cocaine problem

[rangerette]

My boyfriend has lately been struggling with cocaine...... And he fell fast..... He had used years back and found his way back to it in the past few months..... He has 4 kids..... We live 500 miles apart..... Him in Philly and me in Toronto Canada...... He got a new job and lost it within 2 weeks..... He called in sick while doing coke and they said he never did..... But he does have phone records for that call....... He lives with his parents now because his Dad has Alzeimers and is really helping out... Problem is, it's ripping him apart watching what's happening to his Dad..... Doing coke is the only release he's had lately..... His Mother is stepping in to help him get help..... This past weekend he really scared himself..... Hopefully enough to get the help.......

I want to stay with him through this and support him..... How do I do that??? One minute I'm my usual self and the next in tears or very angry...... I feel if I keep going at him about this it will just make things worse...... Where do I start in my support of him??? Any answers would be very helpful........

Thank You........

Dear Rangerette,

This is tough, and your reaching out for guidance now is an indication of a big truth about addiction - it affects everyone, family, friends, fiances, colleagues at work. You now need some support and clarity and the best way of getting it is to find your nearest Naranon meeting and go -- regularly. Both to share what you're going through and to listen to others who are grappling with this beast -- and have learned that nobody has power over an addict but God and the addict him/herself. It sounds like your fiance's mother may be investigating various sources of help, which will include Cocaine Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings, and possibly an inpatient or outpatient rehab. I would strongly suggest your fiance investigate these as soon as possible, but really leave it at that. At the very most you might find out numbers of these groups local to him and send them his way, but the only other thing you can do directly with him is tell him you love him and pray that he reach out for help. Because, again, HE has to reach out for it.

But you do too. Find out about the nearest Naranon meeting (or possibly even Alanon, which although it deals with family members and friends of alcoholics, will still give helpful support). Numbers should be in the directory; if for some reason you can't find them, query a hospital or health/drug clinic and they will be able to guide you.

Prayers go to you -- and hope.
Guy

[rangerette]

the boyfriend I told you about is going to a meeting tonight in Philly....... He went before..... Just not enough....... I'm hoping he sticks with it this time....... His Mom is also making an appointment for him to see the Priest at his church....... The only thing I am worried about is his doing this for me....... Than it won't work........

Thank you for your help........

yes - you're right. he can't do it for anyone but himself. Here's praying that he'll want to.

keep us posted -

Guy