~ What society Tells us we Should be able to Handle!! ~

[Wii]

This had me duped { SP? DOOPED? } most of my life.

Many times I found myself in situations that I was "Supposed" to be able to handle.

[Wii]

OK, now that I opened this topic up I'll elaborate a little on what I mean.......

Marriage.

I don't think I was ever Supposed to be a married person. I tend to get on better alone, by myself, like an Ape in the Jungle. I surround myself with the things I love, animals, growing, living things like plants I know that we are supposed to WANT to be with another person but the 2 times I was married, I Hated it.

[Wii]

I don't think I have ever met another person who feels this way or at least no one has ever said this to me. But then I have never told anyone this before.

This is probably something most people never think about. The fact that they'd like to live a solitary existence. But if you think about how many people use alcohol and drugs to escape their everyday lives couldn't it be because some of us really want to just be left alone??

[Wii]

I hope that someone else answers this thread. I know I like being alone but in a thread it's nice to have some input. I just love this NosePick smilie.

[historyteach]

Wii;
Well, I suppose there are people who feel like they should be alone.
I know we are social animals,
But, you could be that exception that proves the rule.

Or it could be that you married the wrong person, or for the wrong reason.

Mark will be here to answer your concerns.

Shalom!

[Wii]

Yes, that IS true. I married the first time, an arranged marriage which I Did NOT want. And the second time to keep my daughter. If I was married my first husband had less chance of getting custody of her, or so I was led to believe.

Last I heard my daughter said her father molested her on her visits. BUT she lies about everyone to get sympathy so people will buy her things to make her feel better.She has done that since she was little. I shouldn't really talk about her too much, I get upset. Since both her parents ARE Alcoholics she is probably too.

[Wii]

Originally Posted by historyteach

Wii;
Well, I suppose there are people who feel like they should be alone.
I know we are social animals,
But, you could be that exception that proves the rule.

Or it could be that you married the wrong person, or for the wrong reason.

Mark will be here to answer your concerns.

Shalom!

And YOU are Mark? I assume??

[historyteach]

No, I'm historyteach, as my username says...
And I stated that Mark will be here to answer your concerns.
I am a greeter for Mark's forum, that's all. And I like to make sure that people don't stay too long on the forum without a reply.
Like I said,
Mark will be here. He's the expert and much smarter than I!

SHalom!

[MarkSichelCSW]

I don't think you're unusual in not wanting to get married again and deciding its best for you not to go along with the societal program of getting married. I'm surprised you don't know others who feel this way but many people do and maybe you need to get out and build a social network so you won't feel so isolated and unusual.

[Wii]

Originally Posted by MarkSichelCSW

I don't think you're unusual in not wanting to get married again and deciding its best for you not to go along with the societal program of getting married. I'm surprised you don't know others who feel this way but many people do and maybe you need to get out and build a social network so you won't feel so isolated and unusual.

Yes, I know that. I think as we get older we realize that we have value to ourselves by ourselves. All my life I have had to do things for other people whether I wanted to or not. Got myself stuck in situations that I found to be intolerable and the only way out was to get smashed. At least it gave me a few hours a day when I didn't have to think about how miserable I was.

Now that I am alone, which I happen to enjoy Very much 95% of the time, I see how much time I have wasted doing things I did not want to do for people who really didn't give a Flying Fudge about ME, only what I could DO for them. I guess they are called "Users". I figure now that if that is what being with and around people is like then I am all for my solitude. At least I am not exhausted everyday doing things that do ME absolutely no good.

Yes, I do feel loneliness sometimes but I guess that's just something I will have to live with.

[stonespike]

Do what makes you happy. Simple. If you enjoy solitude, then you can do that. If you think marriage isn't in your cards, then don't play the marriage card. Marriage is one of those things when both parties have to feel the same, and have to contribute equally. If one or both don't... it usually fails.

No one should have to feel miserable. I find it absurd that a lot of people think that life is meant to be miserable. Or that a lot of people think thats all life really is about. Many think that they will never be happy no matter how good things get, or how well they have it. I feel sorry for them, and sure I, too, feel pretty depressed/pessimistic at times. But I know that I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. And that if I am feeling miserable or lonely... I have the option to fix or change whatever I like.
I guess that's what is so good about America-- people can do what makes them happy, as many times as they want, when they want. Just as long as it doesn't step on anyone else's toes, or hurts someone.

You can choose to do whatever you like, and what makes you happy! Don't waste your time, or someone else's time listening to the constant pressure society puts on us all, that we should be in a relationship, or married. That pressure is there, so I know what you speak of. But don't feel like a loser(like people make you feel sometimes) if you're single, and enjoy solitude.

[stonespike]

And...... i am not a expert. By any means... just opinion.



That was free, the next will cost ya!

[Wii]

I recall a few years ago a woman's mother was bugging her to get married. SOOOOO, this woman married a blow up doll named John. For Real. Had a ceremony and everything. When this woman was interviewed by the news she said that she did this because there is no back talk with John.

[Ten Chips Down]

Damnit she PROMISED she wouldn't tell!

[Ten Chips Down]

Wii, seriously though, you are hardly alone. As Mark mentioned I don't know where you acquired the notion that it is somehow neurotic or a rarity to not be fit for marriage, but you are in a vast company of other single persons who prefer it that way.

I'm certainly a member of that society. You know. Like we here in sci-fi: "We are out there." LOL


Stonespike -

I think we can all be considered "expert" in just about any area of life experience through which have lived. No disrespect indirect or otherwise intended towards Mark I just harbor a distaste for the wholly subjective title of "expert"; for at most, self-appointed experts can only render their best estimate, assessment, and finally concluding opinion on any situation presented.

And as we all have all seen, SR is chock full of people who meet that criterion in many areas.

Ten

[historyteach]

With due respect, Ten, Mark and other experts have credentials that you and I do NOT have.

There IS a difference. That's why there are liscenses. A professional liscense is indeeed worthy. I wouldn't get surgery from anyone who was not liscensed by the state as professionally worthy of performing surgery!

And I listen to counseling expertise more closely than I do any tom dick or harry who claims to know the answer.

The difference is the ability, the stamina and the willingness to learn what the profession has determined to be necessary to grant the honor of which ever discipline is under question -- be it a history degree or a medical one.

The profession determines the standard.
The professional lives up to that standard.

Tom, dick and harry have no standard! They dispense only their opinion. And we KNOW what's said about everyone having an opinion, now, don't we?

Shalom!

[Ten Chips Down]

You're weird, you just love that smilie don't you. To me it looks like a talking clam out of someone's bad acid trip. :-)

[Ten Chips Down]

It creeps me out, i tell you!