Clean Son and GF got their own place! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

parent · 05-22-2003, 02:38 AM

Hi there,

Last week, they just moved into their first apartment together. They needed help with the sercurity deposit and I loaned them June's rent so they could move in right away (that one was totally my offering!). It gives them 1/2 month's free rent that way and plenty of time to move their stuff, plus I didn't want anything to go wrong and get them in there immediately! Okay, just a little controlling there but geez! Yes, all monies and receipts exchanged hands with me present. The GF will be handing over her cheque to me for June rent next week. I am confident this will happen but I know I will be loaning it back to them somewhere during in month. It will be awhile before they get the hang of things. They even gave me a spare set of keys for their apartment...totally unexpected for me. They are trying so hard to make this work but it will be awhile before their addict behaviour subsides. They are beginning to realize this and asked if I would hold their rent money so they don't spend it. I told them I would be happy to do that for them for afew months until they get themselves little established and open their own bank account. I hope they will do it. It has been five days now and they have done a fine job setting the place up.
They have been pretty well without food in their place. The little they took from my place was very very little BECAUSE I was making a point about free food before their move and stopped bringing in bags of food over a month ago! Told them to go to the food bank...they didn't so the food stopped coming in the house. Funny, when my son was using I was trying to force feed him anything and everything. Now, I found myself making a point about food and limiting his food. So, today I offered to go grocery shopping if my son wrote a list. GF and I went grocery shopping while my son went to work!

YES, my son got a job delivery pizza. He started the day after they moved in. It is just parttime but a start. He thinks he can live off his tips once he gets on full time and have the paychegue for rent and bills. He also went for another interview for another delivery job this morning. Hope they call him back, too!

Anyways, I never saw them so grateful that I helped them get the apartment and all groceries they got. And I feel good that all got done with my insurance the monies went were it was suppose to go.

Thought I would focus on the good things this post.

Always,
Parent

**Ann** · 05-22-2003, 07:07 AM

Parent

What wonderful news - for them and for you.

You have been amazing through this, and your recovery is showing

.

You must feel so relieved and proud to have them setting up on their own.

parent · 05-22-2003, 01:13 PM

Thank you, Ann!

Me? Amazing? Someone can see I am progressing? Really?
Wow! I had no idea that your simple words would bring tears in my eyes....
I should feel proud not scared of this new future, right? I am going to take another baby step and phone my family to tell them the good news. I have been holding back because.....well you know. So, today I will start enjoying this new future.
They want to have a house warming and I didn't give them the encouragement to do it right away. Today, I will ask them about it. I did tell them that if they have a housewarming to make it potluck. It will be just family....they haven't any FRIENDS that will be invited.

Thank you again for the encouragement...i really need it
Always,
parent

curiousgirl9698 · 05-23-2003, 12:32 PM

I'm sorry, I missed this post yesterday.

Glad to hear they got the apartment and now you can have some alone time to continue working your program and making some MORE progress. I see progress in you, yes I do!!!!!! YEAH!

You probably have mixed emotions about everything going on right now. A little excitement, a little fear. Sometimes the unknown is kinda scary, but this sounds like positive steps.

Sounds like your son and his girlfriend are trying to be responsible and have realized they may have a problem if there is money laying around. Remember though, they don't HAVE to tell you where every dime goes. Let them make the choices, but you be the banker / atm for a while.

I'm proud of you!

washbe2 · 05-23-2003, 01:37 PM

Great news!
I'm so happy for you and pray that this will be the beginning of many years of peace for you.
Washbe

**margo** · 05-23-2003, 09:04 PM

Parent - what a great post! I'm so glad to hear the good news. Yes, you should feel proud - you done good! And having hope never hurt anyone. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and for them.

05-22-2003, 02:38 AM	#1 (permalink)
parent Paused Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Vancouver, B.C. Canada Posts: 52	Clean Son and GF got their own place! Hi there, Last week, they just moved into their first apartment together. They needed help with the sercurity deposit and I loaned them June's rent so they could move in right away (that one was totally my offering!). It gives them 1/2 month's free rent that way and plenty of time to move their stuff, plus I didn't want anything to go wrong and get them in there immediately! Okay, just a little controlling there but geez! Yes, all monies and receipts exchanged hands with me present. The GF will be handing over her cheque to me for June rent next week. I am confident this will happen but I know I will be loaning it back to them somewhere during in month. It will be awhile before they get the hang of things. They even gave me a spare set of keys for their apartment...totally unexpected for me. They are trying so hard to make this work but it will be awhile before their addict behaviour subsides. They are beginning to realize this and asked if I would hold their rent money so they don't spend it. I told them I would be happy to do that for them for afew months until they get themselves little established and open their own bank account. I hope they will do it. It has been five days now and they have done a fine job setting the place up. They have been pretty well without food in their place. The little they took from my place was very very little BECAUSE I was making a point about free food before their move and stopped bringing in bags of food over a month ago! Told them to go to the food bank...they didn't so the food stopped coming in the house. Funny, when my son was using I was trying to force feed him anything and everything. Now, I found myself making a point about food and limiting his food. So, today I offered to go grocery shopping if my son wrote a list. GF and I went grocery shopping while my son went to work! YES, my son got a job delivery pizza. He started the day after they moved in. It is just parttime but a start. He thinks he can live off his tips once he gets on full time and have the paychegue for rent and bills. He also went for another interview for another delivery job this morning. Hope they call him back, too! Anyways, I never saw them so grateful that I helped them get the apartment and all groceries they got. And I feel good that all got done with my insurance the monies went were it was suppose to go. Thought I would focus on the good things this post. Always, Parent

05-22-2003, 07:07 AM	#2 (permalink)
Ann Sharing Our Light Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 15,130	Parent What wonderful news - for them and for you. You have been amazing through this, and your recovery is showing . You must feel so relieved and proud to have them setting up on their own. __________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~

05-23-2003, 12:32 PM	#4 (permalink)
curiousgirl9698 Paused Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: dallas, texas Posts: 4	Parent I'm sorry, I missed this post yesterday. Glad to hear they got the apartment and now you can have some alone time to continue working your program and making some MORE progress. I see progress in you, yes I do!!!!!! YEAH! You probably have mixed emotions about everything going on right now. A little excitement, a little fear. Sometimes the unknown is kinda scary, but this sounds like positive steps. Sounds like your son and his girlfriend are trying to be responsible and have realized they may have a problem if there is money laying around. Remember though, they don't HAVE to tell you where every dime goes. Let them make the choices, but you be the banker / atm for a while. I'm proud of you!

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05-22-2003, 01:13 PM	#3 (permalink)
parent Paused Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Vancouver, B.C. Canada Posts: 52	Thank you, Ann! Me? Amazing? Someone can see I am progressing? Really? Wow! I had no idea that your simple words would bring tears in my eyes.... I should feel proud not scared of this new future, right? I am going to take another baby step and phone my family to tell them the good news. I have been holding back because.....well you know. So, today I will start enjoying this new future. They want to have a house warming and I didn't give them the encouragement to do it right away. Today, I will ask them about it. I did tell them that if they have a housewarming to make it potluck. It will be just family....they haven't any FRIENDS that will be invited. Thank you again for the encouragement...i really need it Always, parent

05-23-2003, 01:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
washbe2 Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: not sure Posts: 50	Great news! I'm so happy for you and pray that this will be the beginning of many years of peace for you. Washbe

05-23-2003, 09:04 PM	#6 (permalink)
margo Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia Posts: 1,747	Parent - what a great post! I'm so glad to hear the good news. Yes, you should feel proud - you done good! And having hope never hurt anyone. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and for them.

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