Memories...

Why is it so hard to remember my childhood and my past since the nightmares never go away when I am sleeping but as soon as I awaken I cannot remember a single thing?! Why can't I get my guilt over choosing drugs and alcohol over my kids under control?!

I have tried one counselor but we (the counselor & I) decided that I should find a different counselor since my old counselor & I could not get along long enough to resolve my issues plus all she ever wanted to talk about is my fiancee now (why isn't he going to counseling, how long has he been sober, and why isn't he on meds for his ADHD). I wasn't going to counseling for him, I was going to counseling for me.

Oh, I am also tired of all of the meds that I am on: Lithium 300 mg 3 times a day, Serquel 100 mg 1 time at night, Lexapro 10 mg 1/2 tab in morning, either hydroxizine 50-100 mg at night or trazadone 100 mg at night (I switch them every couple of weeks for sleep as per doctor's orders because I get a tolerance level to them)....that is just the psych meds...I am on 3 or 4 other meds for physical stuff plus a multivitamin!!

Thanks for your help...it is hard to stay sober with these memories....thank God for AA & my man!!

[Prepjackie]

I used to have night terrors, until I sought the help of a professional. I was diagnoised with PTSD. I had to relive my trauma before going to sleep and when it came time for bed I would not dream those horrible nightmares. I too, was on and still am on serequil and depakote for bi-polar, but talking about anything at all that you can remember will be helpful as long as you are in a safe place now. It will hurt of course, but the out-come will be worth it. It was for me. God Bless you and good luck. Prepjackie

[CurlyGirl]

I'm going to attend my first Al Anon meeting today and find that I'm somewhat nervous. What if I run into people who know me? I'm ashamed to tell anything about what my husband did to me and how his alcoholic mind works. I guess that I'm thinking about not even going. I'm not religious: how is this going to help me move on with my life, and help my children?

[MarkSichelCSW]

It's actually not always helpful to talk about and remember your childhood traumas. Research has shown that some people do better moving on and repressing the memories.

As long you go to your AA &/or Al Anon meetings and working the program, you'll be fine.