Do I really Need NA if I am an addict

[tjslady]

Hello all. I am new to the addiction thing. I started using Cocaine, Crack and Powder about seven years ago. I quit using when I almost overdosed at home, alone with my 2 children who were very small at the time. I stayed sober on and off for approximately 7 years. Then, six months ago, my spouse who is my using buddy had a slip and I chose to go back down that bad road with him.

Much to my suprise, my addiction had severly escalated and was totally out of control. It was quiet different than the first time I started using.

Does one absolutely need to join or start attending meetings of NA to stay clean and to get right, and how does one come to know themself again after completely sight of who they are as an individual?:p

Thanks for posting.

Big questions, and important ones. I'm not sure what one "absolutely" needs to get back on the recovery boat, but I know that meetings have certainly worked for me to break through isolation, let me get out of myself to hear how other recovering addicts are grappling with the same stuff I am, and, of course, to get the considerable nurture you get from the 12 Steps. Primary, though, is your own desire to get sober. Without that, nothing will work. But it sounds like you DO want to stay clean -- a good word, "clean" (which implies getting out from under all the toxic stuff that using piles on you) -- and in the interest of not trying to re-invent the wheel, why not make a pact with yourself to go to 12 step meetings? If you don't find NA to your liking (not everyone does), try out some AA meetings.

Just know this: there is ABUNDANT HELP waiting for you. Hunger for it enough and you'll get it.

Keep us posted.

(May I also suggest that if your partner is still using, that you keep as much distance between you and him as you can. Not because you don't love him -- but because you have decided to save your life. As you know, being around someone who's using while you're trying not to ends up being a very very difficult deal...)

Prayers are with you. (Praying is a good thing to do, by the way).

Guy

[tjslady]

Thank you for the reply. I have a higher power whom I choose to call God, thanks that I did not loose sight of that during my using.

Right now, my spouse and I are keeping distance, we are in two different states in order to get clean. His reason is work. I have been staying with clean friends.

I think today, I will make an NA meeting. I do like them, I just do not have that get up and go yet, you know to go to 2 a day, or 1 a day, and one of the ladies there is really hard on me for this. They keep telling me I am going to use again because I have not made at least 1 a day, however, when you are shaky, vomiting, etc. etc. it is hard to go.

I do have a desire to stay clean and have surrounded myself with clean and loving people.

I have alot to make for, I have been severly ugly to my spouse in detoxing, to my children, etc.

dear tjs

sounds like your heart really IS into getting better, and that's what it takes. What about trying to hook up with a friendly acquaintance in NA and sort of making a pact to go to meetings together? Helps, sometimes, to go with someone else. You can sort of look out for each other.

Keep up the very good work...

Guy