Effects of hydrocodone abuse?

[OpiatesKill000]

Hi, this is my first post here, but I'll get right to the point.

For slightly less than one year, I abused hydrocodone frequently. After the first month or so of "recreational" use, I became addicted. My daily dose ranged from 30mg-100mg, usually stabilizing at around 60mg. For 77 days now, I have been clean from all drug use except for tobacco (no alcohol, no cannabis.) My withdrawal was quite hellish, and I used absolutely nothing to mask the pain aside from some Advil (I took a daily multi-vitaman, and drank protein shakes.) I now attend weekly therapy. However, the problem is that I still do not enjoy things much, and I get moderate to severe anxiety in social situations. I feel an over-all disconnection from reality, and a lack of motivation to try new things. Would you say that these are the effects of my addiction? Whether it is or isn't, would you reccomend looking into an anti-depressant or any other pharmacological aids? I'm told that I won't feel normal for up to 6 months after stopping, and that medication is an option but not a necessity.

Background info: I also abused cannabis for a few years, and this led to increased paranoia and anxiety in social settings. I have a family history of drug dependence, and during all of this drug use I experienced (or rather, chose not to experience?) a divorce in the family.

[GuyBlakeKett]

Dear Opiates...,

First of all, congratulations for getting off the drug. Believe me, although it may not seem like it now, things can and will get better. But you'll have to take some steps to make them better. The first and most important suggestion I can make is to find out where the nearest Narcotics Anonymous meeting is and give it a try - make a pact to go regularly at least for a limited time to listen to others talk about the 'change of life' (which is nearly total) entailed by giving up drugs and alcohol. The 12 step approach could really help your anxiety - not least because it will connect you with other people who are going through a similar tug-of-war. As for antidepressants, you may indeed want to go into psychotherapy and discuss that option, but I'd opt for 12 step meetings and non-drug therapy at first to see if you can get a handle on your distress without resorting to medication. In other words, give psychotherapy and recovery via the help of 12 step meetings a chance first. Medication may be indicated depending on what a good therapist may determine - but there's a lot you can do before that possible turn in the road.

There really is help out there. I hope you'll reach out for it. And again: CONGRATULATIONS on getting and staying clean.

best - and keep us posted -

Guy

[OpiatesKill000]

Thank you for your advice...meetings seem like a reasonable option, but I'm just very embarassed about going to a place full of addicts (full of people like myself, I guess.) In reality, I don't know how to tell my dad that I'm going to a 12-step program. I'm 18 and a good student and all, and I'd just feel supremely awkward about doing something like that. My father knows what happened, I told him about my problem and he supported me while I was withdrawing, but my brother (whom I also live with) doesn't have a clue, and I don't want him knowing about any of this, so I'd have to figure out a way to go to meetings without everyone finding out. Thanks again though for the advice, I'll definately keep posting here as the days go on.

[GuyBlakeKett]

well, it's terrific that you've taken the steps you already have. Give meetings a try, though. Maybe you can go to a few on your own - keep it to yourself for the time being. We're all pulling for you --

best,
Guy

[LOST ANGEL]

hi, I'm on day 2 and I have no energy and dont feel like eating anything, is there any way to push this withdrawel along faster?

[GuyBlakeKett]

dear lost angel -

check with your doctor as you go through this. This is not a medical site and thus is not the place to give this kind of guidance. But one way you can help your recovery is to check out some NA meetings - which I hope you'll do soon.

Thanks for checking in -

best -

Guy

[OpiatesKill000]

hey guys it's OpiatesKill, i just have another question...
after abusing hydrocodone like i have for as long as i have (60-80mg daily for almost one year) is it possible to fully recover, chemically and psychologically? has anyone been through hydrocodone addiction and been clean for longer than i have, to let me know what to expect? right now, i have my ups and downs, but my ups aren't very high (no pun intended) and my downs pretty much suck...if anyone could let me know i'd appreciate it.
thanks again.

[GuyBlakeKett]

dear opiateskill (and indeed they do - sorry for the omission) -

You really have to talk to a doctor about this. If you're in school, can you connect with some medical advisor there in confidence? You're clearly a bright human being, and it won't take a lot of persuading, surely, to convince you that doing this under medical guidance is important. Check out the link below about hydrocodone withdrawal which indicates that withdrawal symptoms can last as long as two weeks - but that's not forever. However, PLEASE talk to a doctor. And see about checking into an NA meeting. Even when you get over the physical effects of this (and you will), you'll need some support for the emotional and psychological 'stuff' that always attends addiction. You're not alone.

here's the link:

http://www.addictionwithdrawal.com/hydrocodone.htm

best,

Guy

[OpiatesKill000]

Hi Guy...
I think you're online at the same time as me but I don't know if you'll read this post again...anyway, you probably missed my first post, but I AM through the physical withdrawal (with 78 days clean, I'd hope I'm past that part.) What I'm asking is really just about anxiety, depression, and not feeling like myself. I get upset because I've put a lot of work into my recovery (I went to a doctor to check my liver, which is working fine, and I go to therapy) and I don't have the results I want, but I guess, like I've been told, this is just the impatience of youth...anyway, let me know what you think about my situation, maybe I'm just over-reacting, it just feels like I'm hardly going anywhere really.

[GuyBlakeKett]

I'm sorry I wasn't more attentive before (of course you HAD mentioned being clean for 78 days) - it's been that kind of day. But what you're reiterating makes me want to reiterate how much NA might help you. To answer your question generally, it is completely normal to have feelings of depression and listlessness and anxiety after giving up what after all became a kind of best friend (at least that's how many addicts perceived what they were addicted to; certainly I did) - now that you don't have that escape you face the challenge of re-vamping your life, and moving towards a different reward system. Oh, how a 12 step program could help you do that! And they really are all over the place: help is so very much nearer than you realize. Otherwise - or in addition - scout about for a good therapist, perhaps through your school?, who (if he or she is any good!) will probably encourage you to try out NA too. I hope you will.

best,
Guy

[OpiatesKill000]

Don't worry about it, I've been having "one of those days" for a few months now lol...yeah, you're definately on the money when you say I need to work toward a different reward system, and also that I perceived vikes as my "best friend" (what a backstabber he was!) I have some issues with going to a meeting, mostly I guess I just need to get over myself. Sometimes when I feel so anxious and down, I don't attribute it to my addiction, and this gets me nowhere. I have a friend who, after going to rehab for vikes, went to meetings and said they helped him (although he's relapsed already, but I guess it'd be silly to hold meetings responsible for his own decision.)

If you don't mind me asking, could you tell me about your personal drug experience? No details if you don't want to share, but just a general sense...also, since this is in the "Ask the Experts" section, and I assume that you are the "Guy Kettelhack" listed on the website, specifically what is your area of expertise? I'd just like to get to know who I'm talking to a little more, if possible.

Thanks a lot for the advice, I'll definately try to take some action in that direction...take care.

[GuyBlakeKett]

well, basically i'm just yr garden variety drunk but I also had a bad experience with amphetamines around the same time - which nudged out the alcohol. (My 'best friends' were killers.) My expertise, such as it is, comes from the research I've put into my ten or so books about recovery - one of which, FIRST YEAR SOBRIETY, although it concentrates on alcohol, you might want to look at. Its subtitle pretty much sums up its stance - "when all that changes is everything." It's available from amazon.com or hazelden.org - and it's short. Sort of like having a portable set of 12 step meetings in your pocket you can dip into when you feel the need. (It's a good bathroom book. :-)

Yes, I'm Guy Kettelhack.

Good luck to you. Suggestion: you might want to post something about what you're going through on the NA section of this site. I have no doubt that you'll get some good answering response.

best,

Guy

[OpiatesKill000]

Thanks for letting me know...
I will post on the NA site if I can find it...
I'm starting to think that a lot of what I'm experiencing is the repurcussion of not learning coping skills, and not learning how to socialize...but the drugs made my lack of coping feel a whole lot better than it was, so it all ties together...I do believe, though, that addiction is just a cycle of comfortable failure, and the problem with being sober afterwards is learning to break out of cycles, since this makes people feel very vulnerable. Let me know what you think.
Thanks again for the update, I'll keep posting.

[GuyBlakeKett]

precisely the kind of stuff NA exists to help you with, my friend. Start posting on this site in the thread 'Narcotics Anonymous' under the subhead 'Drug Addiction.' Every concern you've voiced here will receive heartfelt and (I'm confident) helpful response there.

best,
Guy

[OpiatesKill000]

i just started taking the supplement called SAM-e recently and it has been helping a lot with my mood...i don't know if i'll be going to meetings, maybe eventually but i just need to be active as much as possible and make a life for myself rather than focus on my past all the time...any comments lemme know.
werd.