Looking for "LET ME FALL"

[caileesnana]

I thought it was a sticky. Anyone have it? I think passion wrote it.
I only had one copy and gave it away at meeting last night.
thanks to anyone who has a copy~!
susan

[BigSis]

Let me fall
Let me climb
There’s a moment when fear
And dreams must collide

Someone I am
Is waiting for courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me

So let me fall
If I must fall
I won’t heed your warnings
I won’t hear them

Let me fall
If I fall
Though the phoenix may
Or may not rise

I will dance so freely
Holding on to no one
You can hold me only
If you too will fall
Away from all these
Useless fears and chains

Someone I am
Is waiting for my courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me

So let me fall
If I must fall
I won’t heed your warnings
I won’t hear

Let me fall
If I fall
There’s no reason
To miss this one chance
This perfect moment
Just let me fall

Josh Groban

[caileesnana]

Thanks, that is beautiful. The one I'm looking for was posted on this site, and talks about letting the addict fall as far down as needed, not giving them a soft spot to land, etc. I will keep looking, if anyone knows what I'm talking about, help!!
susan

[Impurrfect]

Susan....is this it?

I am an addict

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You can't make me clean, though I know it is what you want for me to be. But until I want it. I won't be. You can't love me clean, because until I learn to love myself. I won't be. I know you must wonder how can I learn to love myself when I am caught up in a life style of self-hatred and self destruction. I can learn from my own experiences. I can learn from the things that happen to me along the path of my own mistakes. I can learn by being allowed to suffer the consequences of my choices. Life has a funny way of teaching us the lessons we need learn.

I know it devastates you to watch me hurting myself. I know you want to jump in and save me. This helps ease your pain, but I don't think you understand just how damaging it is to me.

You see, although I look and sound like your loved one. I am not. That person is in a self imposed prison way deep down inside of my being and what you see before you is an addict ruled and reigned by my addiction. I am a addict and my main focus is to feed the addiction. Every effort you put forth in the name of "helping me" falls prey to my addiction giving it more power to shackle me down a little more each time.

I feed my addiction enough. So please don't help me.

The only way for the real me to get free is to be free. FREE to fall as far down as I need to go in order to find the strength to fight and find my way back. To break free.

How can or will I ever be able to get clean you wonder ...

The same way I gave myself over to my addiction is the same way I can give myself over to my recovery. BY MYSELF

By not enabling me you will be allowing me to reach "rock bottom". By trusting the process you move over and allow me to find the my own way back. You see, it is in the fight to get free that I will find myself. It is in the fight that I will learn to love myself and the more I love myself ... the more I will start to do to better myself, but I myself, must do this.

I am aware that when I use I am playing Russian roulette with my life. I know this, but that is a chance I take when I use. The addict in me is willing to take that chance in the name of getting high.

Rock bottom is but a circumstance away. I can't reach it you are blocking the entrance.

I know you love me and you only want whats best for me ... but that very love keeps you blind sighted to just what truly is best for me and causes you to act from/out of fear and emotions.

Please for my sake don't try to stop me... just let me go ... move out of the way and let me fall as far down as my addiction is going to take me ... as far down as I have to to reach rock bottom. Don't try to cushion the fall. Just believe in me and trust the process. Pray for me that when I do hit ... it is not with the impact that leaves me for dead (I know that is your greatest fear), but if it comes to that, be sure to tell my story so that others might learn from my mistakes and live.

Passion
Recovering addict

[lostparent]

Let Me Fall All By Myself


If you love me let me fall all by myself. Don't try to spread a net out to catch me. Don't throw a pillow under my ass to cushion the pain so I don't have to feel it. Don’t stand in the place I am going to land so that you can break the fall (allowing yourself to get hurt instead of me) ... Let me fall as far down as my addiction is going to take me, let me walk the valley alone all by myself, let me reach the bottom of the pit ... trust that there is a bottom there somewhere even if you can't see it. The sooner you stop saving me from myself, stop rescuing me, trying to fix my broken-ness, trying to understand me to a fault, enabling me ... The sooner you allow me to feel the loss and consequences, the burden of my addiction on my shoulders and not yours ... the sooner I will arrive ... and on time ... just right where I need to be ... me, alone, all by myself in the rubble of the lifestyle I lead ... resist the urge to pull me out because that will only put me back at square one ... If I am allowed to stay at the bottom and live there for awhile ... I am free to get sick of it on my own, free to begin to want out, free to look for a way out, and free to plan how I will climb back up to the top. In the beginning as I start to climb out .. I just might slide back down, but don't worry I might have to hit bottom a couple more times before I make it out safe and sound ... Don't you see ?? Don't you know ?? You can't do this for me ... I have to do it for myself, but if you are always breaking the fall how am I ever suppose to feel the pain that is part of the driving force to want to get well. It is my burden to carry, not yours ... I know you love me and that you mean well and a lot of what you do is because you don't know what to do and you act from your heart not from knowledge of what is best for me ... but if you truly love me let me go my own way, make my own choices be they bad or good ... don't clip my wings before I can learn to fly ... Nudge me out of your safety net ... trust the process and pray for me ... that one day I will not only fly, but maybe even soar. ---Passion

[Lobo]

IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME FALL

IF you love me let me fall all by myself. Don't try to spread a net out to catch me, don't throw a pillow under my ass to cushion the pain so I don't have to feel it, don't stand in the place I am going to land so that you can break the fall, (allowing yourself to get hurt instead of me)

Let me fall as far down as my addiction is going to take me, let me walk the valley alone all by myself, let me reach the bottom of the pit....trust that there is a bottom there somewhere even if you can't see it. The sooner you stop saving me from myself, stop rescuing me, trying to fix my broken-ness, trying to understand me to a fault, enabling me.....The sooner you allow me to feel the loss and consequences, the burden of my addiction on my shoulders and not yours....the sooner I will arrive....and on time....just right where I need to be...me, alone all by myself in the rubble of the lifestyle I lead...resist the urge to pull me out because that will only put me back at square one.

It I am allowed to stay at the bottom and live there for awhile, I am free to get sick of it on my own, free to begin to want out, free to look for a way out, and free to plan how I will climb back up to the top. In the beginning as I start to climb out....I just might slide back down, but don't worry I might have to hit bottom a couple more times before I make it out safe and sound.

Don't you see?? Don't you know?? You can't do this for me...I have to do it for myself, but if you are always breaking the fall how am I ever supposed to feel the pain that is part of the driving force to want to get well. It is my burden to carry, not yours.

I know you love me and that you mean well and a lot of what you do is because you don't know what to do and you act from your heart and from knowledge of what is best for me....but if you truly love me, let me go my own way, make my own choices be they bad or good.

Don't clip my wings before I can learn to fly....nudge me out of your safety net....trust the process and pray for me.....that one day I will not only fly, but maybe even soar.

Susan, I think this is the one you are talking about. The author on this one is "Ivey".
I got it at a meeting a couple of years ago.
I liked it and saved it.

Hugs...............Lo

[Lobo]

This used to be a sticky but when we crashed it was lost. Maybe it can be made a sticky again.

[caileesnana]

Thank you all!!! I know I got it off the forum! Yes, I think it should be a stickey. I read it at my group last night and one of the parents asked for it. I didn't make a copy, thought I'd zoom in and print some more!!! The moderator and others said it "was powerful". It helped me, and I like to pass the help along.

thanks again,
love to all
susan

[bluebelle]

I would love to see this as a sticky again. I've been looking for it! I'm glad it was re-requested.

[Spiritual Seeker]

So glad to read these today. Thanks to everyone.

[Ann]

I agree and will make it a sticky now.

[beverden2]

I wished i could just let my son hit rock bottom. But the fear i live with is that rock bottom will end in tragady.

[Danishthorn]

Wow. Those are wonderful! Thank you!

[beegee]

I wish I had found these three years ago. I am not sure if I would have hurt enough to be hard and walk away but I think I would have tried a lot harder to realize my protection and love was hurting more then helping. Now I hurt but I have stood my ground. Thank you

[gorman]

this was an awakening. I am the one trying to change the addict and its not working. What if one never hits bottom? How do I know when I need to leave the situation?

[maggie6]

I would like to that everyone for the poems that I just read. Being a mom of a heroin addict I find it so comforting knowing that I am doing the right thing. It is so painfull being so helpless but I know from all the reading I do and the advice I get that he has to fall and pick himself back up. Its just so hard not being able to fix it or know where he is. Is he suffering? Is he alone? Is he dead? When will this ever end? How far down is his bottom. I wish I knew.
I get my greatest strenghs from listening to former addicts. I feel they have the most to offer because they have been there.

[wendyarb]

Thank you so much for this. It brought tears to my eyes. Just knowing that the father of my 2 yr. old daughter, my ex, is still using cocaine and is progressively drinking himself into a grave is destroying me. "You can't make me clean, though I know it is what you want for me to be" made me think that I have no control over what this addiction has done to him. I just wish I could do something to make him change, but that's my own recovery that I'm going thru, not being in control of something that is out of MY control.

[Abundance]

Dear Family/Friends/Loved Ones,

I am a drug abuser. I need help.

Don't solve my problems for me. This only makes me lose respect for you - and for myself.

Don't lecture, moralize, scold, blame, or argue whether I'm stoned or sober. It may make you feel better, but it only makes the situation worse.

Don't accept my promises. The nature of my illness prevents my keeping them, even though I mean them at the time. Promises are only my way of postponing pain.

And don't keep switching agreements; if an agreement is made, stick to it.

Don't lose your temper with me. It will destroy you and any possibility of helping me.

Don't let your anxiety for me make you do what I should do for myself.

Don't believe everything I tell you. Often I don't even know the truth - let alone tell it.

Don't cover up or try to spare me the consequences of my using. It may reduce the crisis, but it will make my illness worse.

Above all, don't run away from reality as I do. Drug dependence, my illness, gets worse as my using continues.

Start now to learn, to understand, to plan for your own recovery. Find Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon, Al-Anon or CoDA; those groups exist to help families in just your situation.

I need help - from a doctor, a psychologist, a counselor, from some people in a self-help program who are in recovery from a drug problem themselves - and from a Power greater than myself.

Love,
Your "User"

[Neverwanted]

Originally Posted by Abundance

Dear Family/Friends/Loved Ones,

Promises are only my way of postponing pain.

Wow. OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH. That left a mark. And it is so true.

[mariecher]

just beginning to research Nar-Anon and sites such as this for support. 33 yr old son alchoholic/heroin addict coming out of jail (again!) and need to face the future - whatever that may entail

[FreeBird09]

Wow, what a post. It made me cry. I am crying because I am finally realizing that I can't help my AXBF (who also uses meds to excess) and walking away is the best for him. (and for me) Very painful.

[Flame]

Those are exactly what I needed as a friend of someone who is starting over again today. Just to pray he finds what he needs in himself to keep going and stay clean.

Thank you.

[HurtingHeart27]

WOW this is deep and exactly what I needed to read in order to realize that I need to let me husband fall. I am always holding him back from falling but he needs to do it. I just pray that he doesnt fall into tragedy.

[sugah13]

Hello,
This is my very first post here! Looking desperately for support to help with the guilt and pain I am experiencing due to my adult son's drug addiction.
Oh my goodness, what a beautiful poem! Very enlightening but like another poster stated, I am so afraid that letting my son fall will also lead to devastating tragedy!
I have such a strong maternal instinct to help him............my heart is breaking and the stress is destroying me!

[Prospero]

My son, 27, is addicted to methadone and oxycontin. I hit my own bottom at about 6 PM tonight when I came home from a shopping trip and saw him lying on the couch, inert, with his head back and his mouth open. I tried to rouse him, and when he didn't respond I called 911, pulled him down on the floor and followed CPR directions until the fire department arrived. He had a pulse but wasn't breathing on his own, but they put a tube in and gave him air until the paramedics arrived. They gave him Narcon and got him breathing, and took him to the hospital in an ambulance.

If I hadn't come in when I did, he would be dead by now.

This wasn't the first time: that was six months ago. He came home after that one, and after two months checked in to a residential rehab program, where he stayed for six weeks. Within a week he was using again, and went back into rehab, where he spent another six weeks. He has been home for about two weeks, and had, I'm pretty sure, been clean for two months, the longest time in several years.

Last night, he and I had an argument, and he went out afterward for several hours. I didn't see him this morning. The next time I saw him, he was OD'd on the couch.

I'm not looking for answers. This is my first post here, and it has helped just putting some of this into words. His mother and I know about enabling, and I'm an alcoholic who's been sober since 1986. I'm out of my depth with methadone. You never know when the OD will hit you. He had lunch spread out on the table in front of him, and a new game running on the TV. I don't know what he thought he was doing, but he wasn't expecting to die.