Authenticity VI
Good morning y'all!
Have a safe trip Robby and Melissa! Glad to hear you've scheduled in some fun as well!
On games our dad's taught us....Poker. My dad taught me how to play poker with the big boys.
Have a safe trip Robby and Melissa! Glad to hear you've scheduled in some fun as well!
On games our dad's taught us....Poker. My dad taught me how to play poker with the big boys.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Wow. Chapter VI. And, like the Super Bowl, it has Roman numerals. This thread should last as long as the Super Bowl, and Robby and Melissa should be here to enjoy it all.
Reminds me of when I was an actor, when I was very young. I played the James Caan role, George Schneider, in Neil Simon's Chapter Two. It was so Off-Broadway that I was concerned that I'd need a pass-port to get to the theater. (I wrote 'pass-port' because the censor wouldn't allow the usual spelling of the word. Go figure.) Most of the roles I got had remarkable parallels to my own life, either things to come or things that had already happened.
I have to say, Robby, that there's something of a bizarre element for me in your going to visit Melissa's new home. Like a dream sequence or a flashback/flashforward in a movie. Then again, this whole thread has shaken me for some time. I know this is not about me, but I do believe that it's become about you, Melissa, me and everyone else here who contributes, who have been touched by you, and who are thus changed by the experience.
The sharing here remains exquisite and, as I've commented in private, it sometimes takes its toll. Though it's often disturbing in ways that "make sense" to me, it can still be disconcerting, a compilation of existential moments with no satisfying resolution. I can only imagine what this is like for you and Melissa.
When we're open to it, we find love in the strangest places.
Reminds me of when I was an actor, when I was very young. I played the James Caan role, George Schneider, in Neil Simon's Chapter Two. It was so Off-Broadway that I was concerned that I'd need a pass-port to get to the theater. (I wrote 'pass-port' because the censor wouldn't allow the usual spelling of the word. Go figure.) Most of the roles I got had remarkable parallels to my own life, either things to come or things that had already happened.
I have to say, Robby, that there's something of a bizarre element for me in your going to visit Melissa's new home. Like a dream sequence or a flashback/flashforward in a movie. Then again, this whole thread has shaken me for some time. I know this is not about me, but I do believe that it's become about you, Melissa, me and everyone else here who contributes, who have been touched by you, and who are thus changed by the experience.
The sharing here remains exquisite and, as I've commented in private, it sometimes takes its toll. Though it's often disturbing in ways that "make sense" to me, it can still be disconcerting, a compilation of existential moments with no satisfying resolution. I can only imagine what this is like for you and Melissa.
When we're open to it, we find love in the strangest places.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi again. Talked with the student -- I'm confident we'll work things out towards her PhD degree.
As for my current emotional challenges... well, what did we discuss, Robby..? The ability to manipulate awareness? Well, yeah. I'm taking off tomorrow to bury my father, and it'll also involve some
practical challenges for me regarding property. But my NYC team is set, and we are due to submit a grant renewal in August, so no real way for me to take a break right now. I planned go on a 2-week vacation at the end of August, still hold it, but loads of ***** to deal with before.
And you know what? I am happy to deal with all these challenges, it's the kind of life I knew and now embrace again in recovery.
As for my current emotional challenges... well, what did we discuss, Robby..? The ability to manipulate awareness? Well, yeah. I'm taking off tomorrow to bury my father, and it'll also involve some
practical challenges for me regarding property. But my NYC team is set, and we are due to submit a grant renewal in August, so no real way for me to take a break right now. I planned go on a 2-week vacation at the end of August, still hold it, but loads of ***** to deal with before.
And you know what? I am happy to deal with all these challenges, it's the kind of life I knew and now embrace again in recovery.
Oh hello Robbie & Melissa, et. al.
Just wanting you to know, that I keeping to shadows lately, cuz is very internal time for Cow. Is work being done. Cow under construction. But I checking in on all you all often. And my thoughts is with you. And I know you would wish for me to be doing what best for me at this time.
Moo Mwah, Cow
Just wanting you to know, that I keeping to shadows lately, cuz is very internal time for Cow. Is work being done. Cow under construction. But I checking in on all you all often. And my thoughts is with you. And I know you would wish for me to be doing what best for me at this time.
Moo Mwah, Cow
Hi all.
The Roman numerals make me thing of a toga party and double secret probation.
Have a good road trip Rob and Melissa. I would like to share a poem about modern day modes of transportation:
Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah Darlin' go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space
I like smoke and lightning
Heavy metal thunder
Racin' with the wind
And the feelin' that I'm under
Yeah Darlin' go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space
Like a true nature's child
We were born, born to be wild
We can climb so high
I never wanna die
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Have a good one all.
The Roman numerals make me thing of a toga party and double secret probation.
Have a good road trip Rob and Melissa. I would like to share a poem about modern day modes of transportation:
Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah Darlin' go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space
I like smoke and lightning
Heavy metal thunder
Racin' with the wind
And the feelin' that I'm under
Yeah Darlin' go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space
Like a true nature's child
We were born, born to be wild
We can climb so high
I never wanna die
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Have a good one all.
Hey Guys
Made it to Boston Monday evening. It was a nice trip we took our time. Got here and no internet, tv, or phone service, lol. Our home is in the deep woods and so even cell service is spotty at best. So we had a nice dinner and watch a DVD, snuggled up, and went to an early bed.
This morning we got the Verizon FIOS services repaired, meet with the realtor, fired the old grounds caretaker, hired a new one, and then took it easy for the afternoon. This evening we went for a drive to see the new place - it looks more than nice. Its a great condo community with a wonderful setting in an historic little town outside Boston. Sweet! We have a viewing Wednesday morning
For myself, this adventure is importantly bitter/sweet. I'm okay with that, but its not been easy, and we've both had a few tears to shed, and that's okay too. And not unexpected. We're both okay and well.
Its after 2am here now, lol.
We had KFC after our drive. Mashed w/gravy and biscuits. Mmmm.
Looks like a lively thread. I'll talk with y'all in the afternoon.
Made it to Boston Monday evening. It was a nice trip we took our time. Got here and no internet, tv, or phone service, lol. Our home is in the deep woods and so even cell service is spotty at best. So we had a nice dinner and watch a DVD, snuggled up, and went to an early bed.
This morning we got the Verizon FIOS services repaired, meet with the realtor, fired the old grounds caretaker, hired a new one, and then took it easy for the afternoon. This evening we went for a drive to see the new place - it looks more than nice. Its a great condo community with a wonderful setting in an historic little town outside Boston. Sweet! We have a viewing Wednesday morning
For myself, this adventure is importantly bitter/sweet. I'm okay with that, but its not been easy, and we've both had a few tears to shed, and that's okay too. And not unexpected. We're both okay and well.
Its after 2am here now, lol.
We had KFC after our drive. Mashed w/gravy and biscuits. Mmmm.
Looks like a lively thread. I'll talk with y'all in the afternoon.
Hi again troops,
I'm so far behind on posts I'm having to quickly say hi on Auth VI, p.2, for eff's sake!
I've been getting very down n dirty with all the rehab stuff, especially given this place's dual diagnosis focus. As of today (15th), barely a few days left before going home on the 21st.
Once back home, I'll be busy managing all that I have to do each day, both inwardly and outwardly. I look back over this frightful relapse of so many months as if it was a horrible hiatus in a parallel universe or something...yet also, very, very real, in real time. The real work starts next Tues, also in very real time and space. Feeling a bit scared this time, but also have to remember every day that I have many more supports of all kinds than on previous occasions.
There's also a relentless stream of highly triggering birthday memoriams during August, and now after Sue, September - itself, barely a few weeks after the twins' birthday (and still estranged from them), then the first anniversary of Sue's death, cremation, memorial service through November well into December, followed shortly after by my remaining sis' birthday, mine (60th) a day later, then Christmas Day.
So, yeah, it's gonna be hard. But I can do it with highly targetted outpatients' groups on 1-2 days / week, speaking with my worker, meetings, and finally hopefully finding a suitable psychotherapist not too far away to slowly help me un-burden so much of the past traumas, losses, griefs. Phew! And in between, living a balanced life at home with Bessie, trying new social things or some hobbies (old or new), etc etc etc. God knows how anyone finds the time to (do paid) work in early recovery, beats me!!!
Enough from me now, bedtime....I apologise for not having being able to even read through all the latest stories, reflections etc of the last several days. But know, as I'm sure you all do, that I often think of you all. And R and M, I did offer up a metta prayer for you guys during last Thursday evening's prayer / reflection group in the lovely pastoral care Quiet Room along with about 10 other patients - 2 of us from AOD unit, and the rest from psychiatric. It was a very powerful little session.
Lots of love all, Vic xxx
I'm so far behind on posts I'm having to quickly say hi on Auth VI, p.2, for eff's sake!
I've been getting very down n dirty with all the rehab stuff, especially given this place's dual diagnosis focus. As of today (15th), barely a few days left before going home on the 21st.
Once back home, I'll be busy managing all that I have to do each day, both inwardly and outwardly. I look back over this frightful relapse of so many months as if it was a horrible hiatus in a parallel universe or something...yet also, very, very real, in real time. The real work starts next Tues, also in very real time and space. Feeling a bit scared this time, but also have to remember every day that I have many more supports of all kinds than on previous occasions.
There's also a relentless stream of highly triggering birthday memoriams during August, and now after Sue, September - itself, barely a few weeks after the twins' birthday (and still estranged from them), then the first anniversary of Sue's death, cremation, memorial service through November well into December, followed shortly after by my remaining sis' birthday, mine (60th) a day later, then Christmas Day.
So, yeah, it's gonna be hard. But I can do it with highly targetted outpatients' groups on 1-2 days / week, speaking with my worker, meetings, and finally hopefully finding a suitable psychotherapist not too far away to slowly help me un-burden so much of the past traumas, losses, griefs. Phew! And in between, living a balanced life at home with Bessie, trying new social things or some hobbies (old or new), etc etc etc. God knows how anyone finds the time to (do paid) work in early recovery, beats me!!!
Enough from me now, bedtime....I apologise for not having being able to even read through all the latest stories, reflections etc of the last several days. But know, as I'm sure you all do, that I often think of you all. And R and M, I did offer up a metta prayer for you guys during last Thursday evening's prayer / reflection group in the lovely pastoral care Quiet Room along with about 10 other patients - 2 of us from AOD unit, and the rest from psychiatric. It was a very powerful little session.
Lots of love all, Vic xxx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
I tried to imagine myself doing what you and Melissa are doing right now and tears came immediately. So glad you have one another at this juncture. Love!
Vic - it sounds like you are making headway... that is all we can do, right? Take care.
Vic - it sounds like you are making headway... that is all we can do, right? Take care.
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