Is physical pain an excuse to drink?

[aGrandma]

My husband has shoulder injuries which prevent him from lying down without a lot of pain, so he cannot sleep unless he drinks alcohol. He has tried physical therapy, cortizone shots, and prescription drugs (pain pills, anti-inflammatories, muscle relaxers), and he claims nothing really helps. Because of this he drinks a 12-pack of beer each and every day, just to sleep at night. He swears he hates it, he doesn't like the taste, etc., but he has to do it to sleep (so he can work the next day.) This has been constant for at least 5 years. He is depressed and hates this way of life. I don't know who to turn to - his m.d.'s keep giving him more stuff that does not work (physical therapy, etc.) I feel bad for him and his depression. What can I do to help him? He went to a therapist who referred him to a psychiatrist, who in turn prescribed an anti-depressant, and told him to quit drinking. He tells me it's not as simple as that since he needs to drink so he can sleep, so he can work, etc. - see? It's a viscious cycle. Is he exaggerating his shoulder pain? Help! What can I do? Who can help us?

[MarkSichelCSW]

I wish I had a better answer for you, but your husband does need to quit drinking for any of his other treatments to work. He may need a detox or he may manage to withdraw by himself. He should ask his doctor. AA would help him alot & AlAnon would help you alot.

[aGrandma]

Thank you for the advice. I agree with you. But what is the next step? Should I tell him I think he needs to get help and quit? Or should I wait and let him come to that conclusion on his own? A psychiatrist already told him that he needs to stop drinking, and he told me he can't quit while his pain is so bad and nothing else will help him to sleep (except drinking).

[Wii]

Originally Posted by aGrandma

My husband has shoulder injuries which prevent him from lying down without a lot of pain, so he cannot sleep unless he drinks alcohol. He has tried physical therapy, cortizone shots, and prescription drugs (pain pills, anti-inflammatories, muscle relaxers), and he claims nothing really helps. Because of this he drinks a 12-pack of beer each and every day, just to sleep at night. He swears he hates it, he doesn't like the taste, etc., but he has to do it to sleep (so he can work the next day.) This has been constant for at least 5 years. He is depressed and hates this way of life. I don't know who to turn to - his m.d.'s keep giving him more stuff that does not work (physical therapy, etc.) I feel bad for him and his depression. What can I do to help him? He went to a therapist who referred him to a psychiatrist, who in turn prescribed an anti-depressant, and told him to quit drinking. He tells me it's not as simple as that since he needs to drink so he can sleep, so he can work, etc. - see? It's a viscious cycle. Is he exaggerating his shoulder pain? Help! What can I do? Who can help us?

Oh yes aG, that certainly does sound familiar. I went through a period of time that I drank JUST to get some sleep. That was at the very beginning of my Drinking Career. I was told by a Doctor AND my husband at that time to "Have a drink" that'll knock you out. Well, I DID have a drink and a few million more. Stayed up alot of nights too not giving a flying crap if I was awake or not, just having a good old time.

Yes, it IS a viscious cycle and he may have to do the cycle for a while until he sees that it's really a Bad Road to go down.

I quit drinking a few times for long periods but went back BECAUSE of physical pain. I think THAT is just the Worst trigger for us.

Now if I have pain I TRY to figure out WHY it's there and what I can do, besides drinking, to prevent it or alleviate it when it happens.

Since he has You there maybe a nice, warming massage? There is a warming lotion you can buy. Can't recall the name right now but I'll see if I can find it.

A hot shower or long hot soak, a heating pad, Bengay, buy a tub Spa, they aren't that expensive. Go to the Y and sit in the whirlpool if you can or Swim, or for him just float in the warm pool if they have one. Also, there are OTC pain meds you can try, I use Momentum sometimes for back pain and it works Very well for being OTC. A masseuse might help.

I feel bad for any Alcoholic who has to deal with physical pain. Is your husband's pain from a accident?

[MarkSichelCSW]

You need to focus on yourself and what you are and are not willing to live with. You're clearly a co-alcoholic, co-dependent or whatever in this relationship and you coud get help from Al Anon. I wish I could but unfortunately cannot give you a blueprint for how to deal with this.

[aGrandma]

Thanks everyone for the thoughtful replies. His shoulder pain is from a work-related injury. This happened nearly 20 years ago, and believe me he's tried all kinds of OTC pain medicines, as well as ben gay (there are many types and brands of this heating muscle relaxing stuff). He claims nothing works to make the pain tolerable for lying down to sleep.
Maybe I'm nieve, of course this is all new to me - but I am not a co-alcoholic or a co-dependent, I have nothing to do with his drinking other than I know he does it. I don't buy it for him, I don't drink it at all....I don't nag at him or fight with him. I actually don't know WHAT to do!! That's why I'm here on this board, hoping to find some information, some clues, as to how to deal with this big problem.
He's a good person, he works every day, he helps with the house work, he helps with our family, etc. He is well-liked, and he has a lot of friends. But half of his day is spent drinking beer after beer, and I basically don't have much to do with him for those hours. I've lost my companion for half the day. And he is VERY DEPRESSED.
He is the type of person who hates to make phone calls, etc. He has me do everything for him. So I know he won't search out help for himself.
What can I do? What SHOULD I do?
I guess my next step is to contact Al Anon in my area. Ok!

[MarkSichelCSW]

I'm really happy for you that you're giving Al Anon a shot. I think its a wonderful Christmas present to yourself and that you'll benefit greatly and be glad you went.