moving any further in the relationship because I'm worried he might have a drinking problem. From what I have seen, he drinks about every night. I don't know how much he drinks per night, but it's probably anywhere from 1 to 4 beers. I have only seen him drink beer and wine. He does not smoke, does not stay out late, and I have never seen him drunk (from what I could tell), nor have I ever seen him hungover. He's successful at work and he's consitently in a good mood, so I wonder if I'm being paranoid. I have confronted him about this, and he said he was away in the Army for several months and could not drink the whole time, and he was fine, so he doesn't think he has a problem. He said nobody has ever mentioned such things to him and claims he's just a social drinker. I am horribly uneasy though about the frequency of his drinking, and have no idea what to do from here. Would very much appreciate any advice!! Thank you so much.

[GuyBlakeKett]

dear lookinforhelp -

I understand your concerns but there's no easy answer to this. From AA's standpoint, alcoholism is always self-diagnosed. Only the drinker him/herself can determine if drinking is a problem. Does his drinking affect his relationship with you? If so, you have every right to say 'hey, this worries me.' You may also want to attend some Alanon meetings (and post in the alanon thread here too) to get a better idea of dealing with someone who drinks. But apart from expressing your concerns, you really can't 'make' him (or anyone else) change behavior. If he doesn't think he has a problem then he won't seek help.

You might also send him to the following AA site and have him answer the questions AA offers anyone to determine if AA might be for them:

http://www.aa.org/default/en_about_aa.cfm?pageid=4

best -

Guy