filling that void - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

acristicat · 12-17-2006, 02:43 PM

Hi Mark -

I have been reading these threads and it seems that you have some 'good stuff" that helps a lot of people.

I am a cocaine addict - definition of insanity to a tee - keep relapsing thinking - what??

i have that "hole in the soul" we hear so much about in the program - always wanting to be good enough, and even my best isn't good enough, though i rarely show that side of me these days - it's so easyfor me to 'skate" i't not healthy..

anyhow, whydo you think, a woman who seeminglyhas "it all" would throw away her family -husband , children, home, etc. for a drug she hates/loves/hates KNOWING the consequences? I have been in AA for 8 years, relapsing every time I get away from the program, I know, I know, but i just hate me. Can't get past that. THe pretty , smart self confident woman everyone sees is not me, not really.. I have been faking it so long Idon't know who I am anymore.

Do you think we ever really fill that void??? I am skeptical as to whether I doomed to a roller-coaster ride of a life

-Thank you -

Christine

historyteach · 12-18-2006, 03:31 AM

Hi, Christine,

Mark will be here to answer your concerns.
I hope you can fill your life with some positive activities to overcome the negative thoughts. You are whomever you make yourself to be.

Shalom!

MarkSichelCSW · 12-18-2006, 01:45 PM

If you've been relapsing every time you get away from the program, then the answer would be to stick with AA, no matter how challenging or difficult that might be.

acristicat · 12-18-2006, 02:56 PM

Yah - Duh.. Thanks.

sugarbuger · 12-19-2006, 07:34 AM

For me the hole in the soul was HUGE when I was drinking. I couldn't stand to look in the mirror. I was told by my sponsor to say "God/HP let me know that I am worthy today, just because you created me". Funny thing I began to believe it! The hole shrunk when I came to believe in a power greater than myself.

12-17-2006, 02:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
acristicat In Memory Of Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Cape Cod, Mass Posts: 106	filling that void Hi Mark - I have been reading these threads and it seems that you have some 'good stuff" that helps a lot of people. I am a cocaine addict - definition of insanity to a tee - keep relapsing thinking - what?? i have that "hole in the soul" we hear so much about in the program - always wanting to be good enough, and even my best isn't good enough, though i rarely show that side of me these days - it's so easyfor me to 'skate" i't not healthy.. anyhow, whydo you think, a woman who seeminglyhas "it all" would throw away her family -husband , children, home, etc. for a drug she hates/loves/hates KNOWING the consequences? I have been in AA for 8 years, relapsing every time I get away from the program, I know, I know, but i just hate me. Can't get past that. THe pretty , smart self confident woman everyone sees is not me, not really.. I have been faking it so long Idon't know who I am anymore. Do you think we ever really fill that void??? I am skeptical as to whether I doomed to a roller-coaster ride of a life -Thank you - Christine

12-18-2006, 03:31 AM	#2 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 8,882	Hi, Christine, Mark will be here to answer your concerns. I hope you can fill your life with some positive activities to overcome the negative thoughts. You are whomever you make yourself to be. Shalom! __________________ IMAGINE

12-18-2006, 01:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
MarkSichelCSW Addiction Expert Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: NY,NY Posts: 566	If you've been relapsing every time you get away from the program, then the answer would be to stick with AA, no matter how challenging or difficult that might be. __________________ Mark Sichel, LCSW www.marksichel.com www.psybersquare.com

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12-18-2006, 02:56 PM	#4 (permalink)
acristicat In Memory Of Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Cape Cod, Mass Posts: 106	Yah - Duh.. Thanks.

12-19-2006, 07:34 AM	#5 (permalink)
sugarbuger Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Houston Texas Posts: 32	For me the hole in the soul was HUGE when I was drinking. I couldn't stand to look in the mirror. I was told by my sponsor to say "God/HP let me know that I am worthy today, just because you created me". Funny thing I began to believe it! The hole shrunk when I came to believe in a power greater than myself.

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