Anger

[SpyralStarecase]

I have been sober a little over 13 months and I am experiencing disturbing anger. It would be nice to hear from others who have experienced this and have learned how to work through it. This has been a faltering point for me in the past and I am worried about losing my sobriety--and mind--over it. Thanks.

[historyteach]

Hi, Spyral;
And welcome to SR!!!

Mark will be here to answer your concerns.
In the meantime, why not go over to the alcoholism forums. There's teh 12 step forum and a generic type forum.
My thoughts are with your anger concerns, a 12 step program may well be the ticket for you!
Either way, there are lots of people willing to share their experience, strength and hope with you.

I wish you well.

Shalom!

[MarkSichelCSW]

You don't say whether you're going to AA meetings but if you aren't, you'll get a great deal of help dealing with the anger at those meetings. I think as long as you keep reaching out and talking about it AND STAYING SOBER you will work through it.

[SpyralStarecase]

Thank you both for your support.
Am I on a public forum or a private one? I am not sure if the questions I have been posting are available for everyone to see or not.
Once again, thanks.
Veronica

[gimmeid]

yep yer on the air...and what Mark said hits the nail on the head. Our emotional difficulties can be complex and deep rooted, but if you keep plugging, you will look back one day and be amazed. That has been my experience.

[jlo34]

Veronica,
I can really relate to you. When I got sober and for several years thereafter, I was so angry...rageful. I earned my sobriety through AA...though I'm a bit of a hard-head and super stubborn. I didn't want to do what others suggested I should do..such as get a sponsor...work the steps. It's only by the Grace of my HP that I'm still sober!!! My main topic I brought up at meetings was anger/rage/resentment. My anger really scared me.

Honestly, I didn't really get to the root of it, until I did a totally honest and thorough 4th and 5th step. I had talked about it before...but it wasn't until I approached a woman I had tried avoiding the entirety of my sobriety. I tell ya, when you hurt bad enough...you are willing to do anything (at least, I am!). I approached her, took that part of my 5th step to her...as if by magic...this woman held the key for me. She had the answer I had looked for most of my life. I was finally able to find acceptance. I no longer felt the need to punish myself...treat myself like crap...didn't have to be angry. As soon as I got home that day, I got down on my knees and earnestly did a 6th and 7th step. It was the most unforgettable feeling in the world. I had a spiritual experience...that gave me absolute peace and serenity. I was riding a pink cloud for several months...I've been able to hold onto that peace and serenity for nearly every day since then (give or take a day or two). That's been nearly 2 years ago.

I've learned a lot of other things too, though that have helped. I try to avoid stress. I try to leave early so I don't have to rush places and get angry at/with traffic. I talk nicely to myself. I think positively rather than negatively (that was really hard for me!!!). I ask my HP for help, every day. I try to give back. I go to a lot of meetings (AA).

Another thing I had to watch was the depression. Depression seems to hit alcoholics hard. Especially those with "anger issues". Many say that depression is anger turned inward. I'd have to agree. So another aspect of treating myself well is to always be aware of the signs of depression and combat them as soon as I think it might be heading there.

Only you can really decide on how "managable" your anger is. Mine was out of control, many times. Though I didn't outright "hurt anyone"....I scared myself, too many times. My last depression...it was a daily fight, to live. I literally had to take it minute by minute...hour by hour at times. I was really scared and too darned proud to ask for professional help. It nearly cost me my life.

I got to thinking about that, yesterday, Thanksgiving. I had tears in my eyes as I was remembering how awful I felt 2 years ago..and how wonderful my life is today. I can't believe that I seriously considered ending it...just because I was unwilling to accept life on life's terms. Please, if you feel frightened by your anger...get some help. There is so much help out there...all you need to do is ask. This is a great beginning. Only YOU know how you truly feel. Be absolutely honest with yourself. There really is NO SHAME asking for help.

If you'd like to discuss further, please feel free to PM or send me an e-mail.
Blessings,
Jen