Helping Others Recover

[stavros]

Hello,

I have a relative who is a long time abuser of alcohol and marijuana. He is 23 years old and has been stuck in this phase for about 11-13 years. My belief if that these problems were caused due to the break up of his parents at that stage.

He is depressed, but refuses to take medication or take the advice of a profession psychologist. He doesnt work, and lives at home with his mum. He doesnt have any friends, or motivation to do anything.

How do we go about convicing him that he seriously needs help. And play a part in his recovery. The notion of him having to realise himself that he needs this help is fundametally flawed as he is not in a correct state of mind to make this decsion.

Your thoughs appreciated.

[historyteach]

Hi, stavros,
And welcome to SR!

I hear your concerns, and understand. As long as he doesn't have to change, he has no reason to do so. He is living at home, being enabled by his mom. I suggest Codependent No More, a book by Melody Beattie.

And I also suggest posting in the friends and families of substance abusers forum, and face to face meetings. There's much to learn about addiction.

Mark will be here to offer his thoughts.

I wish you well.

Shalom!

[MarkSichelCSW]

I don't think there's much you can do for your cousin and as Teach said, his Mum is enabling him to stay addicted. Sadly people have to often reach rock bottom to stop their addiction and the urging of others along the way doesn't influence them. Your motivation is kind. But you are better off with other things to focus on that you have some control over.