Confront or Overlook?

[CrushedbyCrack]

I need some advice because I'm struggling with something. I have confronted my AH several times about his crack use in the past month. I have caught him in lies and confronted him when I know he is using. He usually responds with "I want to quit" but then there is some excuse. Over the weekend he sat me down and told me that I'm not helping him by confronting him and his dealers and threatening to call the cops. He says when I confront him, it's like me calling him a crack head everyday and that makes him feel worthless like I don't respect him. He said that when I tell him "I don't think you really want to quit" it makes him want to go out and do more because I don't have faith in him anyway. So, I told him I confront, and do this stuff because I care and don't want to see him hurt himself. I told him I can't just ignore it. Now, granted, he is not one of those people that spends his whole check on crack, he doesn't steal or hock stuff. I barely notice money missing. But it is, maybe a $50-60 per week habit. But my fear is that it will become worse, and will affect our ability to pay bills/survive/etc. I told him I would quit confronting him, but still expect him to get help or help himself. I bought him some self-help books "How to Quit Using Drugs for Good" was one of them. I also bought myself one on how to save your family from addiction or something like that. He has been reading the book I bought him, and he seems to be sincere about quitting. However, here is the catch...I know he lied to me (very elaborate story) on Monday to go get drugs. He lied to me again that he got gas with the debit card, but it was an ATM withdrawal for $20 on Tuesday to get drugs. Now that I know this and it's Friday now, do I confront him again, and possibly make things worse, or do I let it go and ignore it for now and hope he is sincerely working to help himself by reading the book? Do I turn a blind eye for now and see how things are going in a few months and if things are the same or worse, then confront him again? Just torn here about what actions I should take.

[Jwife22]

Hi (((Crushed)))

Just know, you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it.

Its his decision to use no matter WHAT you say or do. Mostly that is an excuse.......

Come down and join us in the Friends and Family of Substance Abusers forum until Mark gets a chance to answer your question.

[MarkSichelCSW]

You and AH need to be in a recovery program and if he won't go along with it, you should go anyway because if you keep doing things the same old way you'll keep getting the same old bad results.