My Dead Friends

[Puddy]

What a great post. I've been at a very low point in my recovery lately, full of self pity and stuff, and this post puts it all in perspective to me. It's funny, when I first got sober I just naturally assumed that if you did A and B you got C; now almost 7 years later I see that's not true at all. Many people die in this disease, before they find AA/12-step, maybe they've rejected 12 step, maybe relapsed. I have a few:

Denise, 52, never found recovery, very successful, but had a pill for every ill and drank. Never woke up one morning last October.

My grandad Rupert, never met him, died drunk in the gutter during the great depression (1926). Was previously rich and successful.

A girl in my local AA relapsed after 10 years sobriety, lost all she had built up including a business, home, husband, 2 children. Was indigent living in her car for awhile, finally ended it all by jumping off a highway overpass.

Another girl in local AA relapsed and developed a medical condition that she ignored that eventually killed her. Her husband went out and relapsed and her children are being cared for by some homegroup members.

[juliwuli]

yeah, i keep reading the post too, i'm speechless, i only know one who drank himself to death and that was bad enough,

[fallingdown]

July 4 2001 my friend Rhiannon was thrown from a vehicle being driven by a drunk male friend. She died instantly. She was 19 years old.

July 21, 2004 on her 21st birthday my friend Kristen was riding in a car with a male friend who had too much to drink. They hit a utility truck on State Ave. going 100 mph. She was killed but not instantly. She was supposed to come over to our house that night to celebrate her birthday but said she had a chance to go on a date with this new guy and would I mind? No of course I didn't mind then, I do now.

Two extremely intelligent strong young women who both made the mistake of getting into the car with the wrong guy. It is only by the grace of God that I survived my 20's, I am just sorry that they did not. I still think about them all the time, especially during the month of July.

[DSodaNow]

Wow... thank you for this post. I needed to read something like this.

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

Can I add one?

My mother, Patricia. Fell into a coma in August of 1997 from liver failure. Died at 57 years old, September 25, 1997, after our family turned off life support.

I would like to think that she would be very happy and proud for me today.

A constant reminder....

[problemchild]

Have had several in the music circle, God rest all their souls, very good people with awesome talent. This disease sux......

Take care,
John

[Captain Kirk]

my goodness!
i'm sorry you've lost so many friends, loved ones, and acquaintainces to this terrible illness.
aren't we lucky to still be here!
thanks for sharing.

[FreeinMilwaukee]

This is a very moving thread. For those of us in early recovery it is a powerful message. Thank you so much for sharing.

[barb dwyer]

Thanks for this, Carol -

sometimes we get to joking around and it's only to forget for a minute that this is a progressive fatal condition. Period. End of debate.

The first year I trended bar in butte - The bar hosted eleven wakes.
My first 90 days of sobriety - seven of my customers died in one way onr another of alcohol.

Total - thirty people.

WHen youre behind the bar- your 'friend' circle of aquaintence expands componentially. But it's still just as dead as an associate or the child of someone you do business with.

Notice I didn't mention any family members.
Or any of the people I knew in the Fellowship.

It just can't get any more real than this.

[Stormy1119]

Thanks for this thread.

I read it a couple days ago and I thought to myself that I was lucky that I had not known anyone from recovery that had died yet, of course I've only been around for a couple months.

Today it changed. I got to my home group and found one of the members committed suicide last night. He was the first person to welcome me to AA after I picked up my first chip. He was a really upstanding guy, always would help others, and I always enjoyed hearing what he had to share.

[Mala09]

Until I came into AA, I didn't realise alcoholism was such a killer -- now I have been to several funerals and heard about many deaths, horrible alcoholic deaths, people who didn;t realise alcohol was going to kill them long before they felt ready to die. And then there are the suicides, those who had lost everything and could not stop drinking no matter how they tried.

One day at a time, in gratitude

Mala

[dancinggirl]

I do NOT want to end up on this list. Day six.

[CarolD]

I so appreciate the 81 SR members
who took the time to use the Thank You button.

A special to the members
who added their thoughts and losses.

Yes! we can and do recover!