Question

[2stop]

My brother down in TX is in jail because he nutted up the other night after drinking and using meth, he shot his sawed off shotgun after locking himself in the bathroom. He caused quite a commotion beforehand and with the particular gun he had and the outstanding warrants they threw him in jail, I have been thinking about calling the AA down there he went to years ago(and did so well) I'm thinking maybe a visit from them might give him alittle hope. My mom said he told his father-in-law right before they hauled him off "Damn, I've tried to kill myself 5 times and God won't let me do it" At least he is thinking alittle that God has better plans for him, I just don't know if I should make the call and see if a few of the guys could go see him or should I back off and let him make the first move to get a hold of AA? I am so cunfused tonight, I am craving myself and I am so tired and exhausted, I know my recovery has to come first, but I can't just sit here and do nothing..can I? Thanks for listening and I will welcome any advice.

Many hugs and hope too,
Tammie

Well, Tammie -- one thing is clear -- and it's clear that you know it: YOUR OWN RECOVERY has to come first. You can't go jumping in and saving even the people you love -- at least not when it comes to nudging them towards recovery. Not that calling AA down there is necessarily a bad idea. Although as you know it's a program of attraction not coercion. You'd at least get their take on what they feel they can do.

But more important: do you have a sponsor? Can you talk to friends in the program who know you and hash this out one-to-one a bit more? Alanon -- believe me -- will help too. Make an effort to talk to people -- a sponsor especially -- and sort out options. But my first plea is that you go to a meeting, AA or NA (or whatever works for you) and get a big fat dose of the first three steps. Alanon too. This may sound like a non-response -- but it's in service of getting you to get and remain calm, gather responses from other recovering friends, and then make a decision.

I know this isn't easy. But take many deep breaths and get help for yourself -- and the right move will come to you about your brother.

prayers -
Guy

[2stop]

Guy,

Thank you for the reply and the advice. Many times I kinda know an answer deep inside but then doubt creeps in and I feel like I just don't know anything. Thanks again and I hope your day is starting out well!

Many hugs and hope too,
Tammie

Yeah, Tammie, it's amazing isn't it -- how among the infinite rewards of growing recovery is the ability to hear the right answer inside you -- and then heed it. Take care of yourself. Praying for you and your bro.

Guy